People on this site have helped me MORE than any counselor.... What about You all?

[purplemoon]

Hi, I'm still suicidal in my mind's background (& certainly instantly if/when horrible things happen) but after only being on here about a week, I'm actually really surprised as to my feelings of Slightly more resilience and DEFINITELY feeling less alone. Ironically this site has made me feel LESS SUICIDAL!! Wow!!! I don't feel judged or criticized, I feel more supported in the sense that my pain and my feelings of desperation have been validated and I don't feel surrounded by people that have perfect or really good lives that would act like i'm 'weird' and thus feel rejected.
People here have helped me by being themselves, sharing their feelings and experiences, and being kind and caring. If my own family (most of which I have either disowned because they were physically or emotionally abusive) was even halfway as supportive, or if the others had not abandoned me, I don't know that i would be so suicidal. Maybe, but not necessarily. I've been to shrinks (PhD, MA, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, DV specialists, PTSD so-called specialists) and None of them have helped me on iota. All i get is medicated into oblivion (not much help as a zombie) or they say to use a journal (seriously?!) and tried a bunch of techniques that do absolutely nothing for me. zero help.

When people (anyone, not just on here) do the Rare event of actually caring without requiring money and/or they are compassionate and KIND... I don't feel as desperate and I don't hate this planet and species as much. It's like a small glimmer of hope in the darkness.

What about you all? What do you think?

 

[RedAlert]

I'm just here for the methods, opinions, information and using my fellow man as much as possible. Sure there are 'nice' people here, but in the end i just can't see myself trusting anyone here...But that's good that you find this place helpful in coping, especially with your suicidal thoughts that's great!

 

[Empty Smile]

I'm just here for the methods, opinions, information and using my fellow man as much as possible. Sure there are 'nice' people here, but in the end i just can't see myself trusting anyone here...But that's good that you find this place helpful in coping, especially with your suicidal thoughts that's great!

I don't think it's the issue of trusting someone here or not. I don't trust anyone here or irl.

I think it's more of being able to open up and talk, and not being downgraded or laughed at for your issues, kind of like what normal people do to us.

I think in a way, some folks here have decided to give it another go because of reassuring words and comments that they received from this user base. Either that or they realized some of us are crazier than them!!

 

[Stan]

I'm just here for the methods, opinions, information and using my fellow man as much as possible. Sure there are 'nice' people here, but in the end i just can't see myself trusting anyone here...But that's good that you find this place helpful in coping, especially with your suicidal thoughts that's great!

So I take it you are not going to loan me all that money you promised me then?

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I wouldn't say people here helped me more than my therapist. To be honest, I'm not sure who did a better job. Being here did help, though, that's a fact. I'm not sure how. Perhaps it's seeing that I'm not fucked up alone. I've seen people who I'd like to hang out with in my spare time, though I would also have to teach those people how to deal with me during a seizure, and I'd have to expose myself to those people.
Not drop my pants, no, just hang out with them on a slightly increasing "dose", i.e. first "date"* - half an hour, second "date"* forty minutes, etc etc.
I'd say the biggest problem I have with this forum is that there aren't too many people from Israel. There are many people here I would honestly like to befriend.
Being one of the only... what, three people from Israel? That's the only thing I dislike about this place.

*By "date" I mean hang out with them IRL.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Hi, I'm still suicidal in my mind's background (& certainly instantly if/when horrible things happen) but after only being on here about a week, I'm actually really surprised as to my feelings of Slightly more resilience and DEFINITELY feeling less alone. Ironically this site has made me feel LESS SUICIDAL!! Wow!!! I don't feel judged or criticized, I feel more supported in the sense that my pain and my feelings of desperation have been validated and I don't feel surrounded by people that have perfect or really good lives that would act like i'm 'weird' and thus feel rejected.
People here have helped me by being themselves, sharing their feelings and experiences, and being kind and caring. If my own family (most of which I have either disowned because they were physically or emotionally abusive) was even halfway as supportive, or if the others had not abandoned me, I don't know that i would be so suicidal. Maybe, but not necessarily. I've been to shrinks (PhD, MA, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, DV specialists, PTSD so-called specialists) and None of them have helped me on iota. All i get is medicated into oblivion (not much help as a zombie) or they say to use a journal (seriously?!) and tried a bunch of techniques that do absolutely nothing for me. zero help.

