Al Cappella
Are we there yet?
- Feb 2, 2022
- 888
It says venting, but is really only a semi-vent. Still. Here's the thing—people are spectacularly ill prepared to handle us suicidal folks and what we're thinking. It's not their fault. No one teaches this stuff, it's not out there nearly enough yet. We are barely past the point cancer was called the "C" word in hushed tones by ordinary people who thought it was contagious. Same thing with the aids epidemic.
Both aids and cancer can now be talked openly about—but not with everyone. You still have to screen. It will, in time, be the same with suicide—it's how these things vector.
Now the venting bit. And ya, it might piss some people off. I'm ok with that. Here's the thing, until we get to that inclusion point where people are more receptive to suicidality we need to figure out a couple of things—unless we enjoy being even more miserable and alone. Some are into that. You know, when I had my first major attempt, after I was discharged from the loony bin, I told my father "Dad, I tried to kill myself". Just matter of factly, not trying to get a reaction, I'm not even really sure why I said anything. I will never forget his reaction "don't you ever say that, don't you ever say that to anyone!"
I was angry, hurt, felt that what I was living was being erased—the whole nine. I spent a lot of years pointlessly blaming. It wasn't his fault, nor was it mine. It isn't about fault. We have to—it sucks, I know—teach people how to deal with us. They simply don't know. Even therapists don't know how to genuinely engage with the topic of suicide. And you know, if we're honest—we don't fucking know how to deal with it. I don't.
But. What doesn't help is going on about this normie or pro-lifer shit as though people are on opposite sides of warring fucking clans. Unless that's what's wanted of course. Because the truth is, half of not being understood is not being able to communicate. The world isn't fair for anyone, we do not have that market cornered. We're all here together, for as long as we got.
Anyway, who the fuck am I to say anything to anyone. I'm nothing special, and obviously don't have much of anything figured out. But what if—just what if—we tried to better help people to understand, so the next batch of poor fuckers coming along won't have quite as hard a time of it?
Both aids and cancer can now be talked openly about—but not with everyone. You still have to screen. It will, in time, be the same with suicide—it's how these things vector.
Now the venting bit. And ya, it might piss some people off. I'm ok with that. Here's the thing, until we get to that inclusion point where people are more receptive to suicidality we need to figure out a couple of things—unless we enjoy being even more miserable and alone. Some are into that. You know, when I had my first major attempt, after I was discharged from the loony bin, I told my father "Dad, I tried to kill myself". Just matter of factly, not trying to get a reaction, I'm not even really sure why I said anything. I will never forget his reaction "don't you ever say that, don't you ever say that to anyone!"
I was angry, hurt, felt that what I was living was being erased—the whole nine. I spent a lot of years pointlessly blaming. It wasn't his fault, nor was it mine. It isn't about fault. We have to—it sucks, I know—teach people how to deal with us. They simply don't know. Even therapists don't know how to genuinely engage with the topic of suicide. And you know, if we're honest—we don't fucking know how to deal with it. I don't.
But. What doesn't help is going on about this normie or pro-lifer shit as though people are on opposite sides of warring fucking clans. Unless that's what's wanted of course. Because the truth is, half of not being understood is not being able to communicate. The world isn't fair for anyone, we do not have that market cornered. We're all here together, for as long as we got.
Anyway, who the fuck am I to say anything to anyone. I'm nothing special, and obviously don't have much of anything figured out. But what if—just what if—we tried to better help people to understand, so the next batch of poor fuckers coming along won't have quite as hard a time of it?