Discussion Past Attempts

[BumperCrop]

After three attempts and a long stint in a psychiatric ward, I am ready to face the end. But I need to be sure this time around. So far I have failed to hang myself and opioid overdose is unreliable. I'm afraid of the pain of SN and N is so hard to acquire. For those like me, how do you reassure yourself that the next try will be a success? I feel like a failure alone in the world.

 

[Grandexit]

Depends on location, what's available and how easily you can source stuff. There is a resource guide.

Not to be insensitive, could you tell us a little about why your experience with H was not successful? It's been a topic around here. You're not alone, you have us!

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I'm the same.
I've failed too many times
One day I will get it right.

 

[squirtsoda]

I was afraid of the pain of SN after first reading about it, but after more and more research it seems more like a bad hangover than anything else, at worst. No pain/discomfort at best.

 

[Kirbster]

I think the best way for your next attempt to succeed is: planning, mentality, and method.
I was afraid of SN too, but I think the pain isn't as bad as you may think and it's pretty effective if you follow all the directions and precautions (plus easy to attain). You can't have any loose ends as it pertains to suicide or there will always be a chance of failure. Everything should be planned to the utmost degree. A mentality where you no longer care about 5-10 minutes of "slight" pain in order to achieve eternal peace would also help. Get more comfortable with different methods, look to other accounts of success and how it felt for guidance, and you'll be well on your way.

 

[Ghost2211]

I think a lot of people are not successful due to impulsive attempts, lack of research, or being interrupted. You're not a failure for being alive.

im not gong to tell people SN will be comfy. I imagine it will be like an asthma attack. It is relatively fast, and for many drinking stuff is easier than the alternatives.

The people that success on the first try pick the more deadly methods, and overcome si. That's why I went with SN... It will get the job done, and I can't derp it up.

 

[BumperCrop]

The problem with opioids is that you often don't know exactly what you have and which dosage will be effective. My problem was a habit and a tolerance. I believe my tolerance saved my life.

I'm alive for lack of proper planning, no doubt. It is harder to catch the bus than it is to die unwillingly.

I fear that accounts of SN success are whitewashed on a site like this and demonized by others. Maybe my unwillingness to go out in bad pain is instinctual or maybe I am unready to accept death. I am just so skeptical of claims that such a death is peaceful or that the pain is slight.

 

[squirtsoda]

One fact is hypoxia isn't painful (minus a possible but not always present headache and nausea) if that means anything to you, it's mostly down to the stomach discomfort from the "burn" of the salt

note to add, if you've ever been drunk, you have felt hypoxia. That's exactly what it is. Histotoxic hypoxia specifically for alcohol. Of course there are some additional things going on with dopamine and other neurotransmitters.

 

[mpnf]

After three attempts and a long stint in a psychiatric ward, I am ready to face the end. But I need to be sure this time around. So far I have failed to hang myself and opioid overdose is unreliable. I'm afraid of the pain of SN and N is so hard to acquire. For those like me, how do you reassure yourself that the next try will be a success? I feel like a failure alone in the world.

You're not alone in that. I'm a failure for my own past expectations and maybe the ones in the future. I shouldn't exist but here I am wanting to leave but hella scared of consequences. And I hate having neighbors too.