Pan

[Pan]

I have no friends left and don't know what to do. With my physician retiring, it would seem that things are adding up to ctb.

 

[noctiva]

I hear you, Pan. Isolation, loneliness and no sense of belonging anymore.. it torments the soul and squashes all hope. I am sorry you feel this way, it is very difficult to live in isolation, no one to talk to and no one who cares/ whom you can care for.
I am so sorry that you feel the same pain many many users here feel. Know that you are not alone in your despair and in your pain.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

 

[Skyview]

I have no friends left and don't know what to do. With my physician retiring, it would seem that things are adding up to ctb.

I'm not perfect by any means , but if I can help you I shall .

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

Hi Pan, I also read your other post about the death of your wife and the assault on the nurse. I hope you are paying attention to the delirium health issue. Age does break the body later in life. I hope you are also in talks with a counsellor to guide you in the right direction. We are here to support and listen to you but we are not a substitute to a health care professional that can take care of you in the best possible terms. *hugs*

 

[Pan]

Hi noctiva: thanx for your support; just can't seem to rise above the massive amount of guilt I feel regarding the whole incident at hospital. Don't know what to do; my neighbors know about what happened at hospital; I am ashamed to be outside now and have become agoraphobic. Have you read post of my delerium?

 

[jgm63]

Well, we can be your friends if you wish....

NOTE :
If you want to talk to anyone "privately" (instead of posting on this thread), then you can use "PM" (PM = personal message, a bit like sending someone an email)

You need to make at least 5 posts and need to have been active for at least 24 hours to get access.
If you don't know what to post, you can post in some of the "games" threads (see "offtopic" section).
Once you have PM access, when you hover the mouse pointer over a user name, you will see a "start conversation" button….

 

[noctiva]

Hi noctiva: thanx for your support; just can't seem to rise above the massive amount of guilt I feel regarding the whole incident at hospital. Don't know what to do; my neighbors know about what happened at hospital; I am ashamed to be outside now and have become agoraphobic. Have you read post of my delerium?

I just answered your other post, and I am heartbroken for you. I am sorry you are in this position, isolated and alone, your thoughts revolving around ctb. Feel hugged and know that you have found a forum full of wonderful kind and compassionate people that will support you and listen to you, whether you decide to ctb or whether you decide to give recovery a try.
Take care of yourself.

 

[XoXoNae]

I would love to PM with you!! Please don't hesitate

I'm not perfect by any means , but if I can help you I shall .

 

[Skyview]

I would love to PM with you!! Please don't hesitate

Thanks , I would if I could , need to post more or wait 24 hrs to enable

 

[XoXoNae]

Pan,
Who gives any fucks about what they think!! YOU WERE SICK how is that humiliating? Please explain love!!

Hi noctiva: thanx for your support; just can't seem to rise above the massive amount of guilt I feel regarding the whole incident at hospital. Don't know what to do; my neighbors know about what happened at hospital; I am ashamed to be outside now and have become agoraphobic. Have you read post of my delerium?

 

[Pan]

Hi Pan, I also read your other post about the death of your wife and the assault on the nurse. I hope you are paying attention to the delirium health issue. Age does break the body later in life. I hope you are also in talks with a counsellor to guide you in the right direction. We are here to support and listen to you but we are not a substitute to a health care professional that can take care of you in the best possible terms. *hugs*

That you have mentioned age breaking the body tells me you understand. I am 64 years old and, quite frankly, eagerly await death. I take some comfort in the Bhagavad Gita, which emphasizes reincarnation and eternal life.

Pan,
Who gives any fucks about what they think!! YOU WERE SICK how is that humiliating? Please explain love!!

For me, noctiva, it is humiliating; I notice people backing away from me, almost as if I had bubonic plague...I am an older man (64). Delerium is not unusual for elderly gents like me...I fact, the condition is quite common...that they would charge me in the wake of my dear wife's death (25.5years we were married) shocked me, particularly because the medical report indicated that I was sleepwalking...perusal of data on subject proves it is common enough...appreciate your support, nevertheless!!!

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

That you have mentioned age breaking the body tells me you understand. I am 64 years old and, quite frankly, eagerly await death. I take some comfort in the Bhagavad Gita, which emphasizes reincarnation and eternal life.

I'm impressed sir that you find comfort in the teachings of Bhagavad Gita that is a core scripture of Hinduism. I'm not religious but I've read many texts of different religions and I did read and almost memorized several verses of Gita in my teens.

The delirium episode that you had does not reflect your character and it is a recognized medical syndrome. There is no shame or sorry in having that. I don't know which country you're from but the law should not find you guilty of the assault. Just keep yourself positive, you're young enough, and please listen to medical advice, especially when the mental health is compromised.

