people here with DID?

[amnotreal]

I need a place where it feels safe to talk about the suicidal thoughts but where it is also totally safe to be totally myself and like let all my DID stuff be visible and I almost wish there was a place like this but more specific for people with DID and OSDD or a section but I also suspect not enough people here with DID for that to ever happen and I know that as things become more and more separated it has cons as well as the pros.

I just am feeling so depressed crying and crying and angry and afraid of therapists and psychiatrists and the more I think about suicide the harder and harder it is to reach out for help because psych wards and out patient programs all have been more traumatizing than helpful and more harmful than beneficial and it is like the more "help" i have received from professionals the more I feel like not recovering but also I am a mother and this year my youngest child has become so worried about me dying and I need to recover and be alive for her. but when I can't stop crying and my body is sick and in constant pain it seems like my entire family kids included would be happier and better off without me.

I am too sensitive for this world.

the world doesn't want an autistic person with DID and c-ptsd and endometriosis and all sorts of shit wrong with my colon. The world wants people who are good at thriving in a capitalist competitive world of hard workers who can be like insensitive robots and do as they are told.

I never even know where to post this part for recovery or the other part for planning I always feel in limbo between the two.

Suicide needs to be legal. It needs to be safe to seek help without fear of having ones autonomy taken. The more that happens the more I need to plan and have the means and be ready to act. The more they make it seem like I have to be ready so when I am impulsive I can act and what has kept me alive this long is that I am not an impulsive person.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I don't know those conditions. Sorry.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I don't know those conditions. Sorry.

DID is dissociative identity disorder. It was previously known as multiple personality disorder. The most recent portrayal that I can think of is "Split" - but, really, I find it to be a bit of an offensive/Hollywood-esque portrayal. OSDD is when it's suspected that someone has a dissociative disorder, but it doesn't quite fit into any of the current psychiatric labels. It's a dissociative disorder "otherwise specified" if I recall correctly.

If I'm wrong anyone, please correct me. Thanks.

I need a place where it feels safe to talk about the suicidal thoughts but where it is also totally safe to be totally myself and like let all my DID stuff be visible and I almost wish there was a place like this but more specific for people with DID and OSDD or a section but I also suspect not enough people here with DID for that to ever happen and I know that as things become more and more separated it has cons as well as the pros.

I just am feeling so depressed crying and crying and angry and afraid of therapists and psychiatrists and the more I think about suicide the harder and harder it is to reach out for help because psych wards and out patient programs all have been more traumatizing than helpful and more harmful than beneficial and it is like the more "help" i have received from professionals the more I feel like not recovering but also I am a mother and this year my youngest child has become so worried about me dying and I need to recover and be alive for her. but when I can't stop crying and my body is sick and in constant pain it seems like my entire family kids included would be happier and better off without me.

I am too sensitive for this world.

the world doesn't want an autistic person with DID and c-ptsd and endometriosis and all sorts of shit wrong with my colon. The world wants people who are good at thriving in a capitalist competitive world of hard workers who can be like insensitive robots and do as they are told.

I never even know where to post this part for recovery or the other part for planning I always feel in limbo between the two.

Suicide needs to be legal. It needs to be safe to seek help without fear of having ones autonomy taken. The more that happens the more I need to plan and have the means and be ready to act. The more they make it seem like I have to be ready so when I am impulsive I can act and what has kept me alive this long is that I am not an impulsive person.

I think there are a couple of people on here with DID. I'm really sorry you're suffering so much, my friend. It sounds like you're going through absolute hell.

 

[amnotreal]

DID is dissociative identity disorder. It was previously known as multiple personality disorder. The most recent portrayal that I can think of is "Split" - but, really, I find it to be a bit of an offensive/Hollywood-esque portrayal. OSDD is when it's suspected that someone has a dissociative disorder, but it doesn't quite fit into any of the current psychiatric labels. It's a dissociative disorder "otherwise specified" if I recall correctly.

you are correct and also OSDD has a variation which is basically DID but without time loss. Most movies portray DID as scary and something serial killers or other villains have which is very unfortunate and I think causes more isolation and problems.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

you are correct and also OSDD has a variation which is basically DID but without time loss. Most movies portray DID as scary and something serial killers or other villains have which is very unfortunate and I think causes more isolation and problems.

DID is incredibly misunderstood, along with BPD and schizophrenia

 

[netrezven]

I went trought what you are describing. Finding out about did/osdd helped me understand some parts of it and made it possible to limit the pain. I know this hell very well, so if you are still alive, it means that you are much stronger than anybody else. Internal contact with alters and making deals with them helped me. What did'nt help and turned into a mess - was an internal war/fight, when i even didn't know that did/osdd existed as disorder.

 

[Silver]

I don't have DID but have issues with dissociation sometimes (more so in the past tbh). On another forum I used to go to, I made several DID friends. There are several members here with DID so you're not alone. You can talk freely on this website about feeling or being suicidal. It is pro-choice (up to an individual to decide whether or not they will kill themselves). As for feeling safe here expressing yourself fully as DID you'll have to decide that for yourself. Personally I do not think you will be judged.

DID is dissociative identity disorder. It was previously known as multiple personality disorder. The most recent portrayal that I can think of is "Split" - but, really, I find it to be a bit of an offensive/Hollywood-esque portrayal.

The film Split was maddening to watch :(

 

[muffin222]

I don't have full blown DID, but I have DDNOS-1, dissociative disorder not otherwise specified 1. My personality is fragmented into multiple "parts" with one main "part" (my apparently normal part) which functions as my main personality and enables me to carry out day-to-day tasks. The various other parts switch in and out against my will depending on the day. I have child parts, trauma parts, angry parts, depressed parts, OCD parts, studious parts, promiscuous parts, etc. I also have a suicidal part that urges me to commit suicide or make plans for suicide when the pain becomes unbearable, which leads me to this forum..
I've been like this since age 6 due to severe trauma and abuse while my personality was still developing and integrating. I have autism and C-PTSD as well. I'm so sorry you're suffering like this- you're not alone. People just do not understand the silent hell that dissociative disorders force you to live in every single day. It's agony

I'm also too sensitive for this world- I've said that to myself so many times before.

I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about your experiences with DID

 

[amnotreal]

not so much worry of judging just misunderstanding i guess.

i am having really overwhelming physical pain and talk to a doctor tuesday. but the pain makes my mental health so bad and i don't know how to get help or even diagnosis for whatever is wrong with my colon but it hurts more and more and more every month and i don't want to die but how do i love hurting so bad and then all the did stuff gets worse.

 

[Silver]

You need to find a way to convey how much it hurts to your doctor. Maybe write it down to hand it over for them to read if you're not good at talking about it face to face. You said your DID gets worse with the pain. Do any of your alters experience the same colon pain, or just you?

 

[amnotreal]

the pain effects everyone of us. the kids have less tolerance . the one who has extreme depersonalization and derealization is around much more and it frightens us
the fatigue just is so bad

 

[Broken Chimera]

There are several systems on the forum and I've never seen hate here over it. Most people don't understand it but no one that I know of has been attacked here for it.

DID is dissociative identity disorder. It was previously known as multiple personality disorder. The most recent portrayal that I can think of is "Split" - but, really, I find it to be a bit of an offensive/Hollywood-esque portrayal. OSDD is when it's suspected that someone has a dissociative disorder, but it doesn't quite fit into any of the current psychiatric labels. It's a dissociative disorder "otherwise specified" if I recall correctly.

If I'm wrong anyone, please correct me. Thanks.

You got it right.