When people (anyone, not just on here) do the Rare event of actually caring without requiring money and/or they are compassionate and KIND... I don't feel as desperate and I don't hate this planet and species as much. It's like a small glimmer of hope in the darkness.

What about you all? What do you think?

Yeah, this website sure has helped me with my problems sure therapy also help me to some extend but in some cases even though I did have a really good therapist I sometimes feel like it's a waste of time though in terms of going to a therapist sure it is a good support network but I am more concerned about having a wife and kids not certain if that'll happen.

 

[Orin]

Hi, I'm still suicidal in my mind's background (& certainly instantly if/when horrible things happen) but after only being on here about a week, I'm actually really surprised as to my feelings of Slightly more resilience and DEFINITELY feeling less alone. Ironically this site has made me feel LESS SUICIDAL!! Wow!!! I don't feel judged or criticized, I feel more supported in the sense that my pain and my feelings of desperation have been validated and I don't feel surrounded by people that have perfect or really good lives that would act like i'm 'weird' and thus feel rejected.
People here have helped me by being themselves, sharing their feelings and experiences, and being kind and caring. If my own family (most of which I have either disowned because they were physically or emotionally abusive) was even halfway as supportive, or if the others had not abandoned me, I don't know that i would be so suicidal. Maybe, but not necessarily. I've been to shrinks (PhD, MA, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, DV specialists, PTSD so-called specialists) and None of them have helped me on iota. All i get is medicated into oblivion (not much help as a zombie) or they say to use a journal (seriously?!) and tried a bunch of techniques that do absolutely nothing for me. zero help.

When people (anyone, not just on here) do the Rare event of actually caring without requiring money and/or they are compassionate and KIND... I don't feel as desperate and I don't hate this planet and species as much. It's like a small glimmer of hope in the darkness.

What about you all? What do you think?

I feel the same. It's like reverse psychology hehe. And i'm sincerely glad you seem to be on the road to recovery. Good luck my friend and don't hesitate to tell us of your progress.

 

[purplemoon]

thank you everyone!
i know i will slip back completely into wanting escape for the rest of my life... but what seems to help me is when it's not too much to bear or cope.
this society is rich yet It's own citizens suffer immeasurably because of some greedy people at the top that control how the laws work. People are already struggling because of unfairness in job wages usually, medical care not being accessible or affordable most of the time, although a lot of medical care isn't even decent quality half the time, and too many rich corporations are allowed to dictate the law and dictate the people their worth or value.
That really has to change. But will it ever?

People are under way too much pressure.
I think that's why many people feel pushed over the edge too quickly or too easily.

Then the people that make decisions in our society either don't care, or they don't listen!!

it makes me both sad and mad because all of us are clearly suffering, and millions out there as well, and other people who do have power usually don't do anything to help. They should do more than the minimum, it's incredible when people that don't have any power actually help people like us much more than those are supposedly responsible.
To me, it's like being a symbolic principal of a school and then doing absolutely nothing to actually listen to the metaphorical students and the teachers that are saying that they're really struggling and then doing absolutely nothing to change the system & just criticizing their reactions to the environment that's unhealthy and damaging.

instead of those in authority humiliating or neglecting those who are reacting to a stressful environment and overwhelming life conditions, why don't they help change the stressful environment?
Obviously when people are hurting, they need support, not criticism. Why is that so hard for some people to understand out there in the world? Before they try to judge anyone, they should ask them selves how they would feel if they felt sad and desperate and exhausted and someone just criticized them? and then what's even more frustrating, is when people say there's help out there. Seriously? Where? I'm sure there are exceptions somewhere out there, but I've spent years and years searching for a decent counselor, I found only a few occasional true and trustworthy friends, and still have never found a husband that's actually not abusive or at least faithful that isn't just around when everything is perfect.
Or the stupidest Most unrealistic response I've heard: "why don't you just think positive?" It's like really?!? I've been trying that for years, that's not how the brain works, that's not how the nervous system works, it's not that simple. If it was so easy, then we would've already done it. I mean today tell someone who's in the midst of a war zone to just think positive? Or even if it's not quite as severe as that, in the middle of dangerous situation, to just change their thinking? That's not even reality.

