People treating you like a half human

[Dyingsoon]

Are people really that evil? Even your closest ones, your family start to drift off and treat you like shit once you become disabled in a way? Is this only happening to me? Why are people so cruel? People that I was giving my world about, are now the ones who are harassing me and treating me like a second hand human. They only think about themselves and how my disability will affect even a little portion of their lives and they are not able to sacrifice that. And now when I come to think of all I have done for them and I was nothing but good and caring when it came to family.


Hence my resolution is to ctb before Christmas. The torture I have been dealing with has no limits and is just not treatable in any way. Everything that made me human has been taken away from me and I am not enduring this any longer. I hope N does its magic and I die peacefully as they say. I think I am just going to rent an AIR BNB somewhere nearby and get it over with. My parents already know I am on the edge and I tried to prepare them. They have seen what this disease have done to me and I am sure they will understand me someday. I am also willing to donate whatever organs I have in a good shape so I can help someone that desperately wants to live. I guess I will not need them where I am going.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's not surprising in any way how people are that cruel, it's just the way that many people are, they are very self centred and don't care in any way about how others suffer. But to me it's awful how often people can just make things worse for others and treat them in such a way that they don't deserve. It does sound really horrible what you are going through, it really is such a cruel existence that brings people to this point, but I really do envy those who have N, to me that sounds like the best method. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

How did you get N when there is no N around to be gotten? N hasn't been attainable since long before you joined SaSu.

 

[Wannagonow]

How did you get N when there is no N around to be gotten? N hasn't been attainable since long before you joined SaSu.

Good point.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Good point.

Hey, it's possible that they did. Maybe they were a lurker here before they joined and they found out that way, or maybe it's more freely available where they live. I'd just like to hear the explanation.

 

[Dyingsoon]

To be honest, my only intention to post this was to vent and receive some support eventually. Instead, I feel like I am being interrogated and doubted for my words. I did not even feel like replying to you guys but since this raised such a big concern - if you click on my profile and see my first posts, you will find out my N is from D when he was still operating.

I am sorry you have been brought to this site on the first place, it surely must be a struggle for you since you are here. But this is not the right attitude. I am between life and death and just wanted some kind words. So please for the future if you can't say something good please don't say anything at all.

 

[Winterreise]

Maybe not treated like a halfhuman, but like a stranger.

 

[mateodolores]

I know the feeling. People only really care about themselves and being disabled is a "burden" on them because they can't conceptualize your chronic, seemingly neverending pain.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I consider you kinda lucky to have N. Not urging you to do anything, but I'm kinda envious.

 

[Dyingsoon]

Maybe not treated like a halfhuman, but like a stranger.

I think both.

I know the feeling. People only really care about themselves and being disabled is a "burden" on them because they can't conceptualize your chronic, seemingly neverending pain.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I consider you kinda lucky to have N. Not urging you to do anything, but I'm kinda envious.

You describe it correctly. Once you become a burden, people will act like animals, they will exclude you from the pack. Only the strongest should survive.

It is a shame we have been brought to the point where we will envy another person for having a method to kill themselves. No pun intended, it is just so sad - instead of living our youth we are stuck here wondering when the last straw will be when we cannot take it anymore.

 

[Winterreise]

There seem to be no time to rest , or take care of each other.

 

[Walilamdzii]

A lot of people have written me off and I take rejection very hard, I feel that people are rejecting me before they even know me at all. It makes me want to not really let anyone in.

 

[Resinn66]

We are no different from animals

 

[pipapo]

people can be harsh

 

[brokensea]

To be honest, my only intention to post this was to vent and receive some support eventually. Instead, I feel like I am being interrogated and doubted for my words. I did not even feel like replying to you guys but since this raised such a big concern - if you click on my profile and see my first posts, you will find out my N is from D when he was still operating.

I am sorry you have been brought to this site on the first place, it surely must be a struggle for you since you are here. But this is not the right attitude. I am between life and death and just wanted some kind words. So please for the future if you can't say something good please don't say anything at all.

I'm so sorry when people are struggling and talk about it so many posts just ask where they got their stuff at. It really makes me cringe.

I'm so sorry you're being treated that way. I wish I knew what to say. There's so few good humans out there and so many bad ones. It's never a reflection on the kindness or love you should be receiving. We just don't seem to cultivate good qualities in our world and when you do have them people take advantage and hurt you at best. So sorry you're suffering and feel this way.

 

[Dyingsoon]

I'm so sorry when people are struggling and talk about it so many posts just ask where they got their stuff at. It really makes me cringe.

I'm so sorry you're being treated that way. I wish I knew what to say. There's so few good humans out there and so many bad ones. It's never a reflection on the kindness or love you should be receiving. We just don't seem to cultivate good qualities in our world and when you do have them people take advantage and hurt you at best. So sorry you're suffering and feel this way.

Yeah. I do understand why they ask but on the other hand you know how that looks when someone is suffering.

There are a small minority of people left who are actually PEOPLE and loyalty is beyond everything and they will not leave you no matter what. Unfortunately, they are going extinct and these virtues are unheard by kids nowadays. Almost no one there to teach them. Loyalty is bigger than love, life has taught me that, the hard way of course.

 

[brokensea]

Yeah. I do understand why they ask but on the other hand you know how that looks when someone is suffering.

There are a small minority of people left who are actually PEOPLE and loyalty is beyond everything and they will not leave you no matter what. Unfortunately, they are going extinct and these virtues are unheard by kids nowadays. Almost no one there to teach them. Loyalty is bigger than love, life has taught me that, the hard way of course.

Yes, I love this. I'm so loyal and I swear I've never met one human in my life who is as loyal as me and actually there for people for the long haul. It's really lonely and you feel like somethings wrong with you that people are so insincere and you seem to be the only one who isn't.

 

[ever so lonely]

had this everywhere i go too, it is the main reason i am where i am, suicidal and done with existence, so relatable this, sorry your going through it op, i wish you love and peace

 

[godhelpme313]

Isn't it that other people, by virtue of belonging to the living, feel they have a commitment to protect the life of others? I realized this was true and the formula became "nobody of the living will ever help you with death." It is a rigged partial jury, isn't it? They've already taken their position long before you reveal anything to them.