G
GoneGoneGone
Enlightened
- Apr 1, 2020
- 1,141
Hey guys,
I don't know where to start, I'm so distraught. I suffer from panic disorder and depression and obviously my behavior is not normie behavior.
I live abroad and a couple of months ago I had an SN botched attempt, my partner found me. I reordered a month ago and he got a hold of it and says he is storing it for me bc I explained to him that it makes me feel safe if I know I have it. I was doing better but we had many fights.
I considered buying N but then I realized that he would confiscate it too bc he wakes up early to check the mail. After many unrelated fights I decided that I want to end the relationship and go to my home country, where very likely my father would put me in a ward. Last time I went there he put me in a ward to "take out the panic attacks out of me," but I was almost raped because men had access to the women's pavilion.
So I asked my now partner to give me the SN when I leave and he doesn't want to. I understand he feels guilty if I die in his house, but this is not the plan. I told him it wouldn't get back to him. So on the one hand he is completely comfortable knowing that I might be beaten and raped in a ward, but on the other hand he steals my SN.
I wouldn't be able to order N or SN in my home country bc my father checks the mail, and I know the moment I go there he'll take me to a ward.
What to do? Thank you in advance.
I don't know where to start, I'm so distraught. I suffer from panic disorder and depression and obviously my behavior is not normie behavior.
I live abroad and a couple of months ago I had an SN botched attempt, my partner found me. I reordered a month ago and he got a hold of it and says he is storing it for me bc I explained to him that it makes me feel safe if I know I have it. I was doing better but we had many fights.
I considered buying N but then I realized that he would confiscate it too bc he wakes up early to check the mail. After many unrelated fights I decided that I want to end the relationship and go to my home country, where very likely my father would put me in a ward. Last time I went there he put me in a ward to "take out the panic attacks out of me," but I was almost raped because men had access to the women's pavilion.
So I asked my now partner to give me the SN when I leave and he doesn't want to. I understand he feels guilty if I die in his house, but this is not the plan. I told him it wouldn't get back to him. So on the one hand he is completely comfortable knowing that I might be beaten and raped in a ward, but on the other hand he steals my SN.
I wouldn't be able to order N or SN in my home country bc my father checks the mail, and I know the moment I go there he'll take me to a ward.
What to do? Thank you in advance.