Venting partner copied self harm

[rec]

My partner saw my extensive self harm scars a year or two ago and decided he would copy my behaviour for some reason? This happens with everyone I get close with. He only did it a few times and the wounds were superficial. Now he's shown people his scars and acted like it's his thing when he just copied it off me. He's telling me to wear long sleeves at work because I got a job at the same place as him and he doesn't want people catching on that he copied me.

Yeah maybe I'm in the wrong here but I had a go at him because I think it's hypocritical having so many 'accidents' leading to people finding out about him cutting e.g. oopsie my bandage slipped out of my sleeve! oops I left blood by the bath! oops I accidentally told someone at work who is known to be a snitch that I have self harm scars!

anyway he called me deranged which is lovely considering my diagnosis. I think I just ruined things with him. Thoughts? I literally have been self harming since 11 and I am an adult now and never once have I had such an 'accident' yet he has cut himself like 9 times max and he's slipping up so many times. He shows off his scars to someone at work and yet I'm not allowed to wear short sleeves at work because it's unprofessional, but why should I censor my own body? what's wrong with my body? Thanks for reading. I just needed to get this off my chest and maybe hear some thoughts on this situation.

He even shared private delusions I used to have with people behind my back and called me a schizo and now I don't know if he's still talking about me like this because he doesn't believe that I'm Jesus Christ.
ha ha I told him I would be embarrassed to be him. Maybe Satan really is with me

 

[Amakishiyo]

I'm not sure if you can ever call self harm copying, although this whole behaviour doesn't sound mentally healthy of course, sounds like a really bad cry for attention to me, maybe for actual reasons of wanting help/empathy or anything like that, just to feel better, or just for actual attention or maybe even in bad intention to mess with you. In all fairness this doesn't sound like someone that should be your partner at all and if you can, you should try to end this relationship as soon as possible and get away from this person. I am not sure what you mean by the last paragraph tho.

 

[rec]

He told me he self harmed because he saw my scars and that made him want to do it, so in that case it is copying in my opinion. The problem is that everyone I get close with ends up self harming because of me, so it looks like I can't have a relationship with anyone? It might be for the best, though. He wants kids and I'm an antinatalist and he won't listen to me and keeps saying I will like being pregnant and giving birth ??? Yeah maybe it's for the best.

 

[Amakishiyo]

He sounds like a red flag on a mountain of red flags, please be safe and get away from this person, he sounds dangerous. You can find someone that isn't like this, most people definitely don't self harm just because others do.

 

[rec]

You're right. I've just been writing things off for so long but now it's over. Thanks for the advice. I really hope there are people out there who aren't like that.

 

[Amakishiyo]

Take safety measures tho, if you have any others you can trust, tell them about it maybe, in case anything bad happens or you feel like can happen. Just from your description alone this person sounds like he could do some messed up things if you officially break up with him. Take care of yourself

 

[Veraz]

He sounds like a red flag on a mountain of red flags, please be safe and get away from this person, he sounds dangerous. You can find someone that isn't like this, most people definitely don't self harm just because others do.

Absolutely this. People like them thrive on control, and their behaviour typically worsens as the relationship progresses. It's better that you cut ties with this person ASAP, and if he gives you reason to feel threatened, don't be afraid to reach out to a domestic violence shelter or the police. They exist for this exact reason, and in the case of a shelter you won't need to prove anything to them. Simply showing up and saying you need help is enough.