Venting overdosing on time

[oldbulllee]

this is my first post, so please forgive if me if i make any mistakes. i'm not entirely sure how this all works

i feel like i have expired. there is nothing left for me to do. i'm stuck in this endless cycle of passive and active SI. i've never processed any of my emotions— at best, i forget about them for a little while. what the fuck does it even mean to work through things? how am i supposed to metabolise thoughts and feelings? i fear that all of it has irrevocably become a part of me. i can't purge it. sometimes i feel like my chest might collapse in on itself due to the sheer weight of the burden that it is to carry this shit around with me every day. i'm exhausted. i can't feel anything anymore. i want to go. the worst part is i can't even care about others' reactions to my passing anymore, as i simply lack the energy. not that i delude myself into thinking a great deal of people would be upset. i feel transparent. i haven't touched anyone in so long that i'm pretty sure your hands would pass right through me. what will they do with my body, when they find it to merely be smoke?

i just want to go. i'm sick of dragging myself through every day, hoping it'll be slightly better than the previous one

 

[FuneralCry]

It's understandable just wishing to be gone as it certainly can be so tiring feeling trapped in this world. But anyway, I wish you the best.

 

[noalarms]

I think I understand your experience. We spend so much time in our own heads, try to understand our emotions and why we feel the way we do. I think I have just accepted that this world is not for me, and that passing is the best thing I can do.

 

[oldbulllee]

I think I understand your experience. We spend so much time in our own heads, try to understand our emotions and why we feel the way we do. I think I have just accepted that this world is not for me, and that passing is the best thing I can do.

one of my teachers once told me we would need a second head just to make sense of our first one, and it's always stuck with me

 

[noalarms]

one of my teachers once told me we would need a second head just to make sense of our first one, and it's always stuck with me

I think what we all want is to have all of our thoughts, not matter how strange or depressing they may be, validated by people who have experienced things similar to us. That is the closest thing to a "second head" that any of us will ever have.

 

[Zegers]

I also want to leave, hopefully this year. I feel very testy most days.