Venting People do normalize this...

[SynthPower]

People often say "what about your family/friends?" Like you need to live and suffer because someone will be crying, once again taking the attention in your life to throw it to another person, like you need to be alive in function of somebody's life. People use us to be their happiness reason, and i get the point on thinking about how your parents/family/friends will be after you CTB, but dude, we need to talk about ourselves, cuz we're the ones who need the attention. They say we are selfish, dumb, freak and whatever.

I'm sorry but i didn't get to choose to be alive, we have the right to be who we want, to do what we want and to not suffer in the pathway, they forced me to live, and so on life needs to be just as i want to.

This may sound crazy but let me tell you, humans treats others as slaves, we don't have access to good things, good life and etc., but humanity could be "perfect", we have the power and tech to do this.

I don't care what others will think, i'm NOT happy and want to rest.

Why People don't think about suicide as an option? Sometimes i am sure i'm crazy cuz it seems like i'm the only one who thinks like that.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

It's an extension of the adage "Suicide doesn't end your pain. It just passes it on to someone else."

There are so many things wrong with that, most notably the idea that we should not be held responsible for the feelings of others with respect to our death.

But as it relates to your comment, anyone who says that ("What about your family/friends?") is focused on their own pain and not yours. They'd rather accuse you of selfishness than acknowledge their own selfishness — caring more about their own feelings rather than yours.

I had a friend use that line on me once. I called him out on it. I asked him if it was fair that I had to continue to live in pain just to appease the feelings of others. I made it clear that each day I continue to survive is an act of selflessness, because I only exist for others. So how many days should I be expected to do that?

He had no answer.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Many people feel that way. Unless you mean specifically your personal life in which case perhaps no one around does indeed, or reveals it. It doesn't make us crazy.

When people only live to spare others pain, that's not really life-affirming. They really are saying "I don't die for my family" which is not the same thing as "I live for my family". It's not sustainable and I don't see how people can have a healthy relationship if that fact is known to everyone.

 

[makethepainstop]

People don't like other's suiciding because if we die, they can't use or labor, get our money, or see and interact with us. It's really selfish on their part they don't especially care about us, just how they can benefit from us if we are alive.

 

[Pluto]

I remember making the same observation years ago. The argument is based on an appeal to emotion of guilt.

For sure, it is ethical to be conscious of the effect on others and take that into account. But it isn't exactly an argument for someone with an utterly unworkable situation to suffer endlessly. It is for you to make your own choice based on a thorough understanding of your options and the natural consequences of whatever you choose.

I had an uncle with bad depression who CTBed at the age of 70, and I don't think anyone supported his decision even under those circumstances. My grandmother, meanwhile, died very slowly in a horrible state of dementia (unable to recognise loved ones, constantly confused, bed-ridden, etc.) age 95 and nobody thought there was anything wrong with the suffering she went through.

It is a damn shame that society's attitude towards this issue is best described as lunacy, leaving us to try and make decisions of this calibre without support or assistance.

 

[A simple aid]

so its quite simple in general....if its society...its basically you cant have every "crybaby" killing themselves...wholl do all the hard work necessary to keep the elite happy....now if its family its selfishness on both parts the family thinks of their loss whatever it may be post your death and you think of the pain you feel pre death....so i always say live in a way best fitting you...cause you care about yourself the most....however if possible think of it like a business deal or math.....if u die you receive absolute neutrality or 0....if you live you have pluses and minuses....id say try to raise the plus and reduce the minuses...which im sure many of you have tried....but i find that the problem doesnt lie in effort but in mindset....

 

[FuneralCry]

Nobody should ever be guilt tripped and feel forced into continuing to endure a life that they never asked for. If someone wishes to leave then there could never be anything wrong with that. The truth is that death and loss are simply inevitable in life, as humans we only exist just to die and be forgotten about anyway. Eventually we will all lose everything no matter what.

