Venting People

[Pallf]

I'm noticing that I don't like people as much as I used to. Everyone just irritates me and I'm losing more of my patience as the days go by. I'm not even sure I want to fix that, even though I probably should.
I can't do anything right. I think I give the right answers but nope, there's always something that I didn't consider and it makes me feel like shite. This happens online and IRL. I keep distancing myself from my online friends because I keep getting pissed off. I used to take a break maybe once every year for maybe a day. Now it's several times a year for weeks at a time.
I think about getting married and starting a family and how nice that would be, but something will remind me that I don't have the patience for a spouse or for children.
Being able to talk about why I feel this way scares me, because confrontation sucks ass and I don't want to hurt someone I care about's feelings, and I don't want them coming after me verbally.
Venting here is nice because I doubt anyone I know is here, and even if they did, they'd have to keep it a secret because outing me would out them as suicidal. There's nothing shameful about thinking of suicide, but generally people would rather not cop to that.
It's late in my part of the world but I can't sleep, so I decided to write this instead.

 

[Sensei]

Venting is healthy and I'm glad it's encouraged here. I'm in a somewhat similar situation to you. I used to be very optmistic about people, but I've lost faith in them. I still enjoy working with teenagers, though; I'm a teacher. Their minds have not yet petrified and they may still become good people. I have high hopes, but low expectations, though.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I grew up thinking that people were inherently good. Working in customer based jobs for 10 years has destroyed that image I once had of them. I've since lost most but not all of my faith in humanity.

We're animals, we just don't like to admit it as we like to think we're above it. Most people are easily driven by their base instincts and compulsions. Everyone puts on a fake face for society but you can usually see beneath the mask.

There are still some good people left in the world. They are few and far between but you learn how to spot them. These types of people restore some of my hope in humanity and I tend to gravitate towards them.

 

[Sensei]

We're animals, we just don't like to admit it as we like to think we're above it.

This is perhaps not the best thread to discuss this topic, but I don't fully agree with this. If we weren't above animals, everyone about to be executed would fight for their lives to survive until the very last minute and there would be no forum like this.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

This is perhaps not the best thread to discuss this topic, but I don't fully agree with this. If we weren't above animals, everyone about to be executed would fight for their lives to survive until the very last minute and there would be no forum like this.

Sorry If I offended you. I respect your opinion, It's just how I feel about most people. I'm not saying i feel like that with everyone of course.

I can relate alot to how the OP is feeling and I guess it's made me bitter through the years. Hopefully they're able to find some sort of outlet to work through it. Venting and this place in general is a good start to being able to face some of the root issues at hand.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I've always struggled with people from a young age, never kept friends, no interest in them. My husband and my brother are pretty much the only 2 people I tolerate. I simply don't have the time or energy to deal with others. I find everyone so selfish and wrapped up in their own world now, that anything outside of that can be treated as nothing. Safer to stick with what you know whether that's one person or 20.

 

[Sensei]

Sorry If I offended you.

What? Now I'm confused. You haven't offended me in any way, buddy. How could you have?

I respect your opinion, It's just how I feel about most people. I'm not saying i feel like that with everyone of course.

Notice that I wrote "don't fully agree". I believe that in some respects we are basically on the same level as animals, but in others we're above them. That's my two cents, anyway.

I can relate alot to how the OP is feeling and I guess it's made me bitter through the years. Hopefully they're able to find some sort of outlet to work through it. Venting and this place in general is a good start to being able to face some of the root issues at hand.

I think that being disappointed in people or even bitter is something that applies to almost every single member of this forum to one degree or another.

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

This is perhaps not the best thread to discuss this topic, but I don't fully agree with this. If we weren't above animals, everyone about to be executed would fight for their lives to survive until the very last minute and there would be no forum like this.

@Brick In The Wall and @Sensei , both of you are right when appropriate context is considered. Taxonomically, Homo Sapiens belong to kingdom Animalia. Humans have several anatomical features and primitive behavioral needs and instincts in common with the rest of the animal species.

However, humans invented the concept of society and we organised ourselves in social structures and learned or forced ourselves to adapt the social norms that befit our agreed upon culture and values.

