Venting People

[ShatteredSoul]

So many people have had warnings that I'm severely depressed and in agony. They still brush it off, I don't hear off them for days and rarely ask how I am or how they can help me.
I realise now why some people leave no note or even a warning.
I understand why my friend just went in to his garage one night and hung himself.
I'm sick to death of people seeming so shocked by a person's suicide when in reality if that person cries out for help they dismiss them or call them attention seekers.
The sooner I leave the better, imagine being elderly and this alone,sick and depressed. It's already torture.
Today some dick posted "hang in there" on one of my posts about hanging myself and I just thought wow even this isn't a safe zone to get some fucking empathy.
I feel extremely alone in my agony after today and some of the messages I've received on another platform. I think I need to start keeping it all inside.

 

[Lullaby]

It really sucks when people what you're going through, have been through, basically all of your trauma and they still treat you like crap. I completely get it.

It's really hard to get empathy from people, on top of just finding decent people you can trust and that care. They exist but sometimes it feels like digging through a landfill trying to find them.

Also, screw that loser. Some idiots try so hard to be edgy and an asshole to others, just to make themselves feel better because they feel miserable too.

 

[FuneralCry]

Just ignore pro lifers, they will never be able to understand. Platitudes are so annoying and invalidating. I'm sorry that you are suffering, I feel like in general, people can be very selfish. Old age also sounds horrible to me, I must be gone by then. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[DrownFeather]

Same here im pretty much depressed and they know I have something wrong with me but i been 1 month of being just in my room alone guess what no one said what's wrong with me or why I'm locking yourself and not talking to anyone, guess it's there fault for not caring and they will be 1000% shocked when i do it, without leaving note or just write small note "it's your fault", peoples pretty selfish and ignorance so make them on "mute" better, sorry for your struggles.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

Same here im pretty much depressed and they know I have something wrong with me but i been 1 month of being just in my room alone guess what no one said what's wrong with me or why I'm locking yourself and not talking to anyone, guess it's there fault for not caring and they will be 1000% shocked when i do it, without leaving note or just write small note "it's your fault", peoples pretty selfish and ignorance so make them on "mute" better, sorry for your struggles.

I'm going to start majorly withdrawing again. I'm basically a Hermit anyway, I'll just not bother with anyone now, try and get my head together to ctb, I don't want anyone finding me too soon,I don't want to accidentally survive and I need to take my keys out of the external key safe. Early hours of the morning will probably be the best time to do it. Just worried about overly thrashing about and making noise, need to think of some noise prevention as the last thing I need is the police being called by neighbours.

 

[DrownFeather]

I'm going to start majorly withdrawing again. I'm basically a Hermit anyway, I'll just not bother with anyone now, try and get my head together to ctb, I don't want anyone finding me too soon,I don't want to accidentally survive and I need to take my keys out of the external key safe. Early hours of the morning will probably be the best time to do it. Just worried about overly thrashing about and making noise, need to think of some noise prevention as the last thing I need is the police being called by neighbours.

Me too, will do it in early morning hours, if they catch me they will put me in psych ward forever

 

[ShatteredSoul]

Me too, will do it in early morning hours, if they catch me they will put me in psych ward forever

I hate the way we're treated. We just want to go, we don't want to be treated as animals and drugged just to be able to get through life. Life is not for me, I've had to be on psych meds since I was a child. This is no life,it's an existence and pure survival.

 

[DrownFeather]

Sad life, and with all these pro-lifers it's getting so hard to make ctb or even talking about it, hopefully new world perspective show soon about suicide topic and choice

 

[ItHurtsSoMuch]

So many people have had warnings that I'm severely depressed and in agony. They still brush it off, I don't hear off them for days and rarely ask how I am or how they can help me.
I realise now why some people leave no note or even a warning.
I understand why my friend just went in to his garage one night and hung himself.
I'm sick to death of people seeming so shocked by a person's suicide when in reality if that person cries out for help they dismiss them or call them attention seekers.
The sooner I leave the better, imagine being elderly and this alone,sick and depressed. It's already torture.
Today some dick posted "hang in there" on one of my posts about hanging myself and I just thought wow even this isn't a safe zone to get some fucking empathy.
I feel extremely alone in my agony after today and some of the messages I've received on another platform. I think I need to start keeping it all inside.

