Venting Parents

[lobster salad]

can't trust them. I already tried , and Their help doesn't align with what i seek for most of the time.

As much as a problem I am, they are definitely not doing much that's right. fighting over which one of them is responsible for my behavior. I feel this blame-game cannot last much longer. like I've no autonomy over anything even myself anymore.

I can't work, can't study can't trust anyone can't care enough cant stop drinking can't do fucking anything. try to have fun with my brother like we had in the past but he doesn't give a damn other than playing shooting games with his e friends (he's typical 15 year old)

Because of my laziness and low probability of mental illnesses; of which I can think of, there's almost no way out.

I'm scared of going to a doctor for suicidal thoughts because I don't look like suicidal

I let my dad in on where's my booze bottle at Out of trust, and ever since then 4cm goes down every time I check the bottle. Fuck that asshole. He doesn't drink anything stronger than wine so he's likely to be pouring it down the drain. Why did he have to break the trust. He always said he'll protect me against moms violence and he's an alco himself. Maybe it's for my good but at least don't lie to me. I asked him about it but he denied it each time even tho it was so obvious. Even in my most drunken states, I remember where I left the bloody level of booze before shelving it okay.
Unfortunately alcohol seems to be one of the few things that help keep me happier and in check.

My mom is extremely nosey and manipulative it's almost psychopathic. I think about killing her almost everyday

Some of the friends i have irl they're so pretentious and think I don't notice. I am stupid but not that stupid. I can't chat with the nice ones everyday because they get too tired of me

For what both parents are I've decided I will punish them by a ctb wwith NO WARNING.

So which is more painful for a parent? I'll go with that. Missing son? Dead son? Missing will drive them nuts with anxiety then they'll finally hear I'm dead. Sound sweet

 

[patheticpartner]

Hi Lobster Salad, thank you for sharing, as I've learned more about you and your circumstances. You're a really kind and supportive person, and I'm saddened by what you have to go through every day, and by the lack/absence of a support system in your life.

I also read your other post about wanting to move out, and I know you're scared, but I think that going to a doctor for your suicidal thoughts (and maybe for your alcoholism too) could be a good step towards moving out. I don't know how to help you overcome the fear that prevents you from seeing a doctor, so I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I really empathize with you and wish the best for you.

I actually asked my parents and friends' parents over the years, "What would be worse? Having a missing child, or having a dead child?" and the consensus was that having a missing child was worse because of the the many horrific possibilities that their child may be experiencing, the uncertainty, and the lack of closure.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. It sounds stressful what you are going through. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.