Partial hanging failed.

[Tantalus]

I tried to CBT earlier today using partial hanging. I used a slipknot, and it worked well. I placed the rope below my Adam's apple and tightened the know before sitting down. As the pressure I applied increased, it got progressively more uncomfortable. I think the knot slid up and gave me coughing fits. I tried again, this time standing up and slowly sitting down until the blood flow was cut out. It was much more manageable, but I didn't lose consciousness. I was conscious for about a minute of it, and right when I thought it was going to happen, I heard voices of footsteps coming towards me. I thought my mom was coming to the shed and quickly removed the knot. There was no one outside, and I didn't want to risk it. I wanted to do it early in the morning so no one would come around. I wanted to lose consciousness fast and be done with it. I might try the night night methods. I just want it to end soon. I want this pain to end

 

[inmyhead]

I'm so sorry that life has come to this point for you.

I had a similar experience today but it was more full suspension, my tiptoes were on the ground and my SI kicked in and I tried to get it off. I can only describe it as sheer panic. But damn it worked! I was tingly all over and I know I would have lost consciousness quickly. I may have at one point and just don't remember. I would recommend full suspension if you can it's definitely more effective. I tried partial a few times and couldn't get to the point of blacking out.

 

[Worndown]

Can you try full? If you do, make sure it is high enough you do not touch the ground. That thwarts SI and will make you pass out faster.

 

[FuneralCry]

Failing a ctb attempt is exactly what I fear, I hate how difficult it is to die in this cruel world and I get that it's so horrible feeling trapped here when you just wish to be gone. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for.