Because of this social revolution in our evolution, thanks to the complex and highly evolved brain, we segregate ourselves from the rest of the animals.

However, our history and our present is the proof that we have, at times, broken the self-imposed lower boundaries of respectable behavior and acted in ways that even an animal would prove themselves a saint.

 

[Flume]

The real ones will get the pain behind your words... they stupid ones will not and just feel personally attacked. Knowing who is who is impossible, but if you do decide to speak, try and not make it feel like an attack. But that's your call... you know what's best better than anyone here.

 

[Sensei]

@Brick In The Wall and @Sensei , both of you are right when appropriate context is considered. Taxonomically, Homo Sapiens belong to kingdom Animalia. Humans have several anatomical and primitive behavioral needs and instincts in common with rest of the animal species.

However, humans invented the concept of society and we organised ourselves in social structures and learned or forced ourselves to adapt the social norms that befit our agreed upon culture and values.

Because of this social revolution in our evolution, thanks to the complex and highly evolved brain, we segregate ourselves from the rest of the animals.

Our history and our present is the proof that we have, at times, broken the self-imposed lower boundaries of respectable behavior and acted in ways that even an animal would prove themselves a saint.

I would have said that this is well put if it wasn't for the fact that it's perfectly put. Never have I seen this so well summarized. Are you perchance an author or a scholar?

 

[Jean4]

Never liked humans. It has always been a joke, but it is the truth.

Yesterday was the end of any hope. One specific person I wanted to have contact with didn't. A simple Merry Christmas. Didn't happen. Two words could have made the difference. I never got it.

Humans are very interesting. I have lived my life giving to others and putting others first. The doormat syndrome. Never expecting anything in return, because I knew I would never get it.

It was a test yesterday. A person I thought was different. Thought I could trust. Thought could give me hope.

I sat back and watched. Watch this person show holiday kindness to everyone. Once again. I was forgotten.

Story of my life. It has and will never change. I will always be an afterthought.

Funny thing. Two words. Could have made the difference. This individual is clueless about how 2 little words, kindness and compassion which was shown to others could have made.

It also showed me what I suspected and knew along. I don't matter. I have and always been and afterthought.

Even for those who I have been there for, I thought was in the same boat, and I thought would understand.

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

I would have said that this is well put if it wasn't for the fact that it's perfectly put. Never have I seen this so well summarized. Are you perchance an author or a scholar?

I would have said that your compliment is very kind if it wasn't for the fact that it's effusively kind. I have never been so overwhelmed. I am neither an author nor a scholar. I am just an animal aspiring to transform into a Homo Sapien by mimicking what they say and do.

 

[Sensei]

I am neither an author nor a scholar.

Maybe you should be?

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

Maybe you should be?

Thank you for the suggestion. I would consider it once I am able to get rid of the animalistic tendencies to think, behave and act in ways that calling myself even irrational would be self-glorification. I hope to cross the fine line between irrationality and rationality before I lose the understanding of the distinction. Until then I will remain obligated to your encouragement and will use it to motivate myself as I attempt to convert my baby steps into strides in this glorious path of becoming human. :-)

 

[Jean4]

Thank you for the suggestion. I would consider it once I am able to get rid of the animalistic tendencies to think, behave and act in ways that calling myself even irrational would be self-glorification. I hope to cross the fine line between irrationality and rationality before I lose the understanding of the distinction. Until then I will remain obligated to your encouragement and will use it to motivate myself as I attempt to convert my baby steps into strides in this glorious path of becoming human. :-)

I want nothing to do with the human race, and consider it to be negative.

Very little positive and a heck of a lot of negative comes from humans, as I had viewed yesterday.

Humans put their own feelings, wants and needs before others, as I have seen yesterday.

My cats put the needs of the other cats before their own. One cat takes care of my blind cat for example.

Yesterday, I really wanted to try again. Fit into the human race. It didn't work.

I'll stick with animals.

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

I'll stick with animals.

Why not, we are pro-choice after all. We can choose to be an animal or a human. What specifically did you experience yesterday, on Christmas? The birthday party of our role model didn't go well?

