Help People who went through rape or sex.assault, how do you cope?

[struggles_inc]

I went through SA three times as a kid.
Still think of that a lot.
It will sound disgusting but for some time I made myself believe I liked it. I still can't deal with the fact that the person responsible was not punished.

 

[Life_and_Death]

anything that might have happened to me as a child i dont remember.
what im currently going through isnt violent so its easy for me to shrug my shoulders its fine

sadly..it seems ive just normalized pain...i really dont advise this method

 

[Old Friend]

I try not to think about it.

 

[until death]

It still hurts today

 

[struggles_inc]

anything that might have happened to me as a child i dont remember.
what im currently going through isnt violent so its easy for me to shrug my shoulders its fine

sadly..it seems ive just normalized pain...i really dont advise this method

I feel like in this situation the trauma would grow like a snowball though. Are you in an abusive relationship?..

It still hurts today

Is it rage or despair? For me the rage burned out and I just feel like something in my brain got broken beyond repair.

 

[misophoned]

I went through a bunch of sa as a kid, but I didn't even know that it counted as sa until I was older. By then, I'd been tortured as well with my chronic misophonia. With the PTSD from the torture and my concern with avoiding noises and the pain they caused, I simply didn't have time to deal with sa trauma. I told myself that I just don't have time to worry about that. I've only had a couple night terrors and felt the same when trying to be intimate with others. Usually I love hugs and stuff, but sometimes I just can't be touched. It's weird and shitty, but most of the time the PTSD and chronic pain overshadow it. So I guess find something that happens to you everyday to try to overshadow it in your thoughts.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Are you in an abusive relationship?

sadly
i know theres different therapies that should help, just be cautious. sometimes they can be retraumatizing

 

[cosmic_traveler]

For me, the idea that every human in the world has the capacity to be the next Hitler or Mother Theresa taught us to carefully analyze people based on their actions rather than words.

You can never change what happened, but you can change your perspective. Force yourself to believe that everything, every person, every action that has ever happened, is beautiful. Force yourself to find the beauty in Hitler. For me, Hitler is a beautiful example of the type or person to NOT be.

I took apart my abuser in my mind. Every word, every action and reaction. Knowing them, "loving" them, has saved us from getting abused again.

To clarify, I never forgave them. I forgave myself for being naive and ignorant.

 

[realname]

Smoke a lot of weed from the time I wake to the time I sleep

 

[Toobrokentofix]

I hate myself and feel repulsive and suicidal most of the time

 

[turbomightbegone]

I've been cocsa'd at a young age,, however so much was going on at the time it happened that I didn't even realise it was such a bad thing until a while ago. so my view might be different

sa, rape,, both are pretty much unforgettable… no matter how hard you try to forget it'll always lurk at the back of your mind

coping with it is pretty limited,, trying to forget about it or distract yourself are two options,, venting/speaking out kinda helps with it too. putting out all of your feelings into something like art or writing is also a way to cope… and I suppose that alcohol/substance usage would help too, although those may come with consequences.

I honestly suggest just speaking to someone about it. it doesn't have to be a therapist,, maybe just someone who you trust… you could also use chat bots if you're alone (c.ai as an example),, it may not make you forget, but at least you'd feel slightly lighter.

I've used a mixture of all the above to try and cope with both cocsa and other traumas,, it does help

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I want to kill myself; I don't want to cope with it anymore, and nothing seems to help enough to make me not want to kill myself to escape that.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I feel like in this situation the trauma would grow like a snowball though. Are you in an abusive relationship?..

Is it rage or despair? For me the rage burned out and I just feel like something in my brain got broken beyond repair.

This is how I feel. Trauma has warped my brain. I experienced SA in high school and I was thrown into a deep depression. I've come full circle guess

 

[returntothevoid]

Hanging with some friends doing stupid shit and laughing. I know generic advice but just being with other people is the only way, unless you do drugs or something. Really any time I remember anything always happens when I'm alone, which I am most of the time.

 

[BarnabasCollins]

Every time I trust someone enough to tell them, they invariably look at and treat me like I'm damaged goods. Some, like my ex wife, use my trauma to win arguments by saying my thoughts aren't valid because PTSD warped my brain. It just becomes a cudgel to be used against me.

