Passive suicidality

[RiverOfLife]

I have been putting off cancer screenings I should be getting due to my age. At first it was just procrastination, which I have always struggled with. But in the last couple of years I have made a conscious decision not to get screened in case they find something while it is still curable.
Anyone else feel the same way?

 

[SomewhatLoved]

When I was a kid I had a lump that I thought was a tumor and I was convinced in my child mind that it was cancer and that I would die from it. Never told anyone and eventually it went away. Never sure what it was, what caused it, or why if went away. Only if I had been so lucky.

But yes. I do feel that way. There's many of us on this forum who dream of dying but are scared, apathetic, unable to overcome SI, or for whatever reason cannot go through with it.

If tomorrow that lump came back I would not tell anyone about it. If I developed other symptoms of cancer and people commented on them, I would likely play it off and try to avoid treatment or diagnosis until it had progressed to a point of being terminal.

 

[RiverOfLife]

Yes. This year I talked to my mother's doctor and she reminded me I should get a colonoscopy because of my family history.
I smiled, nodded, and lied through my teeth that I would absolutely do that.

 

[Leiot]

Yes. It would give me a good excuse to CTB.

 

[divinemistress36]

Terminal cancer would be a dream. I could get euthansia

 

[Leiot]

Terminal cancer would be a dream. I could get euthansia

Here in the US you can in a few places. Switzerland you can. I think it's still illegal in the UK and other countries - someone correct me on that if I'm wrong.

 

[divinemistress36]

Here in the US you can in a few places. Switzerland you can. I think it's still illegal in the UK and other countries - someone correct me on that if I'm wrong.

Yes, I'm in USA I could head on over to Oregon or Washington

 

[Leiot]

Yes, I'm in USA I could head on over to Oregon or Washington

I'm sure the VA Mental Health department would blow a fuse..

 

[RiverOfLife]

Yes, I'm in USA I could head on over to Oregon or Washington

I believe Vermont is easier for non-residents.
But that would be such a good excuse. Even hospice would keep the pain minimal and it would be a relief to know the suffering would come to an end.

 

[Leiot]

I'd maybe try Switzerland. My family emmigrated from there in the mid 1800s and going back might be a fitting end.

 

[ARW3N]

I was screened for cancer and the result came back negative.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I have been putting off cancer screenings I should be getting due to my age. At first it was just procrastination, which I have always struggled with. But in the last couple of years I have made a conscious decision not to get screened in case they find something while it is still curable.
Anyone else feel the same way?

I totally get it. Last year I did go for a physical and of course they told me due to my age All the screenings I needed. Now I don't even want to go to my regular PCP for anything because I don't want him getting on me about going to specialists and getting tests done.
I feel like it's sick but sometimes I do hope I get a terminal disease. But I don't wanna suffer. In a lot of cases to get to terminal, you'd probably have to ignore a lot of symptoms and not be feeling too well.

 

[RiverOfLife]

You can get pretty far along without symptoms. Or at least without debilitating symptoms. Then you just refuse treatment.