Venting Passing alone

[SSlostallhope]

I have been a loner all my life. Always the one with no friends , nobody to turn too with even my happy thoughts let alone my sad ones.
I know the majority of people die alone, but I'm scared of it. I don't know why I feel like that, as I have been on my own anyway.
I dunno, just a friendly voice on the phone, or a touch of a hand I think would help so much. And I can't have it :(
Can't wait to leave loneliness behind

 

[Mistake of Nature]

Same here. You'd think that being alone your whole life would make you prepared to die alone, but it really doesn't, at least not for me. I guess I just want to connect with another soul before I leave. A moment of comfort before all goes black...

I hope you find what you need, OP.

 

[TowerUpright]

You don't have to be completely alone. If you find someone you can trust on here, you could have a conversation with them or set up a Discord.

I agree, though, nothing is a substitute for holding someone's hand or a strong, friendly embrace. But we need to take what we can.

Good luck, SS. I know how you feel, in a slightly different way.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Same, I wish I could've spent time with a wonderful person I met on here but this worlds suicide prohibition guaranteed that it would never happen. I've been alienated and alone my entire life and that's unfortunately how my life will end as well.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Yeah I'm def the loner type. It's hard to work out how much you actually enjoy being on your own when it seems to be your only option all the time. I mean sometimes there are people but then it always ends up empty again. Anyway for me I guess I'm thinking of giving recovery one more go just in case I can break the pattern but only in a half-arsed kind of way I think; I'm too tired of it all at this point to be overly enthused.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[FinalDestination]

Wow this is almost exactly me now. Well even when I was with friends I'd feel distant, even in company I felt alone. Like I didn't belong, and I know it wasn't them they were lovely people but I always felt like I imposed and was an imposter in their presence. That was high school and after that I can't bring myself to even try reach out and make connections ( briefly tried but that imposing feeling always comes back). It's probably best it's that way anyways I've somewhat accustomed myself to it and it's become both my solace and curse I feel. I'm rambling now... regardless, I hope you find clarity and can have what it is you are yearning for

 

[Lonelyman]

This is a big issue for me. Although I'm used to being alone dying alone is something that bothers me yet I don't know why.

 

[SSlostallhope]

Wow this is almost exactly me now. Well even when I was with friends I'd feel distant, even in company I felt alone. Like I didn't belong, and I know it wasn't them they were lovely people but I always felt like I imposed and was an imposter in their presence. That was high school and after that I can't bring myself to even try reach out and make connections ( briefly tried but that imposing feeling always comes back). It's probably best it's that way anyways I've somewhat accustomed myself to it and it's become both my solace and curse I feel. I'm rambling now... regardless, I hope you find clarity and can have what it is you are yearning for

The imposing feeling is what drives my loneliness I think :( don't bother reaching out to anyone anymore just feel like I'm bothering them and bringing them down

 

[Bct]

I can understand your fear, as a loner. I think because death is the last chance to feel the intimacy of others, yet probably we won't be able to get that. I'm still learning to accept that possibility. Hopefully you're able to get what you want.

 

[Onlyout]

This is my first post, hi everyone on SS. I'd like to not be alone when I get ready to check out too. Based on which method I decide to go with along with when and where it will take place, that might not be an issue. But if someone on here would like to get on the bus with me at some point, that would be comforting.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

Same. It's mainly because I'm a scaredy cat and I fear what's on the other side. I'd really enjoy having someone to chat with as I manage to prepare my stuff and hang myself. But even my closest friend is a pro lifer and she'd probably try to convince me otherwise or call for help :(

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I think many will feel the same. I have been alone all my life too. I have accepted it as my gate, but it makes it no easier. No matter who we are with, we are all alone in our minds. Our understanding is our tragedy.

 

[Doormat]

The thought of people dying alone is heartbreaking and by suicide - unimaginable. I live alone and for a variety of reasons have had to make it that way. It's hard. I look after myself when I am sick, navigate the minutiae of living and talk myself off the ledge when it gets bad - not a great combo. I haven't had a hug in nearly 20 years because of the walls I have put up. Do you sometimes think "how did it get this bad?". To all of you going through this stuff alone - I see you

 

[SSlostallhope]

So as my date draws near I'm feeling this thread again :( damn

 

[aminend]

So as my date draws near I'm feeling this thread again :( damn

What's ur method bro

 

[SSlostallhope]

What's ur method bro

SN

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I got married to someone I love deeply, and it still didn't cure my loneliness. Perhaps there's something in our wiring that just causes us to feel isolated.

I wish I didn't have to die alone. I wish there could be someone by my side, holding my hand as I drift off into the void.

 

[SSlostallhope]

I got married to someone I love deeply, and it still didn't cure my loneliness. Perhaps there's something in our wiring that just causes us to feel isolated.

I wish I didn't have to die alone. I wish there could be someone by my side, holding my hand as I drift off into the void.

Would be nice wouldn't it :(

 

[WornOutLife]

As it was once said in Lost, one of the best tv shows ever:

"we live together, we die alone."


I think that if you really focus on it, you can get a person to deal with your loneliness because in my opinion, we choose to be alone.
For instance, some years ago I hanged out with lots of people, my students loved me, and blah blah, but I got fed up with social life and decided to become a shut-in who rarely sees people.

Trust me, no matter what your personality or physical appearance looks like, there is always someone you can create a friendship/love bond with. Even with people in this forum, why not talk to them and see if somebody lives nearby? Or maybe talk to them and receive virtual support? (although I think you need the person physically present next to you right?)


Just like us, who'll probably decide to CTB, we also decide whether to die alone or not. Keep that in mind.

GL!

 

[SSlostallhope]

As it was once said in Lost, one of the best tv shows ever:

"we live together, we die alone."


I think that if you really focus on it, you can get a person to deal with your loneliness because in my opinion, we choose to be alone.
For instance, some years ago I hanged out with lots of people, my students loved me, and blah blah, but I got fed up with social life and decided to become a shut-in who rarely sees people.

Trust me, no matter what your personality or physical appearance looks like, there is always someone you can create a friendship/love bond with. Even with people in this forum, why not talk to them and see if somebody lives nearby? Or maybe talk to them and receive virtual support? (although I think you need the person physically present next to you right?)


Just like us, who'll probably decide to CTB, we also decide whether to die alone or not. Keep that in mind.

GL!

thank you for your post. I know I will pass alone. I'm probably going to do a goodbye thread and hope there's people online to talk too, to distract me from what's happening

 

[Worndown]

thank you for your post. I know I will pass alone. I'm probably going to do a goodbye thread and hope there's people online to talk too, to distract me from what's happening

Please post as long as possible. You are not alone here. It is also good to let others how everything goes.

 

[Nymph]

I have been a loner all my life. Always the one with no friends , nobody to turn too with even my happy thoughts let alone my sad ones.
I know the majority of people die alone, but I'm scared of it. I don't know why I feel like that, as I have been on my own anyway.
I dunno, just a friendly voice on the phone, or a touch of a hand I think would help so much. And I can't have it :(
Can't wait to leave loneliness behind

Yeah same, I think I'll be hugging my giant shark when I'm on my way to eternal sleep