I don't trust anyone anymore.

I used to be angry. Anger kept me going. Then it started fading and there was only pain and despair. Alcohol and weed didn't help. Trusting others sure as fuck didn't help. Therapy and medications haven't helped, and some therapy has just re-opened the wounds.

I don't know. All I am is an open wound. As time goes on, I just want it to stop. Hence the suicide ideation.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i love it, when you get a reaction it says "...how do you cope? with hugs"

safe hugs certainly dont hurt

 

[mortuarymary]

i love it, when you get a reaction it says "...how do you cope? with hugs"

safe hugs certainly dont hurt

Safe hugs are lovely xxxxxxxx

 

[restless.dreams]

I try not to think about it. Honestly, I'm not sure the things that happened to me were a big deal or even really SA, but I avoid intimacy now. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about it, unfortunately.

 

[Lily_bun]

I was groomed as a minor was shown some awful stuff to try and show that it's normal to sleep with a minor than later on in my life had an SA incident ended up just freezing up and not being able to do anything about it. Now I struggle with people touching me unless asked or I initiate it. Honestly I still blame myself for freezing up and I hate myself for being so weak. It destroyed me and now all I want is to CTB.

 

[rileywatson]

i just sorta keep on going. I think about it less as time goes on.

 

[Unattainable666]

I don't ever think about it EVER. I've made myself believe it never happened

 

[spring vainglory]

honestly, i forget it ever happened and cope through hentai. the genres that hit closest to home with my traumas are the ones i enjoy the most, its truly a cathartic feeling.
in relationships sex has become rather important to me, i think ive become hypersexual from the trauma to some extent.

i guess my mind is still trying to take back the control.

 

[mortuarymary]

I don't ever think about it EVER. I've made myself believe it never happened

Same here.

 

[B4mbi]

Well it's all my fault that it happened apparently, just like everything else.

 

[Toobrokentofix]

What happened to me when I was 4 can't have been my fault because I was 4! But the rest of it definitely was. I repeatedly put myself into vulnerable places. I don't think I will ever stop believing I am a worthless, evil whore even though I haven't had any sexual encounters for years and non with anyone but my husband (now ex) in over 20 years. My mind boggles how I can't get over it, forgive myself, let it go. But I have tried and I really can't. The memories hit me in the face at seemly random times and I dont believe that it will ever go away

 

[Next]

Well it's all my fault

Thats not true. Rape is always a crime. Having sex together the stronger partner has to take care for the other. If he did not and it brings you here it is murder.

 

[HowlerFlamingpaws]

Ever since it happened, I refuse to undress around people. I might not actively think about it everyday, but at least once every few weeks, it'll pop up in my nightmares. I'm asexual now, no desire to have sex no matter what. I'd rather break up with my partner, be homeless and alone than have sex with someone. And the worst is, no one believes me because "you're a guy, how could you be raped? You can't rape the willing, lol." Like, guys can still be penetrated against their will.

 

[restless.dreams]

Well it's all my fault that it happened apparently, just like everything else.

It's not your fault. I promise <3

And the worst is, no one believes me because "you're a guy, how could you be raped?

I believe you.

 

[Linda]

What happened to me when I was 4 can't have been my fault because I was 4! But the rest of it definitely was. I repeatedly put myself into vulnerable places. I don't think I will ever stop believing I am a worthless, evil whore even though I haven't had any sexual encounters for years and non with anyone but my husband (now ex) in over 20 years. My mind boggles how I can't get over it, forgive myself, let it go. But I have tried and I really can't. The memories hit me in the face at seemly random times and I dont believe that it will ever go away

You won't ever get over it completely. But you may be able to find a way of living so that it doesn't matter so much. I found my own way, but I can't offer you any advice on how to do that. Everyone's situation is different.

 

[dragonofenvy]

With time I learned to bury it. A few years afterward - I'm not sure what happened to cause it - it began causing me issues again. I unfortunately wasn't allowed to talk about it to mental health professionals even though it was the catalyst for my hospitalization. Still not allowed to today. Reprimanded for it even. It still causes problems, and burying ain't a good cope, but I've managed since it's the only thing I was able to. I guess time lets it be buried even deeper. I wish there was something else to do about it.