Help Particularly gruesome/violent CTB methods?

[CantWait2D1E]

Any suggestions on methods? I don't think I deserve peaceful or painless ways like SN.

What are some ways I can CTB where my body would be completely unrecognizable and utterly destroyed? How can I inflect the most pain on myself before going?

I really hate my vessel and want to punish it as much as possible.

How successful would lighting myself on fire be?

 

[Huntfish34]

Damn, Fck. I'm sorry life has brought you to this decision..... Idk, probably going by a train ?

I don't see the fire being too successful, depends on your pain tolerance I suppose?

 

[bestroper]

That would be so painful. If it fails, you are likely to get a fourth degree burn on your body and become disabled
Other painful ways are to jump into a train or jump out of a building

 

[SSGoingInsane]

Probably getting run over or falling from a very high place. Why "punish your vessel" tho?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

What makes you think you deserve a painful death?

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Why "punish your vessel" tho?

What makes you think you deserve a painful death?

My body and mind have been my biggest shortcomings my entire life. I want it all gone. I'm somehow always the skinniest and the fattest, the weakest and the ugliest, the stupidest and the poorest out of everyone I meet. My thoughts always betray me. I know I'm undesirable yet this part of me still yearns for love and attention. I still want people even though I know they'll always end up hurting me or leaving me. I hate myself for feeling this way.

Unfortunately trains and tall buildings are not as accessible in my area as say gas stations.

I dream of bathing myself in gasoline. Having all my tissue that took 24 years to develop, countless gym sessions and meals, melt away. Fire is the ultimate cleanser.. purifier. I think it is the only way I would be redeemed for all the waste my pointless existence has brought upon this world.

 

[missingpeace]

I feel like that too.. a brutal end to a life that was brutal. That's why I want to hang myself. It's a statement to God with what he decided to do to me.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

I feel like that too.. a brutal end to a life that was brutal. That's why I want to hang myself. It's a statement to God with what he decided to do to me.

Very true. For me it's almost like I want to prove a point.. or send a message to everyone else with my death. I just don't think that can be done with conventional means

 

[dumpstermagic]

lighting yourself on fire is easy, just dump gas on yourself and go for it. going to yellowstone and fist fighting a grizzly bear probly grusome
or the same but with alligators in the south
or a buffalo or something

 

[SSGoingInsane]

My body and mind have been my biggest shortcomings my entire life. I want it all gone. I'm somehow always the skinniest and the fattest, the weakest and the ugliest, the stupidest and the poorest out of everyone I meet. My thoughts always betray me. I know I'm undesirable yet this part of me still yearns for love and attention. I still want people even though I know they'll always end up hurting me or leaving me. I hate myself for feeling this way.

Unfortunately trains and tall buildings are not as accessible in my area as say gas stations.

I dream of bathing myself in gasoline. Having all my tissue that took 24 years to develop, countless gym sessions and meals, melt away. Fire is the ultimate cleanser.. purifier. I think it is the only way I would be redeemed for all the waste my pointless existence has brought upon this world.

what about the survival instinct?

 

[innominesatanas44]

I relate so much to this. I want to be mangled, I don't care if it hurts like hell or if it's just for once second. I refuse to "learn to accept" my physical inferiority. It is impossible for me to enjoy life in a subpar vile and disgusting body. I truly don't understand people who want to stay in tact after death. Maybe a chainsaw would be helpful

 

[CantWait2D1E]

what about the survival instinct?

Good point. SI is hard to overcome that's ultimately why I'm here writing this post. I think the thing with self-immolation is that there's no going back from it, once I'm on fire I'd have to go through with it. I'd imagine it's hard to put yourself out once you're completely engulfed.

lighting yourself on fire is easy, just dump gas on yourself and go for it. going to yellowstone and fist fighting a grizzly bear probly grusome
or the same but with alligators in the south
or a buffalo or something

Unfortunately there is a lack of dangerous animals in my area and my travel means are really limited but good suggestion.

 

[dumpstermagic]

when you say a lack of, is it none? what you got? you could just walk to where some are. if you dont make it, that's a pretty gruesome death too

 

[SSGoingInsane]

Good point. SI is hard to overcome that's ultimately why I'm here writing this post. I think the thing with self-immolation is that there's no going back from it, once I'm on fire I'd have to go through with it. I'd imagine it's hard to put yourself out once you're completely engulfed.


Unfortunately there is a lack of dangerous animals in my area and my travel means are really limited but good suggestion.

I mean if its absolutely necessary to for it to be gruesome maybe getting run over by a big ass truck would be better than fire (SI-wise)

 

[CantWait2D1E]

I mean if its absolutely necessary to for it to be gruesome maybe getting run over by a big ass truck would be better than fire (SI-wise)

Good idea. I've considered getting really drunk and walking along my local interstate late at night hoping to cross paths with a semi. My biggest fear with that is getting picked up by police instead and getting returned to a mental institution which I cannot afford.

when you say a lack of, is it none? what you got? you could just walk to where some are. if you dont make it, that's a pretty gruesome death too

I'm smack dab in the middle of an urban area so like no wildlife besides geese and squirrels lol. Out of desperation I tried walking as far away from my home as I could. Didn't get very far before doing the long ass walk back. Don't think exhaustion/dehydration are violent enough.

