Parents

[NPCaesar]

Hey guys, I dont want to waste alot of your time, so i will directly get to the point.
One of the biggest reasons why Iam still here are my parents. I love them more than anything in the world and I know, that they love me too. I fr couldnt have asked for better father/mother figures. And I know that if I decide to end it, they will mourn me for the rest of their lifes and idk if they could ever be happy again. On the other hand, I dont really want to live this life any longer and I also dont want to grow up and be a disappointment to them.
Can somebody please help me with this dilemma?

 

[ChronicPain23]

I also feel sorry for my parents, the most my death will be experienced by my mother and grandmother, I do not know how they will survive it, but for now I continue here and courage is lacking.

 

[FuneralCry]

The way I see it none of us are obligated to continue existing here and it would be so cruel to expect someone to stay here and suffer against their wishes. It's a personal decision deciding what to do, we are all destined to die and be forgotten about someday so it's up to the individual when they should free themselves from all the suffering.

 

[NPCaesar]

The way I see it none of us are obligated to continue existing here and it would be so cruel to expect someone to stay here and suffer against their wishes. It's a personal decision deciding what to do, we are all destined to die and be forgotten about someday so it's up to the individual when they should free themselves from all the suffering.

But isnt it disrespectful and ruthless towards them, for all theyve given me?

 

[sayire]

Hey guys, I dont want to waste alot of your time, so i will directly get to the point.
One of the biggest reasons why Iam still here are my parents. I love them more than anything in the world and I know, that they love me too. I fr couldnt have asked for better father/mother figures. And I know that if I decide to end it, they will mourn me for the rest of their lifes and idk if they could ever be happy again. On the other hand, I dont really want to live this life any longer and I also dont want to grow up and be a disappointment to them.
Can somebody please help me with this dilemma?

You have at least couple people who would miss you dearly if you are gone.

I do not know the details of your situation. but it sounds like if you feel comfortable to be fully honest with your parents maybe they can help you get over with whatever you are struggling with? I feel it might be worth a try, but you know your situation the best. you should take steps that can make YOUR situation better.

ctb is not an easy way out. it is very difficult to actually do it. so best to try all you got to figure things out first. we are here for you to find your path to peace whatever that maybe.

 

[TDF]

I'm sorry you feel so bad in life that has lead you here, sounds like you have a close relationship with your parents which is so nice. I agree with @sayire , sounds like perhaps your parents would be empathetic enough to be able to listen to you about your feelings potentially, have you given that a try, or seen a therapist of some kind? Why do you feel like you will disappoint them?

 

[NPCaesar]

You have at least couple people who would miss you dearly if you are gone.

I do not know the details of your situation. but it sounds like if you feel comfortable to be fully honest with your parents maybe they can help you get over with whatever you are struggling with? I feel it might be worth a try, but you know your situation the best. you should take steps that can make YOUR situation better.

ctb is not an easy way out. it is very difficult to actually do it. so best to try all you got to figure things out first. we are here for you to find your path to peace whatever that maybe.

But how do I tell them, I cant just walk up to them and say:"hey, I wanna ctb."

 

[sayire]

But how do I tell them, I cant just walk up to them and say:"hey, I wanna ctb."

if you cant think of any other way, that is one way to jump start it. one not so best way is better than no other way.

 

[h4yate]

But how do I tell them, I cant just walk up to them and say:"hey, I wanna ctb."

if going straight forward about it isnt your forte, writing indirectly to them might help. texts, letters, notes, whatever you so choose.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

On the other hand, I dont really want to live this life any longer and I also dont want to grow up and be a disappointment to them.
Can somebody please help me with this dilemma?

Um hopefully you are already grown up (over 18) to be on this site?

 

[NPCaesar]

I'm sorry you feel so bad in life that has lead you here, sounds like you have a close relationship with your parents which is so nice. I agree with @sayire , sounds like perhaps your parents would be empathetic enough to be able to listen to you about your feelings potentially, have you given that a try, or seen a therapist of some kind? Why do you feel like you will disappoint them?

Thanks for your answer, I just want to live a normal life, yk? Marry, have kids, chill with friends, and Iam just so scared, that it wont ever work out like that, because of all the shit that goes on in my life.

Um hopefully you are already grown up (over 18) to be on this site?

Yeah, of course dude. I turned 18 last December, 19 in this one.

