So my parents just called me ... they know I have severe depression and anxiety and are so worried about me. Now I know their intentions are good, but OMG ... the we love you so much and we'd do anything for you and we want you to seek help is not what I need to hear. I have gone that route before to no avail and quite frankly, I am past the point of even wanting help. I don't. I want peace. And there is one way for me to attain that and that is to ctb. I'm trying to tell them subtly that this is what I want, I don't want a dime spent on me or an ounce of worry left on me. But when I told them no to the help, they said what else is there ... they don't even entertain suicide as an option. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that and I know if I did, it would turn into an even bigger deal. I don't want to hurt them and I know their intentions are good - they are one of the handful of reasons I haven't ctb yet only because I don't want to hurt them. I hope when I do ctb, my suicide note brings them peace because I can't continue on much longer in a world I don't want to be a part of. I just hope they will understand.
Well, any parents who love their sons/daughters would do the same but I understand your point. We just don't wanna hear phrases like "Don't give up. We love you. There's another way. You can do it." and so on.
If you're really planning to leave this world, you could also record some videos in which you could mention how much you love them, what you want them to do with your stuff, etc.
I did that when I tried to ctb last year, at least, and I'm planning to do it again if I ever ctb.
Wish you the best,
Hugs
If you're really planning to leave this world, you could also record some videos in which you could mention how much you love them, what you want them to do with your stuff, etc.
I did that when I tried to ctb last year, at least, and I'm planning to do it again if I ever ctb.
Wish you the best,
Hugs
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I am definitely planning on leaving, I just wish it was asap and not so in questions as to the how and when. But I definitely plan to at some point this year. I have been trying to take more pictures and even videos and post them on social media with the thought that they and others would have something to look back on. It's tough because it's not them, they aren't the reason i want to ctb and I'm thankful for the life and memories we have. I just want them to be happy for me that I'm at peace, they know I'm suffering. Just let me go ... please.
LunarPyotr
Похорони меня возле МКАДа
- Jul 4, 2020
- 495
That's why I always try to act normal around my parents and have been kinda avoiding them with the reasons like "I have a lot to do" or "I have a business meeting"..
I just don't want them to find out about my problems
I just don't want them to find out about my problems
yeah, they call me once a week and I'd feel bad not answering, but I try and play it cool even though they know how depressed I am. I don't want to hurt them, but I will when i ctb. I just want them to want me to find the peace I'm seeking and I know how I want to acheive that. I hope they will be okay after I'm gone, but I can't stay much longer
