Venting People telling me not to kill myself feels redundant

[HeartThatFeeds]

My friends keep telling me not to kill myself because my partner "wouldn't want me to" when he quite literally took his own life.

Yes I know he wouldn't want me to die because of course he wouldn't. But he also died from suicide, he broke his promise of saying he won't do it because he needs to take care of me, so why should I listen?

I know it may sounds bitter, because it is. I am mad that he died from his attempt because he just left me here and expected me to deal with it and be fine with his death, and yes I know that's how mental health works, and I know he wasn't thinking about it and just thought I'd be fine, but it won't make me feel less upset over it.

I just wish people wouldn't bring up the fact he "wouldn't want me to", I didn't want him to die, but he did. I know they don't mean anything by it, but it doesn't help. Sooner or later it's going to happen by my hands or not.

 

[dontlook]

I'm sorry you're struggling

In the end, we don't know what he may or may not have been thinking in his last moments. I kind of relate to the situation. Sometimes I think it would be better for my partner to kill herself as well because honestly our outlooks are looking incredibly grim. I want her to be able to be happy- of course I want that. But, like for me, I really don't know if that can happen. If I kill myself and she can't find happiness I wouldn't want her to suffer. I just wish we could go together.

 

[Mooseanonsky]

What are they supposed to say? Good Friends and loved ones aren't gonna encourage you to do that. All they can do is tell you not to do it. I imagine they're gonna be mad at you if you decide to CTB too like you are with your partner. Suicide is inherently selfish.

All they can offer are platitudes, unfortunately.

 

[HeartThatFeeds]

What are they supposed to say? Good Friends and loved ones aren't gonna encourage you to do that. All they can do is tell you not to do it. I imagine they're gonna be mad at you if you decide to CTB too like you are with your partner. Suicide is inherently selfish.

All they can offer are platitudes, unfortunately.

I don't expect them to encourage me of course, it's just incredibly frustrating when people tell me not to do it specifically because of him, I just wish they would stop telling me not to for him, like it even matters atp

I'm sorry you're struggling

In the end, we don't know what he may or may not have been thinking in his last moments. I kind of relate to the situation. Sometimes I think it would be better for my partner to kill herself as well because honestly our outlooks are looking incredibly grim. I want her to be able to be happy- of course I want that. But, like for me, I really don't know if that can happen. If I kill myself and she can't find happiness I wouldn't want her to suffer. I just wish we could go together.

I understand how you feel, before all this I was already immensely struggling with my mental health and contemplating suicide, I didn't exactly think any good would of come from it, I was just in a very bad place and was having to constant put my own mental health aside to be there for my partner

For his last moments, I'm not sure, I don't think he wanted to die because he was willing to get help, just the ambulance didn't get there up in time as he never called one and instead insisted on getting a ride from his roomate, it was nothing more than not having enough time, I just wish he was still here so I wouldn't have to go through this