Overdose

[Jolene40]

My health symptoms are progressing so much I can hardly cope a minute longer. I am desperate for it to stop. Everything I read says od is unreliable/ liable to failure. My dad died of overdose but I don't know what he took. I think it was a combination of sleeping tabs and ADs. I read the pph and it sounds like nothing is particularly reliable.
I have malabsorbtion issues and a horrible ileostomy bag which is overactive - things come rushing through too fast basically so I worry it wouldn't work.
I want a fast option to escape what is happening to me. This seems the less scary of them all
All I want is to be well. I don't want this. All I want is to be here for my little one.

 

[Soul]

I'm so sorry, Jolene40. I don't want you to suffer this way.
My mother OD'd on pills too. Different stuff was more readily available then, so it was easier to ctb.
But I understand that that's not what you want. I wish we could take this suffering away from you.
How old is your little one?

 

[Jolene40]

I'm so sorry, Jolene40. I don't want you to suffer this way.
My mother OD'd on pills too. Different stuff was more readily available then, so it was easier to ctb.
But I understand that that's not what you want. I wish we could take this suffering away from you.
How old is your little one?

Soul you always provide the kindest replies, thank you. He is 7. I know how horrific it is to abandon a child and I would never ever go there until I could take no more. I am so close and all hope is gone I will get better. I'm in such a bad way and the emotional toll on top of horrific physical suffering is so much to cope with. He has a very loving father stepmum and siblings. There are also extended family members on fathers side close by.
How old were you when your mum passed Soul ?

 

[Soul]

Jolene beautiful, you aren't abandoning him! You didn't choose any of this, and even if you pick the time to leave it isn't because you're abandoning anyone. Your boy knows that, and he knows you love him, and he'll always have that no matter what.
I wish we could do something to help you feel more comfortable. [gentle hugs]

 

[JoeFailure]

My health symptoms are progressing so much I can hardly cope a minute longer. I am desperate for it to stop. Everything I read says od is unreliable/ liable to failure. My dad died of overdose but I don't know what he took. I think it was a combination of sleeping tabs and ADs. I read the pph and it sounds like nothing is particularly reliable.
I have malabsorbtion issues and a horrible ileostomy bag which is overactive - things come rushing through too fast basically so I worry it wouldn't work.
I want a fast option to escape what is happening to me. This seems the less scary of them all
All I want is to be well. I don't want this. All I want is to be here for my little one.

I'm so sorry. I wish you were well too, you sound like a wonderful mom.

I just don't understand it all, why so many people got to be happy and healthy and everything they wanted in life and some of us got put into situations like these.

 

[Jolene40]

Jolene beautiful, you aren't abandoning him! You didn't choose any of this, and even if you pick the time to leave it isn't because you're abandoning anyone. Your boy knows that, and he knows you love him, and he'll always have that no matter what.
I wish we could do something to help you feel more comfortable. [gentle hugs]

I posted anonymously on this group I found- children of parents lost by suicide. I asked if any had lost parents who were very unwell physically with degenerative disease/s who then took their lives. I asked if they felt less hurt and anger in that scenario ( where there were awful health issues) and those who replied said no they didn't.

I personally feel 'mental illness' is extremely horrific and should be treated the same as those with physical illness btw. Mental health issues are a physical illness we just don't have the tools to measure it. You know how it is though. It's more acceptable if we can point at it and see it.

I'm so sorry. I wish you were well too, you sound like a wonderful mom.

I just don't understand it all, why so many people got to be happy and healthy and everything they wanted in life and some of us got put into situations like these.

What a lovely thing to say, thankyou.
I feel the same. I'm so angry thinking about it.

 

[tootired]

sorry to see this