 

[Pan]

I hear you, Pan. Isolation, loneliness and no sense of belonging anymore.. it torments the soul and squashes all hope. I am sorry you feel this way, it is very difficult to live in isolation, no one to talk to and no one who cares/ whom you can care for.
I am so sorry that you feel the same pain many many users here feel. Know that you are not alone in your despair and in your pain.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

Ye

I'm impressed sir that you find comfort in the teachings of Bhagavad Gita that is a core scripture of Hinduism. I'm not religious but I've read many texts of different religions and I did read and almost memorized several verses of Gita in my teens.

The delirium episode that you had does not reflect your character and it is a recognized medical syndrome. There is no shame or sorry in having that. I don't know which country you're from but the law should not find you guilty of the assault. Just keep yourself positive, you're young enough, and please listen to medical advice, especially when the mental health is compromised.

s, the Bhagavad Gita is, as shopenhaur says, is the comfort of my life and my death. I Know that there is a life beyond this death; I read it nghtly, like others might read the Bible. I am from the u.s.; in the demented political climate occurring here, things have fallen apart.
I

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

Yes, the Bhagavad Gita is, as shopenhaur says, is the comfort of my life and my death. I Know that there is a life beyond this death; I read it nghtly, like others might read the Bible. I am from the u.s.; in the demented political climate occurring here, things have fallen apart.

Yes, Schopenhauer said that about Hindu scripture Upanishads. A news from this year that you may find related:

WATCH: PM Modi quoted German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer while unveiling the World's largest Bhagavad Gita. Here's what he said - Republic World

While addressing an event at ISKON temple in Delhi to unveil a giant Bhagavad Gita, running into 670 pages and weighing 800 kg, at the temple, PM Narendra Modi quoted a German philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer, who acknowledged the values of the religious script calling it 'the most beneficial...

www.republicworld.com

 

[Pan]

Yes, and many thanx for reply...Schopenhauer was heavily influenced by the Gita...I take comfort in its' attitude regarding life and death.we have lived trillions of times over - as ourselves - and will continue, each time a little better, a little stronger - on and on and with n. According to the Gita, if you died, a universe would be destroyed. We are at the center of all things.

Pan,
Who gives any fucks about what they think!! YOU WERE SICK how is that humiliating? Please explain love!!

Hi xoxonae, sorry for not replying sooner; Am a novice with all of this...I feel shunned and isolated; resent my lawyer's lackluster defense...I try to ignore the shunning, but feel like a piece of shit all around; I guess that is how THEY want it. As a retired Lbrary director,I am normally as mild-mannered as a herd of sheep. That my dear wife died the day before my delerium meant nothingto them at all—I was a criminal who deserved punishment.

Yes, Schopenhauer said that about Hindu scripture Upanishads. A news from this year that you may find related:

WATCH: PM Modi quoted German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer while unveiling the World's largest Bhagavad Gita. Here's what he said - Republic World

While addressing an event at ISKON temple in Delhi to unveil a giant Bhagavad Gita, running into 670 pages and weighing 800 kg, at the temple, PM Narendra Modi quoted a German philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer, who acknowledged the values of the religious script calling it 'the most beneficial...

www.republicworld.com

Many thanx, thing with feathers, for that interesting article about the Gita; as a retired library director, there is, to my mind, no book as illuminating nor as uplifting. Like I said early on, I consult it nightly like others read the Bible. I know too that suicide is implicitly forgiven, as this life is not the only life. So many talk about death as nothingness, yet, how is that possible? One cannot conceive of nothingness; to my mind then, it cannot exist. Thanx again for that article!!!

 

[Pan]

Well, we can be your friends if you wish....

NOTE :
If you want to talk to anyone "privately" (instead of posting on this thread), then you can use "PM" (PM = personal message, a bit like sending someone an email)

You need to make at least 5 posts and need to have been active for at least 24 hours to get access.
If you don't know what to post, you can post in some of the "games" threads (see "offtopic" section).
Once you have PM access, when you hover the mouse pointer over a user name, you will see a "start conversation" button….

Hi. All of this remains relatively new to me...as a retired librarian accustomed to books, I easily get confused regarding messaging, etc. hell, I don't even know what "code" is. My neighbor has a job working on code; but as for myself, I am as dense as a post. She could be working with hieroglyphics for all I know. By the way, what exactly is a thread?

 

[jgm63]

This is a thread. It has a title and an author, and 1 or more "posts", each post being a block of text
This reply I'm making now is a post.

"Code" is just a series of instructions for a machine (a computer) to carry out.

e.g. In simplistic terms, something like :
Fetch value from storage address 1, place into "register" A
Fetch value from storage address 2, place into "register" B
Add registers A and B, put result in register C
Store value in register C in storage address 3

But usually the code is written in "shorthand" mnemonics, rather than in plain english, eg the above might be something like :
LOAD 1,A
LOAD 2,B
ADD A,B,C
STORE C,3