I'm sorry you haven't felt supported. Don't keep it inside. I understand the agony. I'm sorry you feel alone.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

I'm sorry you haven't felt supported. Don't keep it inside. I understand the agony. I'm sorry you feel alone.

I'm sure you can understand that it feels like grief and it hurts your chest. Like a loved one dying over and over each day.

 

[stellabelle]

So many people have had warnings that I'm severely depressed and in agony. They still brush it off, I don't hear off them for days and rarely ask how I am or how they can help me.
I realise now why some people leave no note or even a warning.
I understand why my friend just went in to his garage one night and hung himself.
I'm sick to death of people seeming so shocked by a person's suicide when in reality if that person cries out for help they dismiss them or call them attention seekers.
The sooner I leave the better, imagine being elderly and this alone,sick and depressed. It's already torture.
Today some dick posted "hang in there" on one of my posts about hanging myself and I just thought wow even this isn't a safe zone to get some fucking empathy.
I feel extremely alone in my agony after today and some of the messages I've received on another platform. I think I need to start keeping it all inside.

Dismissing and refusal to acknowledge or communicate with a person struggling is absolutely cruel.

I think some people even ignore those cries for help and the exploit their own emotions about the persons death in order to gain empathy or attention. Maybe even to make themselves good, suicide awareness, oh, what a shame, too bad I dumped my friend and ignored them and said feel better soon!


The idea of being elderly, alone, sick, and depressed is absolutely devastating. I saw a really fucked up death, and I was greatly impacted by that tragedy when I went to "deal with" it I had a mental breakdown and no adequate help, just a fuck faced snitch who was too uhbsessssed with his DOGGGEEEE and getting PUSSEEEEEEEEY to drop me off at a fucking rail station to go back to work, I kept begging for help just to get ignored and fucked with. More and more turmoil.

I will tell you…. Life is not always a positive experience and there are too many who wind up like me, who wind up like her, because of stupidity, abuse, ignorance, neglect, and a lack of proper judgement, support, or assistance,

Essentially they robbed the shit out of her, used and abused, she worked until the day she died, suffered in a great deal of pain, had nobody except for a deadbeat lying husband who continued to abuse and taunt her daughter after the death occurred.

Part of it was brought on by her own mistakes and behavior, the other part of it, she was in fact a victim as much as an assailant.

Not fun, not funny, I keep living with these flashbacks, and I wish she didn't IGNORE me and fuck with me to the very bitter last end, and I wish I wasn't on the one way Street of no debate, no help, no truth, just backstabbing, lies, playing pretend, more backstabbing, neglect, lies, stupidity…. It was so STUPID, and this depressed me beyond…

 

[ShatteredSoul]

Dismissing and refusal to acknowledge or communicate with a person struggling is absolutely cruel.

I think some people even ignore those cries for help and the exploit their own emotions about the persons death in order to gain empathy or attention. Maybe even to make themselves good, suicide awareness, oh, what a shame, too bad I dumped my friend and ignored them and said feel better soon!


The idea of being elderly, alone, sick, and depressed is absolutely devastating. I saw a really fucked up death, and I was greatly impacted by that tragedy when I went to "deal with" it I had a mental breakdown and no adequate help, just a fuck faced snitch who was too uhbsessssed with his DOGGGEEEE and getting PUSSEEEEEEEEY to drop me off at a fucking rail station to go back to work, I kept begging for help just to get ignored and fucked with. More and more turmoil.

I will tell you…. Life is not always a positive experience and there are too many who wind up like me, who wind up like her, because of stupidity, abuse, ignorance, neglect, and a lack of proper judgement, support, or assistance,

Essentially they robbed the shit out of her, used and abused, she worked until the day she died, suffered in a great deal of pain, had nobody except for a deadbeat lying husband who continued to abuse and taunt her daughter after the death occurred.

Part of it was brought on by her own mistakes and behavior, the other part of it, she was in fact a victim as much as an assailant.

Not fun, not funny, I keep living with these flashbacks, and I wish she didn't IGNORE me and fuck with me to the very bitter last end, and I wish I wasn't on the one way Street of no debate, no help, no truth, just backstabbing, lies, playing pretend, more backstabbing, neglect, lies, stupidity…. It was so STUPID, and this depressed me beyond…

I agree with you. I'm so sorry you went through that. People and life are so fucked up. No wonder my fave tv series is six feet under. I watch it over and over as it's so relatable.

 

[stellabelle]

I agree with you. I'm so sorry you went through that. People and life are so fucked up. No wonder my fave tv series is six feet under. I watch it over and over as it's so relatable.