People react to the damage that's been done to them, and people react to what is in their environment.

If we don't have our basic human needs met, how can we expected to handle additional damage, trauma, huge stressors, on top of everything else ?

People here seem to generally do the opposite: they offer more kindness and any counselor shrink I've ever seen. As soon as I run out of money in the past, they could care less. So why would I trust that person with all of my feelings? I mean do we really have to just pay people to care in the society now? The people here care more and people here seem to generally do the opposite: they offer more kindness than any counselor shrink I've ever seen. As soon as I ran out of money or payments in the past, they could care less. So why would I trust that person with all of my feelings? I mean do we really have to just pay people to pretend to care in the society now?!?

The people on here care way more than the fake people who claim to, so it seems.

Anyway, I just want to thank everyone again and tell you that whatever your situation is, I hope that you have as much peace and comfort as possible.

I wouldn't say people here helped me more than my therapist. To be honest, I'm not sure who did a better job. Being here did help, though, that's a fact. I'm not sure how. Perhaps it's seeing that I'm not fucked up alone. I've seen people who I'd like to hang out with in my spare time, though I would also have to teach those people how to deal with me during a seizure, and I'd have to expose myself to those people.
Not drop my pants, no, just hang out with them on a slightly increasing "dose", i.e. first "date"* - half an hour, second "date"* forty minutes, etc etc.
I'd say the biggest problem I have with this forum is that there aren't too many people from Israel. There are many people here I would honestly like to befriend.
Being one of the only... what, three people from Israel? That's the only thing I dislike about this place.

*By "date" I mean hang out with them IRL.

I think I understand. And hey, I like people from Israel, I've only met a few but they're all fascinating and were very nice.

Here's some Love from America to Israel

 

[After The End]

This site has been of no real help.

 

[clownangel]

Came here for yknow, the guts of the site after scrolling elsewhere but tbh just poking around in off topic & recovery sections has been really nice even if I don't have much to say. (I browse a lot late at night when I can't sleep, it's all MUCH more calming/comforting than me frantically researching on my own, for sure even in methods threads.)

Definitely something to be said about having a judgement-free zone so to speak where people can semi-comfortably talk about shit that I'm assuming most of us can't IRL even with a therapist & relate to one another even if we don't have much else in common. (Plus, the "kind to jackass ratio" here vs. most other spots on the Internet is refreshing. Even if someone is having a rough time here the majority isn't outwardly cruel towards others, it's really nice especially when I can barely log in other spots without getting screamed at about whatever.)

 

[Rachel74]

I came here looking for a way out and I found it but you know what the more I'm here the more I can advise and help. I'm not in a hurry to CTB, I have my drug of choice so I'll stay here until I can't go on. I've made friends and some great conversations a few arguments but SS is a choice. I don't agree with what some are on here for but if it helps them then so be it.

 

[Lydia]

I agree, very much so. When I started here I couldn't see a way out at all. I met someone on here and we were initially going to partner up and... however, life happened and things changed. But over time I got to know the person and I've never opened up to someone and been 100% truthful with anyone before them, although we are now not in contact sometimes people temporarily come into your life and all you can do is appreciate them and the way they bring light into your life. X

 

[stellabelle]

I love your moon photo.
Honestly going to counseling weekly helps so much, and I've been referred to another therapist on top of it because I have so much trauma to deal with. There's a new treatment for trauma survivors that I would really like to sign up for. They say there are good results.

