Venting pathetic

[jeoel]

20 years old
165 cm
57 kg
choose to die with knife in heart 2 weeks ago but didn't do it
i got some help from classmates so pain level drops a little
situation now : pathetic
pain level now ; so high
question : i couldn't kill myself with a knife give me a better method ; sn no available
feelings ;
sacred 60 %
pain a lot%
reality ; i don't want to die but i want to stop feeling pain
solution ; die
( Im holding a knife even now but couldn't do it )

 

[makethepainstop]

20 years old
165 cm
57 kg
choose to die with knife in heart 2 weeks ago but didn't do it
i got some help from classmates so pain level drops a little
situation now : pathetic
pain level now ; so high
question : i couldn't kill myself with a knife give me a better method ; sn no available
feelings ;
sacred 60 %
pain a lot%
reality ; i don't want to die but i want to stop feeling pain
solution ; die
( Im holding a knife even now but couldn't do it )

Can you identify any particular things that are causing you pain? Has there been any recent big change(s) in your life? Sometimes many small things can together cause pain. Much love to you and a three minute firm hug.

 

[jeoel]

Can you identify any particular things that are causing you pain? Has there been any recent big change(s) in your life? Sometimes many small things can together cause pain. Much love to you and a three minute firm hug.

many says its bc my mom death 7 years ago but idk
now bc im alone - even if u push me to society tomorrow u will find me alone again
i lost all of my skills , passions , relations , and now im the hoodie short silent boy in class
its so painful to be alone and like that so
i just need to die

 

[SarRy]

Honestly, it sounds like you might be able to do something about being alone, whether that be learning to overcome it or just accept and deal with it. Friends aren't that great anyway. If you can live your life without other people, some might say that's a blessing. Hermits have been a thing. I don't know. Might as well try to figure out your situation before you do something you can't take back.

At any rate, I hope you find peace.

 

[WaveringLight]

I am so glad you did not go through with the knife through your chest. I remember talking to you in general chat, man I'm glad you are here still.

reality ; i don't want to die but i want to stop feeling pain
solution ; die
( Im holding a knife even now but couldn't do it )

It seems like you are at a crossroads on taking ur own life. Is there anything you are longing for? Or will the pain never end?

In any case, I send you my love and you can PM me if you want someone to talk to.

 

[jeoel]

I am so glad you did not go through with the knife through your chest. I remember talking to you in general chat, man I'm glad you are here still.

It seems like you are at a crossroads on taking ur own life. Is there anything you are longing for? Or will the pain never end?

In any case, I send you my love and you can PM me if you want someone to talk to.

for now im just feeling pain
and It drives me crazy
And I noticed that I started self-harm bc of that pain
and am down rating myself in the society
as i said i'm pathetic

 

[Teddybear]

At 20 years of age loneliness is just a passing whim of fate. Give it three times that much and if you are still lonely at 60, then you know for sure you are scr*wed.

Yeah, the pain seems unbearable but trust me, you got time on your side. You just have to hold out and something will come along.

The trick is not to let it slip through your fingers, as I did many times. Some things are worth working for - fighting & love don't really mix well.

At twenty years I thought I knew my life's story down to a T. Now I know I knew nothing.

PS: You are not "pathetic" - take it from a dude who knows what that looks like.

 

[FuneralCry]

Ctb with a knife sounds like an awful way to leave this world, but I do get that being trapped in a situation of endless pain really is so horrific. It's such a cruel existence that brings people to this point, but I wish you the best.