First of all, I think it's great that you are able to recognize the thoughts that you're having for what they are, and that you are open and willing to seek help. That's not an easy thing to do, so kudos.
I've tried my fair share of antidepressants, and in my experience there are both pros and cons to taking them, but ultimately it really just depends on the individual, as cliche as that sounds. Some people respond well to Prozac (fluoxetine), for example, but it made me even more suicidal than I already was to begin with. As another example, Zoloft (sertraline) can lower a person's libido, but I've noticed no significant change in that department. I've been taking Zoloft since I was about 14, and for quite a while it made life a little more bearable, which was nice, but now I just take it mainly so that I don't get brain zaps (which can happen after reducing/increasing the dose too quickly or coming off SSRIs entirely, and are highly unpleasant). It's definitely important for me to note, though, that I have a grocery list of issues, so the Zoloft (and antidepressants in general, it seems) can only do so much for me, as time and experience have unfortunately shown. This is by no means the case for everyone – lots of people find medications that work for them, and they can be an absolute life-changer in that regard.
A couple of other antidepressants I've tried that aren't SSRIs/SNRIs, for example: I tried mirtazapine for a while and it did absolutely nothing for me. I gained a little bit of weight when I took it, but nothing too bad. I've also been taking Trazodone for about 6 months now, but it was prescribed for me to help me sleep, and not primarily as an antidepressant, but for a brief amount of time, life was a little more bearable. That might have something to do with the fact that I was simply sleeping a lot better than before, but I also don't want to discount what might have been the antidepressant component of the drug in action. Unfortunately it didn't last very long (which seems to be the pattern with me... sob), but so far I've had a pretty good experience with it overall, especially considering the fact that my body/brain have repeatedly shown to be generally unresponsive to treatment in the long run.
Of course, these are just a few of my own experiences and I'm in no way implying that this is how it's been for other people, or how it would be for you. It's just my two cents. :)
As for therapy, that can also work wonders for a person, especially in combination with medication, if that's necessary, and obviously if the medication is effective. And, like it was mentioned above, you can talk about being suicidal with a health professional without having to worry too much about being involuntarily hospitalized. Unless you tell them that you're actively planning to take your life or intend to do so in the near future, I highly doubt that they will section you. I've even told a few therapists in the past that I have the feeling that I'll end up killing myself at some point in life, but because I wasn't actively planning it, they didn't put me in the psych ward. The main thing that they're worried about is whether or not you are at immediate risk to being "a danger to yourself or others".
Again, I can't stress enough that personal circumstances are extremely important to take into account when reading about other people's experiences, and I would encourage anyone to give recovery a try, if they haven't already, and are in the position to do so (as I understand very well that there can be quite a few barriers as far as accessibility is concerned, whether they're personal, financial, or systematic in nature).
Definitely educate yourself, listen to your doctor and most importantly, take however you're feeling seriously, and try to give yourself credit where it's due (which I know is a lot easier said than done). And if something doesn't work for you, then there's absolutely no shame in trying something else if that's what you wish to do and are able to do so. If for whatever reason it doesn't work out for you, at least you can say you gave it your best. Regardless of what happens, you have a community on SS who is here and willing to support you, if that's something you want or need, and my inbox is open.
From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best of luck, my friend. :)
