panic attacks and anxiety attacks killing me

[ever so lonely]

hi peoples, i think today is the day when i am going to have another go of the sn i have, i cant and wont suffer my brain anymore, it is untenable, i woke up yet again with panic attacks and crippling anxiety, common occurance these days, as it stands i havnt worked in ages, cant date, cant even go out or live a relatively normal life, so what is the point, therapy and meds havent done a thing, tho not for lack of trying, loved ones are dead, i mean i cant even do a food run nomore, as have a touch of agrophobia on top of it, brought about by lockdowns, i am sick of my mind tormenting me peoples, it has won, i cant take it nomore, i would sooner die than be this husk if a person that nobody likes or respects anyways, that doesnt and cant contribute also, i am so damaged, i just feel i want to curl up and die, i will give it another go me thinks, thanks for having me again, and making me feel part of a community, i certainly dont get that irl, just made to feel out of place and often in the way, some type of burden to people, truth is like many here i am sick of my mind torturing me day after day, and putting on an act that everything is ok, it never is, i hate the fact our minds are so powerful, take care people, i guess i dont know why im posting about this here, some would say well get it over with then, do it already, and stop talking about it, i kind of have to build up to it, i guess this is my way of doing that, my coping mechanism to lead upto it, hopefully each of us finds our path, anyways thanks for letting me contribute here, in some minor shitty little way, i appreciate it, god bless peoples,no matter what happens, and i guess the good thing about being successful is i will probably never find out if i was if i am dead, take care lovely people, god bless this forum, and the community of sasu,

 

[Letgo]

Wishing you peace and rest. You are being thought of.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

some would say well get it over with then, do it already, and stop talking about it,

If anyone says that, then they're a piece of shit. You have just as much of a right to vent here as everyone else. All of us build up to it in our own way, because rushing through a suicide attempt will only cause us more misery if it doesn't work. I've been building up to it for months, so take as much time as you need.

I'm sorry the anxiety and panic attacks are so horrible. My anxiety has been getting worse for me as well, but it's still not as bad as the depression. If you're sure that today is the right day, then good luck.

 

[lukas19]

That's exactly how i feel, anxiety has destroyed my life. Will be posting my goodbye thread as i drink my first glass of SN (approx 40 mins)

 

[unnormal9]

some would say well get it over with then, do it already, and stop talking about it,

I understand as I have had others say it to me as well. It is cruel and leaves the wayward in disarray.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you have to go through, it's true that there is no relief from suffering as long as one exists here and it's understandable wishing for peace from the torment existing brings. I hope you find the freedom you search for.

 

[Valky]

Whatever decision you make. It is valid. No one will judge you.

I am sorry for all the suffering you had and have to endure. I wish you all the best, whatever that will be <3