They really are. And I have also been "fucked up" because of fucked up shit. It's VERY SAD. Because it's everything I stood AGAINST. And everything people continued to do to create discord, turmoil, torment, mistrust, and lack of love or stability.

She had problems and behavior challenges.
I used to act out in a bid for help, but I kept getting ignored. The problems were ignored until they reared their ugly head, and then, it continued and continued and god, on and on and on and on… the solutions were SIMPLE but nobody would ever HEAR ME… they did it on purpose and tried to cover up all of it… it is so very sad. Because it was intentional. And then things just got worse and worse.

Now I am not the person I used to be as a result of that abuse, and being put at risk in so many ways… tired of this world, people, their sick little "game" and everything else.

It's all over for her.

Been over for me for years because of her bullshit and lies and fucking around and destruction.

I cannot function, she was my mother.

Everyone I have ever been around has been a liar, a thief, a shit disturber, an abuser, an addict, a rapist, or just terribly misguided.

I have created unnecessary turmoil for a person who didn't need it that wanted to "help" me, but then I just got worse and worse, and I feel worse and worse about it all the time, I cannot get my joy or happiness back, my stability, honor, respect, education, or anything else.

I am so fucked up in my head and sad all the time, 24/7 triggered, and really very depressed.

I figured no matter what it was all the same, and I wasn't wrong.

Now I have a growing resentment for "happy", "stable", "respected", "supported", "educated", "successful", "well rounded" people.

I am so fucked in my head that it almost actually brings me a SICK SENSE OF JOY that those people are being tragically killed.

Aww well, too bad.

Aww well, they had choices!

What choices did they have?

None, they died, HAHA!


How fucked up.
I didn't used to be like that.

So callous, cruel, and wicked.

And by that, I mean you see news articles of those people and whatever someone did to them, and yes, it is so senseless and stupid… I ask if it's even real because I wonder… but in any case… oh well…

 

[ShatteredSoul]

They really are. And I have also been "fucked up" because of fucked up shit. It's VERY SAD. Because it's everything I stood AGAINST. And everything people continued to do to create discord, turmoil, torment, mistrust, and lack of love or stability.

She had problems and behavior challenges.
I used to act out in a bid for help, but I kept getting ignored. The problems were ignored until they reared their ugly head, and then, it continued and continued and god, on and on and on and on… the solutions were SIMPLE but nobody would ever HEAR ME… they did it on purpose and tried to cover up all of it… it is so very sad. Because it was intentional. And then things just got worse and worse.

Now I am not the person I used to be as a result of that abuse, and being put at risk in so many ways… tired of this world, people, their sick little "game" and everything else.

It's all over for her.

Been over for me for years because of her bullshit and lies and fucking around and destruction.

I cannot function, she was my mother.

Everyone I have ever been around has been a liar, a thief, a shit disturber, an abuser, an addict, a rapist, or just terribly misguided.

I have created unnecessary turmoil for a person who didn't need it that wanted to "help" me, but then I just got worse and worse, and I feel worse and worse about it all the time, I cannot get my joy or happiness back, my stability, honor, respect, education, or anything else.

I am so fucked up in my head and sad all the time, 24/7 triggered, and really very depressed.

I figured no matter what it was all the same, and I wasn't wrong.

Now I have a growing resentment for "happy", "stable", "respected", "supported", "educated", "successful", "well rounded" people.

I am so fucked in my head that it almost actually brings me a SICK SENSE OF JOY that those people are being tragically killed.

Aww well, too bad.

Aww well, they had choices!

What choices did they have?

None, they died, HAHA!


How fucked up.
I didn't used to be like that.

So callous, cruel, and wicked.

And by that, I mean you see news articles of those people and whatever someone did to them, and yes, it is so senseless and stupid… I ask if it's even real because I wonder… but in any case… oh well…

I get where you're coming from. Seeing happy people, who have stable and supportive families fills me with grief at my own loneliness, depression and trauma. It's a realisation that I'll NEVER have that and it makes me enraged that I was ever born. Some people have no idea how lucky they are. Today I got dumped like trash just because I have 2 illnesses that aren't my fault, he was more concerned with his needs and how he'd prefer a gf that could go abroad with him. Now I'm even more angry and more depressed than before! I don't know why I bother with people anymore.

