willowtrees0

willowtrees0

willowtrees
Oct 5, 2018
54
I have researched partial suspension since I attempted it almost 5 months ago. I see so many websites saying "this method can cause brain damage if you are found before process is complete" ok I get that if someone finds me I will be a veggie forever. I am home 5 days a week by myself my bf works out of town. Unless my dogs learn how to open the spare room door and untie a rope im not getting found.

But I also see that after you loose consciousness your 'survival instincts' kick in. So what I want to know is....

If I go through with this. is it possible after I pass out I will somehow get the rope off of and have brain damage? or will I wake up in 2 days with a pounding headache? If I pass out with severe brain damage and dont wake up would I die from dehydration in 4 days?

Am I just being crazy to think this will happen and I somehow wont die?

Has anyone tried this and failed and woke up on the floor?

little rant (not important to read):

my family is very religious and they have no idea this is coming. I moved far away with my bf when I turned 18 im now almost 21 at the end of this month. I've always been rebellious and driven and to their knowledge they think im in college and moving to Alaska in a year. when in relatity depression hit hard and I dropped out and then lost my job earlier this year. I never had depression until I graduated. I just wasn't mentally ready for the real world... I have tried so hard to adjust to life but I just cant. My anxiety Is awful and the depression gets worse by the day. My bf has already noticed a change in me and I fear my family will soon to.

I dont want to be remembered this way. I will ctb but I dont want to do it when no one even recognizes me anymore. I want to be remembered for the girl I once was. They shouldn't have to go through watching me loosing my mind and my physical ending.
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
You're killing yourself over that?? Damn, I'd be glad to have that problem
 
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T

TTh

Member
Jul 25, 2018
26
You're killing yourself over that?? Damn, I'd be glad to have that problem
How insensitive. Everyone's suffering is different and depression is a horrible struggle.

Willowtrees I somehow managed to get the rope off while unconscious and woke up on the floor
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
I know, but yours seems to have a solution. Just don't go to school and live the life you want
 
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willowtrees0

willowtrees0

willowtrees
Oct 5, 2018
54
im really sorry guys i know people have had it so much worse than me and I have so much respect for all of you that have delt with this for so much longer.. I have commented on a few of your posts in awe of how strong you all are.... im not ctb because I want a different life. Im ending it all because I couldnt handle life. life became to much for me to handle and it has mentally broken me.

I developed extreme anxiety on a fake fear I fed myself and then put myself in isolation and it soon turned into depression. Its just alot to explain and is just alot that no one cares about. thats why I tried not to when writing my suicide note. I want everyone to remember me as a adventurous and outgoing and loving. not who I am now so I choose to leave that out.

Ill just let you read my suicide note it explains it better than I can: (also i did write personal letters to tell immediate family that I love them and all that this is just more of an 'explanation letter' that I wrote to everyone, I didnt want people to be left out and I didnt want a 6 page suicide note.)


Please know this; no single act can define a life. My life was full of happiness and moments that were pure joy. I did this not because I wasn't loved but because I couldn't handle my own mind fighting against me. Trust that nothing could be done, that you couldnt have known and I wouldn't have told you if you did. I never cried for help.

I just wasn't strong enough and for that im sorry. I dont deserve pity because I took the easy way out. This isnt meant to be a letter so that you feel sorry for me. this is a letter so that you can somehow start to find closure for all the pain ive brought. I want to give you reason. I want to make it all clear but I cant. I cant find the words to describe what led to my death. you could say it was depression. somehow, however it felt so much worse. It just felt like I was stuck in time and I couldnt move.
i could go on forever attempting to come up with a explanation but nothing would come from it. I love you all. My friends and My family. whatever is in store for me on the other side I want you to believe im at peace. I hope to watch over each and every one of you as you live life to the fullest and if I can, I will remember my entire life and regret this decision for eternity.

Much love


if you have any other questions or this isnt enough for you ( i dont want to sound stupid or a spoiled brat) or would just like to talk and share your experience maybe help me understand why I am like this. Im always free to talk. I get notifications for messages so I will get on as soon as I can.
 
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Punished snake

Punished snake

Student
Sep 9, 2018
110
I need to attempt partial suspension too but simply can't find a safe place to do it. Share your fears too.
 
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Shewaitsforme

Arcanist
Sep 23, 2018
493
I get what you mean willow tree, dont worry some people just dont underatand that sufferring is just that, its not measured by how bad or whats hapoened its just suffering. Noones problems are bigger than anyone elses, we all have our shit simole as that. Partial is part of my method, i just want to make sure i have other things too so that even if the survival instinct kicks in i wont be able to save myself. I dont want it to be just an attempt i want it to work.

For instance there is a girl on this ward who last night put a bag over her head then came out her room with it still on, she didnt want to die so now shes on a secure ward for attempting to take her own life. Im here for suicide ideology but ill wait untill im out so i can make sure it goes to plan.
 
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Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
Partial will work especially if you use a strong enough rope and have enough time before you're found. Usually is over within a few seconds then you just fade away.

I live with chronic depression and anxiety which is why I'm leaving as well. I know I can't make it here and I don't want to endure a life of suffering.

I wish you the best with whatever you decide.
 
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TooLate2582

Experienced
May 6, 2018
267
If I go through with this. is it possible after I pass out I will somehow get the rope off of and have brain damage? or will I wake up in 2 days with a pounding headache? If I pass out with severe brain damage and dont wake up would I die from dehydration in 4 days?

No. Once there is a loss of consciousness, any movements are reflex based and somewhat uncoordinated. There are several videos on the internet that show this.
 
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