Mr Myemna
Let me say words naked as flesh, tough as teeth.
- Aug 20, 2022
- 35
Some of you who read my other threads would know that I am a suicide survivor, one which is against the myth that surviving suicide causes you to start wanting to live. i believe people who attempt suicide are either traumatise from the pain of failure and want not to experience again, they regret the momentary pain, not the action itself, or they are forced to lie to get out of the horrible psych wards (like i had to).
I survived, and i still want to CTB, because i am not emotionally coerced, i am aware of my options, i know there is a path to recovery, and i willingly choose my other option, because that is what i want for myself, and i want no different course of action.
Last night, i got pretty amped up (i was waiting for that moment, i needed that emotional push to be able to handle the pain of suffocation from hanging), and when i tried to go outside my dad tried to forcefully keep me inside, i tried to push him away, he attempted to push me away by grabbing my neck, so in the moment i beat him up, but in that time my mom snuck behind us and locked the door and hid the key. after trying to escape from the window my uncles arrived and they tackled me and took me to the hospital where i got put to sleep(injection).
I feel that i messed up my only chance at ctb, they threw away my ropes, they're keeping tabs on me much more closely, i'm in so much pain
I'm sorry i can't be any more articulate right now, i'm not feeling very well. Please help me find another way to ctb, i'd love to know the options i have remaining.
I survived, and i still want to CTB, because i am not emotionally coerced, i am aware of my options, i know there is a path to recovery, and i willingly choose my other option, because that is what i want for myself, and i want no different course of action.
Last night, i got pretty amped up (i was waiting for that moment, i needed that emotional push to be able to handle the pain of suffocation from hanging), and when i tried to go outside my dad tried to forcefully keep me inside, i tried to push him away, he attempted to push me away by grabbing my neck, so in the moment i beat him up, but in that time my mom snuck behind us and locked the door and hid the key. after trying to escape from the window my uncles arrived and they tackled me and took me to the hospital where i got put to sleep(injection).
I feel that i messed up my only chance at ctb, they threw away my ropes, they're keeping tabs on me much more closely, i'm in so much pain
I'm sorry i can't be any more articulate right now, i'm not feeling very well. Please help me find another way to ctb, i'd love to know the options i have remaining.