 

[stellabelle]

I get where you're coming from. Seeing happy people, who have stable and supportive families fills me with grief at my own loneliness, depression and trauma. It's a realisation that I'll NEVER have that and it makes me enraged that I was ever born. Some people have no idea how lucky they are. Today I got dumped like trash just because I have 2 illnesses that aren't my fault, he was more concerned with his needs and how he'd prefer a gf that could go abroad with him. Now I'm even more angry and more depressed than before! I don't know why I bother with people anymore.

Ugh, that's the fuckin saddest thing. I used to enjoy seeing normal, happy, healthy, functional people just being people… that turned so dark for me becaus of the unnecessary hardship and pain I was struggling with.

He ignored me when I said no, leave me alone, stop bothering me, I don't want to be with you, I don't want to have sex with you, ETC. they actually COLLABORATED to abuse and continue the abuse and IGNORED MY CRIES FOR HELP, he IGNORED THE FACT I DIDNT WANT TO BE WITH HIM OR AROUND HIM OR HIM ANYWHRRE NEAR ME. They IGNORED THE STALKING AND THE ABUSE.

I hate to be this ray of doom, but people are incredibly selfish. The dating pool regurgitated itself and vomited repeatedly, people are horrible.

It's okay that relationships don't always "work out" - rejection didn't bother me, the inability to be "good enough", desperation to be loved, and the constant sexual abuse and exploitation destroyed me inside and out.
I wanted OUT OF AN UNWANTED RELATIONSHIP AND WAS REPEATEDLY FORCED INTO IT.

By now, I am so fuckin DAMGED FROM WHAT ALL THESE PEOPLE DID.

Everyone else got to be happy,

And whatever's left floating around the "dating pool" is like a turd in a hot spring, everyone sees it, knows it, and just leaves it to steam or find a second turd to float around with, contaminating everything.

Including me, unfortunately (gentle laugh)

 

[ShatteredSoul]

Ugh, that's the fuckin saddest thing. I used to enjoy seeing normal, happy, healthy, functional people just being people… that turned so dark for me becaus of the unnecessary hardship and pain I was struggling with.

He ignored me when I said no, leave me alone, stop bothering me, I don't want to be with you, I don't want to have sex with you, ETC. they actually COLLABORATED to abuse and continue the abuse and IGNORED MY CRIES FOR HELP, he IGNORED THE FACT I DIDNT WANT TO BE WITH HIM OR AROUND HIM OR HIM ANYWHRRE NEAR ME. They IGNORED THE STALKING AND THE ABUSE.

I hate to be this ray of doom, but people are incredibly selfish. The dating pool regurgitated itself and vomited repeatedly, people are horrible.

It's okay that relationships don't always "work out" - rejection didn't bother me, the inability to be "good enough", desperation to be loved, and the constant sexual abuse and exploitation destroyed me inside and out.
I wanted OUT OF AN UNWANTED RELATIONSHIP AND WAS REPEATEDLY FORCED INTO IT.

By now, I am so fuckin DAMGED FROM WHAT ALL THESE PEOPLE DID.

Everyone else got to be happy,

And whatever's left floating around the "dating pool" is like a turd in a hot spring, everyone sees it, knows it, and just leaves it to steam or find a second turd to float around with, contaminating everything.

Including me, unfortunately (gentle laugh)

Dating sites are a cesspit of narcissistic,misogynistic,self proclaimed nice guys who'll say anything to manipulate women in to having sex with them. Very rapey behaviour.
I've been nothing but raped, sexually assaulted ,emotionally abused,hit and manipulated by men. I still stupidly gave them a chance after all that.
Sometimes I wonder what it will take to kill this urge to be loved by a man. At my age all the decent ones are married off or gay. It's a needle in a haystack and I need to,for my own sanity,come to terms that I'll never find my person.

 

[stellabelle]

Dating sites are a cesspit of narcissistic,misogynistic,self proclaimed nice guys who'll say anything to manipulate women in to having sex with them. Very rapey behaviour.
I've been nothing but raped, sexually assaulted ,emotionally abused,hit and manipulated by men. I still stupidly gave them a chance after all that.
Sometimes I wonder what it will take to kill this urge to be loved by a man. At my age all the decent ones are married off or gay. It's a needle in a haystack and I need to,for my own sanity,come to terms that I'll never find my person.

Absolutely. It's like a shopping guide for your next disposable partner.

