Hirokami
Out of order
- Feb 21, 2021
- 607
My anxiety has always been a huge factor when it came to my suicidal ideations. I need everything to be resolved almost immediately or I'm convinced the world is ending. I have a hard time distracting myself when it comes to my anxious thoughts, so it ends up getting worse. If I die, then so does the anxiety. There is no cure for generalized anxiety disorder as it's so broad. If it were a specific phobia, that would be a lot easier to conquer for me.
And also, I'm convinced my flavor of GAD is neurological in nature. Yes, there are childhood events that didn't help. Though, as I've stated in another post, I've always been a ticking time bomb. I've tried therapy, though that didn't 100% work. Yes, I'm not having constant episodes, but I still worry about every single inconvenience. I'm still thinking people will leave me over arguments, even though it's clear they just need space as they're still responding to me.
I constantly need reinsurance and can have the worst breakdowns if I'm unsure. I even annoyed people and came across as controlling. I hate this fucking condition so much and it's a shame that only death seems to be the cure for it.
Is there a way for my mind to be quiet for once before it's too late? Breathing doesn't help me with constant worriation and journaling only does so much.
And also, I'm convinced my flavor of GAD is neurological in nature. Yes, there are childhood events that didn't help. Though, as I've stated in another post, I've always been a ticking time bomb. I've tried therapy, though that didn't 100% work. Yes, I'm not having constant episodes, but I still worry about every single inconvenience. I'm still thinking people will leave me over arguments, even though it's clear they just need space as they're still responding to me.
I constantly need reinsurance and can have the worst breakdowns if I'm unsure. I even annoyed people and came across as controlling. I hate this fucking condition so much and it's a shame that only death seems to be the cure for it.
Is there a way for my mind to be quiet for once before it's too late? Breathing doesn't help me with constant worriation and journaling only does so much.
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