Being able to come here and post on occasion helps as well.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

There's a new treatment for trauma survivors that I would really like to sign up for. They say there are good results.

What is the new treatment? I try to keep up with the treatments for trauma/PTSD but I might have missed one. Is it MDMA assisted therapy? I'm really hopeful for that since nothing has helped me with ptsd/trauma recovery. It's still in clinical trials I believe but I read it will be available in the next year or 2.

 

[stellabelle]

What is the new treatment? I try to keep up with the treatments for trauma/PTSD but I might have missed one. Is it MDMA assisted therapy? I'm really hopeful for that since nothing has helped me with ptsd/trauma recovery. It's still in clinical trials I believe but I read it will be available in the next year or 2.

I can't remember the word but it starts with neuro. I'll get back to you on it. It's something with a wire on the head and several sessions of treatment.

 

[Susannah]

Hi, I'm still suicidal in my mind's background (& certainly instantly if/when horrible things happen) but after only being on here about a week, I'm actually really surprised as to my feelings of Slightly more resilience and DEFINITELY feeling less alone. Ironically this site has made me feel LESS SUICIDAL!! Wow!!! I don't feel judged or criticized, I feel more supported in the sense that my pain and my feelings of desperation have been validated and I don't feel surrounded by people that have perfect or really good lives that would act like i'm 'weird' and thus feel rejected.
People here have helped me by being themselves, sharing their feelings and experiences, and being kind and caring. If my own family (most of which I have either disowned because they were physically or emotionally abusive) was even halfway as supportive, or if the others had not abandoned me, I don't know that i would be so suicidal. Maybe, but not necessarily. I've been to shrinks (PhD, MA, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, DV specialists, PTSD so-called specialists) and None of them have helped me on iota. All i get is medicated into oblivion (not much help as a zombie) or they say to use a journal (seriously?!) and tried a bunch of techniques that do absolutely nothing for me. zero help.

When people (anyone, not just on here) do the Rare event of actually caring without requiring money and/or they are compassionate and KIND... I don't feel as desperate and I don't hate this planet and species as much. It's like a small glimmer of hope in the darkness.

What about you all? What do you think?

I totally agree. I love this site, and the people I've "met" in here. I would even claim that some PM conversations I've had with wonderful and caring persons have saved my life.

 

[purplemoon]

I love your moon photo.
Honestly going to counseling weekly helps so much, and I've been referred to another therapist on top of it because I have so much trauma to deal with. There's a new treatment for trauma survivors that I would really like to sign up for. They say there are good results.

Being able to come here and post on occasion helps as well.

i'm glad you found something that helps you. I've tried for so many years to find a decent counselor, out of so many I only found one that was OK –-ish. I'm not totally against the idea of trying again, I just don't put much faith in them anymore. Speaking of trauma, I've also researched and reflected on my own symptoms and correlations with very Trumatic experiences such as surviving domestic violence from both my father and an ex fiancé, car accident injuries that were not my fault caused by a complete jerk, and being abandoned by my own family… The reactions from one's nervous system and the changes that happen in the limbic system in the brain are also physical injuries and have physical effects. I don't know about you, but I get really exhausted with some people acting like it's just all mental or just a choice, or it's a matter of willpower. Clearly it's not, if it were that easy, why would I want to keep suffering? I don't. It's like any little added stress feels like a 1,000,000 tons crashing down on top of me that I just cannot cope with. I've tried all the theories out there, what people think will help or work, and not much really works for very long, at least for me. I think that's another reason why suicide has always been what I think of instantly the majority of my life, because I've tried every so-called solution. It just feels like a Band-Aid. What I wish would happen more in the society, or any society really , is for people with power and authority to have more compassion and understand what people are trying to endure and survive, and at least for most people like me, we would like more support and help, so that we can try to feel better Or somehow get our life to be more manageable or even livable.
Suicide is a very sad and tragic catastrophe that shows that someone is overwhelmed by life and doesn't have enough within themselves or enough resources around them.
It's really easy for so many people to stand back when they're not suffering what we're suffering and say will just do this, or just do that. Not really realistic.
That's another reason why I really like a lot of people on this board because they understand, they get it.