 

[Jean4]

Why not, we are pro-choice after all. We can choose to be an animal or a human. What specifically did you experience yesterday, on Christmas? The birthday party of our role model didn't go well?

Lol. I have been ghosted by someone for the past few days. Christmas has been during the period I am ghosted.

This particular person ghosting me is extra difficult. Stan ghosted me for a week when he chose his CTB date because he didn't know how to tell me, so this person ghosting hurt extra.

Being self actualized sucks. At least I know why I feel things and the reasoning behind it.

The funny thing is. I don't blame the person. I blame me. I touched the hot stove hoping for a different outcome. It didn't happen.

Why not, we are pro-choice after all. We can choose to be an animal or a human. What specifically did you experience yesterday, on Christmas? The birthday party of our role model didn't go well?

Lol. I have been ghosted by someone for the past few days. Christmas has been during the period I am ghosted.

This particular person ghosting me is extra difficult. Stan ghosted me for a week when he chose his CTB date because he didn't know how to tell me, so this person ghosting hurt extra.

Being self actualized sucks. At least I know why I feel things and the reasoning behind it.

The funny thing is. I don't blame the person. I blame me. I touched the hot stove hoping for a different outcome.

 

[Final Escape]

The way people are now is not how we have always been. We live in an artificial environment that does not bring out the best in people. It was a much more sane and moral society decades ago but if u mess with the natural order the human condition deteriorates. So yea it's not surprising that more people now are fucked up or major character flaws etc. Social media has changed things too. I guess it's been harmful. It's like a mixed bag and I'm sure some types of social media are worse than others.

 

[Sensei]

Yesterday, I really wanted to try again. Fit into the human race. It didn't work.

I base this more on intuition than anything you've written in this forum, but I think you and I have something in common. I'm not thinking of the fact that we both have cats, but about something I'd like to call inexplicable social inaptitude, ISI.

I should be socially functioning. I've been told I'm charming and handsome, however conceited that may sound. I really try to be kind and I analyse my actions. Admittedly, I can be irritable at times, but I've learned to control this rather well. In short, I think I have the basic prerequisites for social interaction, but it simply doesn't work. When I partake in discussions they often get strained, I can tell that I say things that are slightly wrong in some way, I never get invited to any events, I have problems getting and keeping friends, and so on. I've brooded on this very much, but I can't understand what I'm doing wrong. It's something subtle that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to figure out. The only thing I know is that I'm a social failure and that I'm on the verge of becoming isolated. My intuition tells me that you can identify with this to a rather high degree.

However, that's private life. At work, I function socially, even very well. The explanation is probably that the rules for interaction between colleagues and between teachers and pupils are very well defnied, although often implicit in nature. Also, when I have the opportunity to visit a music festival in another country, sadly only once a year, I suddenly fit in. Instead of sitting in a corner and feeling uncomfortable as I usually do, I always talk to 50 people or so, no exaggeration. They're simply like me and I can have what I consider to be normal conversations with them. If I could be at that festival all year round, I wouldn't be this suicidal for sure.

So, what's the point of this narcissistic rambling? The point is that context is essential. Just because we can't function in an ordinary context with ordinary people, it doesn't mean that we can't function in other contexts with other people. I'm not saying that it's easy to find such a context, but it's absolutely not impossible. My very predictable question is, do you know of any other context where you could meet your kind of people?

 

[Jean4]

I base this more on intuition than anything you've written in this forum, but I think you and I have something in common. I'm not thinking of the fact that we both have cats, but about something I'd like to call inexplicable social inaptitude, ISI.

I should be socially functioning. I've been told I'm charming and handsome, however conceited that may sound. I really try to be kind and I analyse my actions. Admittedly, I can be irritable at times, but I've learned to control this rather well. In short, I think I have the basic prerequisites for social interaction, but it simply doesn't work. When I partake in discussions they often get strained, I can tell that I say things that are slightly wrong in some way, I never get invited to any events, I have problems getting and keeping friends, and so on. I've brooded on this very much, but I can't understand what I'm doing wrong. It's something subtle that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to figure out. The only thing I know is that I'm a social failure and that I'm on the verge of becoming isolated. My intuition tells me that you can identify with this to a rather high degree.

