Help (Pagan only) Will CTB disappoint the gods?

[IamFree]

I'm a pagan who is working with the Norse Allfather.
Though I am sure that He knows I was fighting all my life to not disappoint Him, and I am trying my best to be brave like a warrior till the end, I'm still worried that my STB would disappoint Him.
I can't ask Him via prayers because I am ashamed of this- will He think that I'm a coward and therefore I don't deserve to be His child?

 

[Lauriso]

OK, so you said pagan only but I'm still gonna comment despite not being a pagan. Think of a healthy family. Say a child is feeling scared and desperate. But they're ashamed of sharing that with their father because "He will think that I'm a coward and therefore I don't deserve to be His child". Does that sound like a father you'd want to be related to anyway?

Back when I was trying to find God in Christianity, I came to a point where I realized that a God who wants me to shove belief down my own throat is not a God I'd respect and want to hang out with anyway. Eventually I abandoned Christianity because I did not find any evidence that it is true. If there really is a God who will judge me for that, he can go fuck himself, thankyouverymuch. I'm not entirely sure this example will be something you can relate to, but those are my two cents.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

You'll be okay.

 

[y'ffre]

I am a pagan too. And I felt the same while I was suicidal I didn't want to disappoint the gods and/or goddesses. I am not suicidal right now.
And I suggest you tell him everything. I don't think that he will judge you.
You don't deserve to be his child? But you are his child everyone is his child I mean he is the Allfather.
He is supposed to be very wise right? Even if we don't judge people like the pro-lifers why would he judge you?

Pray to him and tell him everything including this worry that he will be disappointed in you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Really hope I don't come across as disrespectful- I don't know about your faith... Do you not think he already knows what you are thinking? Or, do you have to actually address him for him to know?

I don't see any shame in asking for help In your prayers. If you had a child that was struggling with something, wouldn't you want to be the first person they turned to for support?

Regarding suicide, I really have no idea. It's something I struggle with myself. I don't even know I REALLY believe in a God but I'm still fearful, if/incase there is one and they disapprove. It's a hard thing to come to peace with.