Death is the most natural thing ever yet people attach a stigma onto it as it represents what they fear. As humans we are all programmed to survive and this existence is all that we know, and for many who are not suicidal themselves, the thought of someone voluntarily choosing death over life scares them and shatters their delusions that life is always worth living.

I believe that wanting suicide is perfectly rational in a world like this, there is nothing 'crazy' about it, to me it makes sense to want to prevent unnecessary suffering. The crazy ones are the pro suffering people who want to force others to suffer and keep them alive at all costs. The truth is that life is not for everyone and this fact should be respected. Others shouldn't be the ones who decide, what would give them the right to do that as after all they are not living our life.

 

[SamTam33]

When someone says that to me, it let's me know they haven't given any thought to the topic whatsoever. Like my dad.

He tried to use that excuse and just like the other poster, I asked him point blank how many years should I continue to live in pain so everyone else could be happy.

I asked him twice because he was silent the first time. He still wouldn't answer me the second time.

They've put zero thought into it and just repeat those same generic one-liners.

The audacity to implore us to think of others while no one is thinking of us. We have to be concerned with their well-being, but who's concerned with ours?

 

[jackie_boy1337]

Nobody should ever be guilt tripped and feel forced into continuing to endure a life that they never asked for. If someone wishes to leave then there could never be anything wrong with that. The truth is that death and loss are simply inevitable in life, as humans we only exist just to die and be forgotten about anyway. Eventually we will all lose everything no matter what.

Death is the most natural thing ever yet people attach a stigma onto it as it represents what they fear. As humans we are all programmed to survive and this existence is all that we know, and for many who are not suicidal themselves, the thought of someone voluntarily choosing death over life scares them and shatters their delusions that life is always worth living.

I believe that wanting suicide is perfectly rational in a world like this, there is nothing 'crazy' about it, to me it makes sense to want to prevent unnecessary suffering. The crazy ones are the pro suffering people who want to force others to suffer and keep them alive at all costs. The truth is that life is not for everyone and this fact should be respected. Others shouldn't be the ones who decide, what would give them the right to do that as after all they are not living our life.

I've had this conversation with my dad multiple times.

He's a psychologist who thinks that if things get bad enough, suicide is %100 an option for anybody... unless it's me.

This past year he had me stuck in the loony bin for a week, which almost caused me to lose the job I'd just got and put me $20,000 further into debt.

He's so desperate to keep me alive, but isn't interested whatsoever in helping me meet long term goals that would actually improve my life-I'm 27 and still haven't been able to stabilize my life enough to go to school because of a constant, decade-long cascade of bullshit, struggling to make ends meet ect.
HE owns his home, already has an education and a long term career, and a long-term partner to rely on...so of course it's too much to ask for a little perspective on his part.

Complete hypocrisy and complete, utter selfishness IMO.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I want to say initially that I COMPLETELY agree with you. I think it is a real sign of selfless love to let go of someone who is in pain if nothing can be done to help them. I think the problem with this though is that if that 'pain' isn't utterly obvious, it's hard for those around us to see and understand it.

I think it largely comes down to a lack of understanding of how much pain we are in. I imagine that their minds work differently- they could well have had difficulties in life too (very few people get by totally unscathed) but for whatever reason, they have found a way to accept things and get through. They may never have considered CTB, or they may have pulled themselves through numerous bouts of depression.

In whatever case, I think they look at us with a sense of disappointment and maybe even disgust- a kind of 'you just have to get on with life- look at me- I've survived' type thing. Worse even- if they too have suffered, it can be a 'I survived for you so- why can't you do the same?'

I guess what I'm trying to get at is it feels like a kind of balance. I expect most people here are only too acutely aware of the pain and grief they will likely leave behind if they CTB. I think it's the reason so many here are still hanging on. Then, I guess one day, the pain just overrides all those other feelings and the person goes.

