This is my plan.
I am chronically disabled and have no quality of life. My biggest struggle is mania, it makes it hard for me to come up with a working method and has led to addiction and self harm. But I have finally figured it out. I hope.
I rigged up a rope attached to the bar inside my closet high enough so that I can't kneel or sit down. It's more like doing a wall sit with nothing supporting your back. I tested the strength of both the bar and the rope holding my entire weight by dangling from my hand. Then I pulled as hard as I could to compensate for any struggling. I did this for five minutes straight. Secure.
Then I tested it. I put my head through with light cloth on both sides of the "sweet spot" to increase pressure. Tightened the back in the hangman's noose and acted out my plan.
Within seconds I was blacking out and the panic set in. I was drunk at the time and had just puked a bunch so it did not feel pleasant. I want to be in the right mind space when I do it for real.
It was very difficult to get out of it considering I could not sit back or get on my knees. The only way out was standing up. Because I stood up quickly enough I was able to brace myself against the closet and free myself before collapsing.
This is good because that means when it's really time I will be unable to save myself after a few seconds.
Tomorrow I will commit to this for real and if I make it out by either the rope breaking or being saved ECT. I will update when I can.
For anyone trying partial, do your research, find the sweet spot on your neck where you can hear your pulse loudly, and make sure you are high enough, I don't recommend doorknobs. Think higher. The higher you are the harder to save but too high is also bad unless it's full. And no belts. If I can find the thread that helped me get the best plan I'll link it. Safe travels to you all.
I am chronically disabled and have no quality of life. My biggest struggle is mania, it makes it hard for me to come up with a working method and has led to addiction and self harm. But I have finally figured it out. I hope.
I rigged up a rope attached to the bar inside my closet high enough so that I can't kneel or sit down. It's more like doing a wall sit with nothing supporting your back. I tested the strength of both the bar and the rope holding my entire weight by dangling from my hand. Then I pulled as hard as I could to compensate for any struggling. I did this for five minutes straight. Secure.
Then I tested it. I put my head through with light cloth on both sides of the "sweet spot" to increase pressure. Tightened the back in the hangman's noose and acted out my plan.
Within seconds I was blacking out and the panic set in. I was drunk at the time and had just puked a bunch so it did not feel pleasant. I want to be in the right mind space when I do it for real.
It was very difficult to get out of it considering I could not sit back or get on my knees. The only way out was standing up. Because I stood up quickly enough I was able to brace myself against the closet and free myself before collapsing.
This is good because that means when it's really time I will be unable to save myself after a few seconds.
Tomorrow I will commit to this for real and if I make it out by either the rope breaking or being saved ECT. I will update when I can.
For anyone trying partial, do your research, find the sweet spot on your neck where you can hear your pulse loudly, and make sure you are high enough, I don't recommend doorknobs. Think higher. The higher you are the harder to save but too high is also bad unless it's full. And no belts. If I can find the thread that helped me get the best plan I'll link it. Safe travels to you all.