 

[SSGoingInsane]

Good idea. I've considered getting really drunk and walking along my local interstate late at night hoping to cross paths with a semi. My biggest fear with that is getting picked up by police instead and getting returned to a mental institution which I cannot afford.


I'm smack dab in the middle of an urban area so like no wildlife besides geese and squirrels lol. Out of desperation I tried walking as far away from my home as I could. Didn't get very far before doing the long ass walk back. Don't think exhaustion/dehydration are violent enough.

Honestly im out of ideas. You could either go the gasoline route which is terrifying to me, or risk it getting caught by cops, or use a non violent route like SN. other than that maybe cutting or some kind of suffocation, maybe hanging?
edit: u prolly already thought about all of these but whatever

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Honestly im out of ideas. You could either go the gasoline route which is terrifying to me, or risk it getting caught by cops, or use a non violent route like SN. other than that maybe cutting or some kind of suffocation, maybe hanging?
edit: u prolly already thought about all of these but whatever

I thank you for taking the time to provide them! Regardless of if I've thought of them or not. Yes there's so many methods to think of. It's just so hard picking one and acting on it.

 

[SSGoingInsane]

I thank you for taking the time to provide them! Regardless of if I've thought of them or not. Yes there's so many methods to think of. It's just so hard picking one and acting on it.

yeah. idk why but i am kinda scared to comment on some forums here. I'm quite new so idk. even if it is someone's right to cbt just the thought of me helping in that is scaring me.
i hope you don't even proceed with any of these methods but its up to you.

 

[Hollowman]

There was a tree service working at my neighbors a couple years ago. A big wood chipper was on at the end of my driveway, I was tempted to jump into it.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

yeah. idk why but i am kinda scared to comment on some forums here. I'm quite new so idk. even if it is someone's right to cbt just the thought of me helping in that is scaring me.
i hope you don't even proceed with any of these methods but its up to you.

Welcome to the site, again I thank you for commenting on my thread as one of your first. I totally understand not wanting to contribute to some other threads. For me I just pick which ones are most recent or what's of interest to me. Also agree with fear of "helping" ppl CTB. Same thought crossed my mind when people PMd me for SN sources

It will probably be a while before I act on any thoughts. Holding out til my birthday coming up in august to see if things get better by then.

There was a tree service working at my neighbors a couple years ago. A big wood chipper was on at the end of my driveway, I was tempted to jump into it.

I totally relate to that. Whenever I see vids of metal crushers/shredders absolutely demolishing like a gas cylinder my immediate reaction is "shit I wanna dive into one of those like a swimming pool".

 

[Krobo]

I would absolutely not recommend deliberately choosing a painful method to go. There's a major difference between desiring the idea of something and wanting the thing itself, and you won't be able to turn back time if you start regretting your decision midway.

But if you insist on it and won't accept any alternative, drinking a bottle of lye-based drain cleaner or other strong alkaline caustic could do the trick. You'd need a lot of extra lye to disfigure your exterior as well, though. The destructiveness of acids tends to be overrated, but sulfuric acid or nitric acid may work if you want something violent.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

My body and mind have been my biggest shortcomings my entire life. I want it all gone. I'm somehow always the skinniest and the fattest, the weakest and the ugliest, the stupidest and the poorest out of everyone I meet. My thoughts always betray me. I know I'm undesirable yet this part of me still yearns for love and attention. I still want people even though I know they'll always end up hurting me or leaving me. I hate myself for feeling this way.

I can understand what it's like to wage war against yourself. But since you realize that your thoughts are skewed against you, it isn't necessarily true that you deserve the worst kind of death imaginable. From a practical standpoint, SI is already very difficult with more peaceful methods.

 

[Yuki K]

Any suggestions on methods? I don't think I deserve peaceful or painless ways like SN.

What are some ways I can CTB where my body would be completely unrecognizable and utterly destroyed? How can I inflect the most pain on myself before going?

I really hate my vessel and want to punish it as much as possible.

How successful would lighting myself on fire be?

Acid, fire and knives or chainsaws

 

[dumpstermagic]

Good idea. I've considered getting really drunk and walking along my local interstate late at night hoping to cross paths with a semi. My biggest fear with that is getting picked up by police instead and getting returned to a mental institution which I cannot afford.


I'm smack dab in the middle of an urban area so like no wildlife besides geese and squirrels lol. Out of desperation I tried walking as far away from my home as I could. Didn't get very far before doing the long ass walk back. Don't think exhaustion/dehydration are violent enough.

well of course they arent when u just turn around and go home. u can walk thousands of miles. go find some critters
if u find out how to weaponize squirels let me know