It's not even a "man" problem. I have had problems because of my gender identity and the constant struggle to attain a meaningful, harmonious relationship regardless of XX or XY chromosome.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

Absolutely. It's like a shopping guide for your next disposable partner.

It's not even a "man" problem. I have had problems because of my gender identity and the constant struggle to attain a meaningful, harmonious relationship regardless of XX or XY chromosome.

I'm bisexual, I've only ever had sex with women, no feelings ever developed. Maybe I should try again but even a lot of women can have internalised misogyny.
Yes,that's the problem these days, people see others as disposable. A lot of women who get cancer have their husbands or boyfriends leave them. It's sickening

 

[stellabelle]

I'm bisexual, I've only ever had sex with women, no feelings ever developed. Maybe I should try again but even a lot of women can have internalised misogyny.
Yes,that's the problem these days, people see others as disposable. A lot of women who get cancer have their husbands or boyfriends leave them. It's sickening

Yep, it's very unfortunate.

You know. It's a two way street, neither gender seems to have any regard for anybody.

It's sad.

Oh that poonanny was great until she developed a physical illness, have to go find somewhere else to stick my boner.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

Yep, it's very unfortunate.

You know. It's a two way street, neither gender seems to have any regard for anybody.

It's sad.

Oh that poonanny was great until she developed a physical illness, have to go find somewhere else to stick my boner.

They're sick, I hope they end up miserable and alone.

 

[stellabelle]

They're sick, I hope they end up miserable and alone.

They are SICK, and they create problems for women and young girls, who are labeled for behavior similar to that of MEN and their little "game."

This world is SICK.

Have I done something fucked up?

Absolutely.

Is it humorous?

Definitely not,

And definitely not funny.

 

[Why Me?]

So many people have had warnings that I'm severely depressed and in agony. They still brush it off, I don't hear off them for days and rarely ask how I am or how they can help me.
I realise now why some people leave no note or even a warning.
I understand why my friend just went in to his garage one night and hung himself.
I'm sick to death of people seeming so shocked by a person's suicide when in reality if that person cries out for help they dismiss them or call them attention seekers.
The sooner I leave the better, imagine being elderly and this alone,sick and depressed. It's already torture.
Today some dick posted "hang in there" on one of my posts about hanging myself and I just thought wow even this isn't a safe zone to get some fucking empathy.
I feel extremely alone in my agony after today and some of the messages I've received on another platform. I think I need to start keeping it all inside.

At this point in my life from what I've observed, I think humans are evil intelligent animals, I think expecting them not to be is what hurt me the most. I would like to hear your story, and how you ended up feeling like CTB is the best option.

 

[Britvik]

So many people have had warnings that I'm severely depressed and in agony. They still brush it off, I don't hear off them for days and rarely ask how I am or how they can help me.
I realise now why some people leave no note or even a warning.
I understand why my friend just went in to his garage one night and hung himself.
I'm sick to death of people seeming so shocked by a person's suicide when in reality if that person cries out for help they dismiss them or call them attention seekers.
The sooner I leave the better, imagine being elderly and this alone,sick and depressed. It's already torture.
Today some dick posted "hang in there" on one of my posts about hanging myself and I just thought wow even this isn't a safe zone to get some fucking empathy.
I feel extremely alone in my agony after today and some of the messages I've received on another platform. I think I need to start keeping it all inside.

So many people have issues, even those who think themselves mentally well. It could be an inflated ego, a propensity for selfishness, narcissism or whatever. They haven't been diagnosed with anything, but the world feels their unpleasant effect.

In my opinion, very few people are worth knowing. Most are just looking for attention and validation. They only give you attention so that they will receive it in return. Few really care about others on any meaningful level. In fact, altruism is so rare that it immediately generates scepticism and distrust in many people.

In your opinion, why do some people like to talk about their plans to suicide, while others just quietly get on with it?

Now I have a growing resentment for "happy", "stable", "respected", "supported", "educated", "successful", "well rounded" people.

I am so fucked in my head that it almost actually brings me a SICK SENSE OF JOY that those people are being tragically killed.
How fucked up.
I didn't used to be like that.

So callous, cruel, and wicked.

I think one of the reasons there is so much suffering in the world is due to the process you openly and honestly describe. When people are unfairly hurt it can often lead to feelings of resentment and a desire to pass it on. There are plenty of examples on this forum; some more concerning than others.

How do we stop a chain reaction without killing ourselves? If we want life to improve, we need to find answers.