 

[saddestbunny]

what do you need help with exactly here? are you waiting for someone to tell you what you should do in terms of seeking help or ctb? only you decide that. if you are over 18 then it's your autonomy and your decisions completely, I highly recommend waiting more years if you're younger because things can and do change, maybe not for the better but you don't know yet

if you need other resources there are guides, if you need people to talk I'm sure many here, including me, would be happy to have their dms open for you to vent

 

[sayire]

Thanks for your answer, I just want to live a normal life, yk? Marry, have kids, chill with friends, and Iam just so scared, that it wont ever work out like that, because of all the shit that goes on in my life.

it is too early for you to know for sure that you cant get all the things you wish to see in your life. again I do not know details of your situation, but surely you have a long way ahead to figure what your paths/doors are and make some effort into all of them before you can know with better certainty

 

[NPCaesar]

if you cant think of any other way, that is one way to jump start it. one not so best way is better than no other way.

I think you are right, the only reason I didnt open up to them so far, is because Iam scared that they wont understand and maybe even feel guilty, that they havent noticed, but i need to do it, tysm. It might seem like a tiny and obvious thing to do, to talk to your parents, but I didnt want them to have this heavy weight on their shoulder, but now I know what to do!
I once watched this viral video on yt, from this Tanctacrul guy, who said that this site is pure evil and everybody just wants to see you ctb, but you and all the other people, that have commented have proven that guy so wrong.

 

[TDF]

Thanks for your answer, I just want to live a normal life, yk? Marry, have kids, chill with friends, and Iam just so scared, that it wont ever work out like that, because of all the shit that goes on in my life

Perhaps say exactly that to your parents, you put that very nicely, and see what they say. Sounds like they will really appreciate you sharing your struggles with them.

But however way they react, If you haven't already I urge you to talk through your anxieties about the future with a therapist. Maybe talking about all your worries about your future can help you take it one step at a time, marriage and kids is so far away you don't have to worry about any of that u til you are ready, you know? They can talk to you about all the things you mentioned that happen in your life. And we can here also. I know what it's like to be scared shitless to screw up my life, it's a lot of anxiety and stress.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Thanks for your answer, I just want to live a normal life, yk? Marry, have kids, chill with friends, and Iam just so scared, that it wont ever work out like that, because of all the shit that goes on in my life.

Yeah, of course dude. I turned 18 last December, 19 in this one.

Ah ok, sorry just checking I'm sure you will not be a disappointment to your parents. And don't worry about wasting our time, talk as much as you like! Are you in college/uni now or working? It's not like marriage and kids are gonna be happening for a few years so don't overthink about all that stuff now. It's your choice, but I think you're just worrying about things unnecessarily but I don't know what else is going on in your life.

 

[Rational man]

Disappointed parents would happen if they had expectations of you. May I ask why you feel you may disappoint them.?. You'd no doubt grateful for the love they show, which is something many of us have been deprived of. My family were abusing narcissistic emotional bullies. You understand I carry the scars now!.

 

[NPCaesar]

Disappointed parents would happen if they had expectations of you. May I ask why you feel you may disappoint them.?. You'd no doubt grateful for the love they show, which is something many of us have been deprived of. My family were abusing narcissistic emotional bullies. You understand I carry the scars now!.

Iam so sorry to hear that, nobody deserves a family like that. Its so unfair, that there are some people, that are born and already have everything, while others are forced to live a life full of pain and suffering.
Iam just scared, that Iam forced to live as some weird dude, that no one loves and I dont think that my parents want to see me go down this path either. But thats not the reason I consider ctb, at least not the biggest one.

Ah ok, sorry just checking I'm sure you will not be a disappointment to your parents. And don't worry about wasting our time, talk as much as you like! Are you in college/uni now or working? It's not like marriage and kids are gonna be happening for a few years so don't overthink about all that stuff now. It's your choice, but I think you're just worrying about things unnecessarily but I don't know what else is going on in your life.

Hey, sorry for the late answer and thanks for asking. Iam still in school, in Germany school goes up to the 13th grade. So I will graduate next year.
Its just that I see so many people in my social circle or around me in general going on with their lifes (yk, getting gfs and shit), while Iam still here. Obviously this isnt the reason I consider ctb, there are other, bigger factors, which play a role.

Perhaps say exactly that to your parents, you put that very nicely, and see what they say. Sounds like they will really appreciate you sharing your struggles with them.

But however way they react, If you haven't already I urge you to talk through your anxieties about the future with a therapist. Maybe talking about all your worries about your future can help you take it one step at a time, marriage and kids is so far away you don't have to worry about any of that u til you are ready, you know? They can talk to you about all the things you mentioned that happen in your life. And we can here also. I know what it's like to be scared shitless to screw up my life, it's a lot of anxiety and stress.

Thanks for your advice and sorry for the late answer, I will try and talk to them, I just need some time to properly think this trough and prepare.