However, that's private life. At work, I function socially, even very well. The explanation is probably that the rules for interaction between colleagues and between teachers and pupils are very well defnied, although often implicit in nature. Also, when I have the opportunity to visit a music festival in another country, sadly only once a year, I suddenly fit in. Instead of sitting in a corner and feeling uncomfortable as I usually do, I always talk to 50 people or so, no exaggeration. They're simply like me and I can have what I consider to be normal conversations with them. If I could be at that festival all year round, I wouldn't be this suicidal for sure.

So, what's the point of this narcissistic rambling? The point is that context is essential. Just because we can't function in an ordinary context with ordinary people, it doesn't mean that we can't function in other contexts with other people. I'm not saying that it's easy to find such a context, but it's absolutely not impossible. My very predictable question is, do you know of any other context where you could meet your kind of people?

I am in the Entertainment business. The best in my area. Loved by many. But I am loved for what I can do, and not who I am.

In my previous life, I was a social worker saving the world. I am a very strange combination. I gave everything to help others as a social worker, switched professions and am now in the most egocentric industry imaginable.

Which is why this particular ghosting hurts so much. The individual knows who I am. Is not in the industry, so I thought didn't care. Now I am ghosted.

I can fit into any situation. I live in a world of fakeness, which is part of the reason I want out.

This person has showed me. No matter what I do, the outcome of the hot stove will remain the same.

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

The funny thing is. I don't blame the person. I blame me. I touched the hot stove hoping for a different outcome. It didn't happen.

Lol. I have been ghosted by someone for the past few days. Christmas has been during the period I am ghosted.

The funny thing is. I don't blame the person. I blame me. I touched the hot stove hoping for a different outcome.

This time of the year we are often in a heightened realization of our need to be loved, to have company and to be gifted.

Unfortunately, similar to many other things in life, our desire, be it expressed or silent, and the response we get subsequently are often incongruent in timing or inadequate in proportions. Because the desire started within us in the first place we feel it is more rational to blame ourselves. But it's advisable not to let such an outcome cook our goose.

Life is a succession of replacing one wish with another.

Don't slave over a hot stove when someone disappoints you. But I do hear often that your culinary skill melts hearts all over the east coast and across the pond.

 

[Jean4]

This time of the year we are often in a heightened realization of our need to be loved, to have company and to be gifted.

Unfortunately, similar to many other things in life, our desire, be it expressed or silent, and the response we get subsequently are often incongruent in timing or inadequate in proportions. Because the desire started within us in the first place we feel it is more rational to blame ourselves. But it's advisable not to let such an outcome cook our goose.

Life is a succession of replacing one wish with another.

Don't slave over a hot stove when someone disappoints you. But I do hear often that your culinary skill melts hearts all over the east coast and across the pond.

I kill with my cooking. I burn. Not cook lol.

There is a simple solution. Do not wish. If one can't get something as simple as a Merry Christmas from someone who is openly passing them out.... don't wish.

One just needs to accept reality and not live in a fantasy.

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

I kill with my cooking. I burn. Not cook lol.

There is a simple solution. Do not wish. If one can't get something as simple as a Merry Christmas from someone who is openly passing them out.... don't wish.

One just needs to accept reality and not live in a fantasy.

Yep, in the eastern religions, it is often repeated that attachment is the root of suffering.

Are you saying that you are that cook that people refer to when they say, "God sends meat and the devil sends cooks."?

 

[Jean4]

Yep, in the eastern religions, it is often repeated that attachment is the root of suffering.

Are you saying that you are that cook that people refer to when they say, "God sends meat and the devil sends cooks."?

I have been called Satan more than once.

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

I have been called Satan more than once.

Lol, STAN appears in your posts so often that when you called yourself SATAN I had momentary dyslexia and I read it STAN.

 

[Jean4]

Lol, STAN appears in your posts so often that when you called yourself SATAN I had momentary dyslexia and I read it STAN.

Well, Stan in a way is Satan. He told me I wasn't permitted to follow him.... so from beyond the grave he continues to torture me.