I_love_to_bake
Student
- Feb 27, 2020
- 167
Hello wonderful community,
As someone who has struggled greatly with social anxiety throughout my life, I've always wanted to meet someone who has overcome this struggle. I created this thread to share my story and hear other people's stories so that we can help eachother forward.
The first thing that needs to be said is that practice is of course the most important to being more comfortable around other people. And healthy practice requires healthy people to practice with. Loneliness is brutal and something I know many of us struggle with, I personally believe that it is so important for you to try and reach out if you can to people in your life.
Feel the fear and let it pass. Social situations might always make you nervous. That's okay. Remember that pushing past the fear makes you in control, rather than letting the emotion control you. I feel so much more confident when I choose to say no to my fears. Pay attention to how you feel after the conversations you feel.
Ultimately, we all struggle more than we can handle, and this breaks us down into people we don't want to be. Applying this concept to the way you empathize with your fellow people is, in my opinion, absolutely critical to succesful communication. And it's also critical for understanding your own personal limitations. Knowing your limits is important for living a less stressful life. Be patient with yourself, and kind.
Here is a numbered list of what has helped me!
1. Don't ruminate.
This applies to both before and after the conversation. With our social anxiety, we overthink with a negative spin, so it is better to focus our mind on other things. As you walk up to someone, try not to anticipate what they are about to say or even what you will say. In general, try not to predict responses. Try to communicate your direct feelings as clearly as possible, and trust that the other person will understand what you are saying without lengthy description.
2. Eye contact
It's hard for me, usually I make eye contact when listening but not when talking. It's important to atleast glance their expression when you are done talking to read their emotional response to what you've said. The more intimate the relationship, the more eye contact appropriate.
3. Perspective switching
You probably already do this, but try to envision the world from the other person's perspective and how things relate to them. Understand that other people's reactions and emotions are independent of you. As the saying goes, how people treat you says more about them than you. So, just try to understand that not every negative emotion or reaction was caused by you.
4. Analyze and challenge your negative thoughts
This one is a general tip for anxiety. But it is the foundation of overcoming anxiety. Being mindful of our thoughts towards other people is so important. Are you being positive or negative? Shining a positive light on people with my thoughts definitely affects my communication
5. Open up
If someone else is revealing intimate information, it is natural to follow up with similarly intimate details. Think about communication like energy flowing back and forth, communicating to match the other persons energy levels is a natural way to connect.
I'd love to hear what you guys have to say about the topic of social anxiety!
As someone who has struggled greatly with social anxiety throughout my life, I've always wanted to meet someone who has overcome this struggle. I created this thread to share my story and hear other people's stories so that we can help eachother forward.
The first thing that needs to be said is that practice is of course the most important to being more comfortable around other people. And healthy practice requires healthy people to practice with. Loneliness is brutal and something I know many of us struggle with, I personally believe that it is so important for you to try and reach out if you can to people in your life.
Feel the fear and let it pass. Social situations might always make you nervous. That's okay. Remember that pushing past the fear makes you in control, rather than letting the emotion control you. I feel so much more confident when I choose to say no to my fears. Pay attention to how you feel after the conversations you feel.
Ultimately, we all struggle more than we can handle, and this breaks us down into people we don't want to be. Applying this concept to the way you empathize with your fellow people is, in my opinion, absolutely critical to succesful communication. And it's also critical for understanding your own personal limitations. Knowing your limits is important for living a less stressful life. Be patient with yourself, and kind.
Here is a numbered list of what has helped me!
1. Don't ruminate.
This applies to both before and after the conversation. With our social anxiety, we overthink with a negative spin, so it is better to focus our mind on other things. As you walk up to someone, try not to anticipate what they are about to say or even what you will say. In general, try not to predict responses. Try to communicate your direct feelings as clearly as possible, and trust that the other person will understand what you are saying without lengthy description.
2. Eye contact
It's hard for me, usually I make eye contact when listening but not when talking. It's important to atleast glance their expression when you are done talking to read their emotional response to what you've said. The more intimate the relationship, the more eye contact appropriate.
3. Perspective switching
You probably already do this, but try to envision the world from the other person's perspective and how things relate to them. Understand that other people's reactions and emotions are independent of you. As the saying goes, how people treat you says more about them than you. So, just try to understand that not every negative emotion or reaction was caused by you.
4. Analyze and challenge your negative thoughts
This one is a general tip for anxiety. But it is the foundation of overcoming anxiety. Being mindful of our thoughts towards other people is so important. Are you being positive or negative? Shining a positive light on people with my thoughts definitely affects my communication
5. Open up
If someone else is revealing intimate information, it is natural to follow up with similarly intimate details. Think about communication like energy flowing back and forth, communicating to match the other persons energy levels is a natural way to connect.
I'd love to hear what you guys have to say about the topic of social anxiety!