To the people around us looking in though- unless the situation is utterly apparent in chronic physical pain or trauma (but bear in mind- if it is your own family who have caused that trauma- they may be unwilling to recognise it)- I expect all they see is someone struggling a bit ('but we all struggle- so what' type thing.) TO THEM I expect the thought of losing you to suicide with all the grief, pain and public shame that will bring likely outweighs someone 'having a bad day.' I think families in particular sometimes want to downplay how screwed up and unhappy we really are because it doesn't reflect well on them.

 

[A simple aid]

I want to say initially that I COMPLETELY agree with you. I think it is a real sign of selfless love to let go of someone who is in pain if nothing can be done to help them. I think the problem with this though is that if that 'pain' isn't utterly obvious, it's hard for those around us to see and understand it.

I think it largely comes down to a lack of understanding of how much pain we are in. I imagine that their minds work differently- they could well have had difficulties in life too (very few people get by totally unscathed) but for whatever reason, they have found a way to accept things and get through. They may never have considered CTB, or they may have pulled themselves through numerous bouts of depression.

In whatever case, I think they look at us with a sense of disappointment and maybe even disgust- a kind of 'you just have to get on with life- look at me- I've survived' type thing. Worse even- if they too have suffered, it can be a 'I survived for you so- why can't you do the same?'

I guess what I'm trying to get at is it feels like a kind of balance. I expect most people here are only too acutely aware of the pain and grief they will likely leave behind if they CTB. I think it's the reason so many here are still hanging on. Then, I guess one day, the pain just overrides all those other feelings and the person goes.

To the people around us looking in though- unless the situation is utterly apparent in chronic physical pain or trauma (but bear in mind- if it is your own family who have caused that trauma- they may be unwilling to recognise it)- I expect all they see is someone struggling a bit ('but we all struggle- so what' type thing.) TO THEM I expect the thought of losing you to suicide with all the grief, pain and public shame that will bring likely outweighs someone 'having a bad day.' I think families in particular sometimes want to downplay how screwed up and unhappy we really are because it doesn't reflect well on them.

Amazing point....very well done and objective...unbiased in its entirety

so its quite simple in general....if its society...its basically you cant have every "crybaby" killing themselves...wholl do all the hard work necessary to keep the elite happy....now if its family its selfishness on both parts the family thinks of their loss whatever it may be post your death and you think of the pain you feel pre death....so i always say live in a way best fitting you...cause you care about yourself the most....however if possible think of it like a business deal or math.....if u die you receive absolute neutrality or 0....if you live you have pluses and minuses....id say try to raise the plus and reduce the minuses...which im sure many of you have tried....but i find that the problem doesnt lie in effort but in mindset....

its not that some people on this site dont understand why suicide is so taboo....its more so they dont care and want to be accepted anyway....funny thing is with all resulting to death as the answer...no one will ever change the thing they cry about cause theyre dead....imagine all the feminists in history killing themselves....today men would be happy( lol....its a relative joke)....they each chose to make things better for the fellow enduring the same things

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

As humans we are all programmed to survive and this existence is all that we know, and for many who are not suicidal themselves, the thought of someone voluntarily choosing death over life scares them and shatters their delusions that life is always worth living.

An excellent point. I agree it's often an internal struggle on their part, too. But I think that's just one aspect of multiple facets simultaneously at play:
- They may feel the need to play "hero" as if they're "saving" you.
- There are deeply rooted societal and religious views that are hard for some people to shake.
- They're afraid of losing you. As natural and inevitable as death is, we almost always mourn the loss of those close to us. I lost my best friend to a terminal illness at 18. It destroyed me, even though I knew he would die.

To the people around us looking in though- unless the situation is utterly apparent in chronic physical pain or trauma… I expect all they see is someone struggling a bit ('but we all struggle- so what' type thing.) TO THEM I expect the thought of losing you to suicide with all the grief, pain and public shame that will bring likely outweighs someone 'having a bad day.'

I think this is a very good point. Even the people who love us most can't necessarily understand the pain we are going through. Some us are even high-functioning and present ourselves to the world as if nothing is wrong. Even when they do see us struggling, they likely can't feel the pain unless they've been through something similar. It must be a challenge for them.