It's impossible to tell for sure of course because I imagine the deaths are probably ruled as accidents, health issues or something similar but I find myself wondering at how effective being passively suicidal is at making the person ctb. I seem to be to much of a coward to hang myself properly, even though I've tried several times and I don't have access to a gun or SN at the moment. I've noticed how passively suicidal I've become in life. I don't look both ways before i cross the street and I pay little to no attention to my own safety. I live fairly healthy by exercising routinely but it's become less of a thing I do to stay healthy and more of a way to punish myself. I'm just destroying my body in an attempt to get my heart to give out and not doing it to live well.
I wish their was some sort of record out their that showed how effective my tendencies were for other people to show how well they could work for me. I've heard of rare instances people whose lack of concern for their own health and their own sheer lack of will to live causes their hearts to give out. I wish I could figure out how likely that is to happen to me so I could just go on for a month or two more with the knowledge that I wouldn't even have to do it myself. Life would help me out for once and do it for me.
I wish their was some sort of record out their that showed how effective my tendencies were for other people to show how well they could work for me. I've heard of rare instances people whose lack of concern for their own health and their own sheer lack of will to live causes their hearts to give out. I wish I could figure out how likely that is to happen to me so I could just go on for a month or two more with the knowledge that I wouldn't even have to do it myself. Life would help me out for once and do it for me.