You all understand me and I understand you.

HUGS TO ALL

I totally agree. I love this site, and the people I've "met" in here. I would even claim that some PM conversations I've had with wonderful and caring persons have saved my life.

I understand what you're saying, I even think this something similar is happened on here for me to at least once, and actually delayed my decision to ctb . Right now I'm feeling undecided but fragile.
When I get to that moment where I just can't take anymore, it feels like someone's torturing me and I just can't wait even one more minute to escape the overwhelming pain.
For now, I'm just trying to figure out what I will do ctb method if it gets to be too much again, which I guess could happen at any day.
But you're right, some of the conversations on here can be so kind and supportive, but actually can elicit a little bit of faith in humanity again, which feels like a relief to me too.

I love your moon photo.
Honestly going to counseling weekly helps so much, and I've been referred to another therapist on top of it because I have so much trauma to deal with. There's a new treatment for trauma survivors that I would really like to sign up for. They say there are good results.

Being able to come here and post on occasion helps as well.

By the way, like someone else on here briefly inquired, what are these new treatments you mentioned that you think might help PTSD?

Is it EMDR? Have you tried one that you think is helping your PTSD?

PTSD for me, with too many traumas heaped one on top of the other and violence and physical injuries especially, have a literally ruined my life and altered my brain and my neuro chemistry, I even jump and get startled at a fly buzzing by, my whole system is constantly terrified.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Absolutely. Couselors memorize books and give us that information. Here we all are living it! And it makes me sad that there are so many if us here but I think it's a place to come and talk without having to hide anything or be afraid. It's. Place where you can be free. I've also gotten some great tips if you know what I mean and I think you did haha.

 

[eve2004]

This site has given me the support I don't get from my therapist and psychiatrist. Sure, they're busy but even in-session they seem irritated to see me and are hypocrites offering me support and when I meed/ask for it, I'm told they are too busy. What is someone like me supposed to think?! I have no one now I trust so my new project is working out the logistics in every way possible to CTB ASAP . I've met a few people here who have been very supportive to me with their kind words, "likes" and acceptance.

Had I not found this place I'm quite sure I would have either CTB'd and succeeded (unlikely) or CTB'd and failed and was in pain (likely).

I have never been so motivated to work on my CTB logostics than now, even though some days I can't get out of bed. "Materials " are costly and I am happy to eat frozen vegetables in order to save up enough. I'd be doing that anyway out of laziness.

I would never tell them to their face but part of my motivation stems from their lack of sincerity and empty promises to help. It's not the core reason but it has now pushed me over the edge.

(For the record: I have in the past stated that they are great but recently things have taken a downhill turn during the sessions and I have no where else to turn to. The only hope I hope is to collect all CTB tools ASAP.. it's the only thing keeping me going)

Those of you who do have therapists and psychiatrists you can rely on, please don't take it for granted, it's like winning the lottery to find a reliable one. Even if you're seeing them "temporarily" till you CTB. And if you are, I hope it soothes you until you're ready.

For therapists and psychiatrists lurking out there... You have no idea what your words can do and mean to a very vulnerable person. We can sense your vibe because a lot of us are more sensitive to these things than the average person. If you feel frustrated or impatient, we know it. You then just become another obstacle in our lives.

 

[Mynameisnotimportant]

I have only been to two counselors and I hated them both. People on here are just way better

 

[purplemoon]

I have only been to two counselors and I hated them both. People on here are just way better

It's ridiculous how so many counselors, psychologists, and especially psychiatrists are often rude, greedy, non-compassionate, and sometimes idiotic. Very few are actually competent and caring.

 

[Ruffian]

I have no idea why most psychiatrists chose to work in their fields. Do they make more than most doctors? They have the worst personalities for the most part. I've never seen anyone post on here they like their psychiatrist. Therapists are a different story, but even they are a roll of the dice.