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strawberrydino

strawberrydino

Member
Sep 17, 2023
17
this is definitely probably a super common thing but my parents hate sleeping with each other. mostly because my dad snores or at least that what my mom says. but i feel like they're growing more distant since we moved for a bunch of compiling reasons.

my dad sleeps super late and stays up in the living room b/c moms sleeping in bedroom. he's very dissatisfied in his job and feels he never makes a contribution but feels like its his duty to make the most money in the house. he has a shit sleep schedule ive never seen he call or talk to a friend and idk. i have a complicated relationship in constantly antagonizing my dad. i think he never quit his smoking edition cuz almost every night he goes on a 20/30 min walk and sometimes smells like smoke, either way he drinks a bunch of whiskey while working/watching videos at night.

my mom has friends and seems also dissatisfied in how her life has turned out. she wanted to be a housewife but had to get a job after dads old company fired him a long time ago and i dont think we're financially stable. we dont own the house and my mom always jokes kind of passive aggressively about my dad needing to make more. i think the work distribution of household chores really is on my mom, i mean its not horrendous but she does all the cooking and most cleaning. my dad does the dishes. she doesnt like spending time in the house, shes always out at gym or lunches with her friends bc shes very sociable. which isnt bad, in fact probably better than a couple years back when she had very little contact with ppl in US. but i do miss her sort of selfishly i admit. on weekends she goes to neighboring city where we used to live with her friends and do gym and come back around 3pm. so shes out most the time and idk i miss seeing her in the morning i guess.

both my parents i dont think are in love. as far as my definitions go. no hugs no physical contact no i loves you(that one might be a culture thing). they always complain about each other. i think theyre together for the children and i hate it. i hate feelings like im holding them back especially since im not fulfilling expectations. i should also spend more time with them but i really struggle with peeling from status quo as it makes me feel like im being fake and they might think its abrupt and weird.

i want my parents to have good lives that they wanted to have but they both feel dissatisfied in their lives and marriage. it terrifies me thinking of a future like that. i really dont think its my place but my dad can not be happy sleeping like 5/6 hrs a night and idk i hate being here. bc im just draggin them down.

it feels like US gov and my personal world is crumbling. their marriage is crumbling and i dont know how or if i should stop it. they just sleep in seperate bedrooms now dont really talk to each other on the weekends. when my dad does talk abt smth from work(for probably the 5th time cuz he likes repeating stories) my mom just nods along. im sure theyre ok friends but it feels like they stopped caring abt marriage a long time ago.
 
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