tauntisha

tauntisha

i found solace in my own solitude.
Aug 11, 2024
37
Last night i couldve been finally free, i was determined in my methods to ctb.

my method in question was self immolation, i had soaked a set of clothing in a mixture ofpetrol and industrial grade paint stripper, and filled up 2 1L bottles of the same fluid, planning to cover myself at the location.

i would then film a video of me identifying myself so i wont pose as hindrance to the indentification & then place my letter, identification & the last of my money in a fireproof envelope, placing it a distance away from me.


then it happened, fear and horror rushed through my body. SI had won

i feel so fucking disappointed in myself.
 
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C

CantDoIt

Warlock
Jul 18, 2024
702
SI is so damn powerful even with the most peaceful of methods, I am so sorry that you had to go through that disappointment. You chose a really intense method and honestly it's no wonder that you felt your SI kick in.
 
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MatrixPrisoner

MatrixPrisoner

Enlightened
Jul 8, 2023
1,543
I think immolation requires the most will power against SI out of any method. People trapped in theTowers during 9/11 chose to jump over being incinerated to death.
 
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Evelyn Lane

Evelyn Lane

banned
Aug 2, 2024
330
You said you wanted pain, yet you felt SI?
 
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depressia

depressia

скоро
Feb 29, 2024
77
а мне кажеттся что мой Si ослабевает когда я пьян и плохое настроение...и мысли в голове что если бы под рукой был SN я бы выпил нераздумывая....но это врятли сработало бы без голодания
 
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opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Eating Disordered Junkie
Jun 2, 2024
1,071
Sending you so much love. It's not a personal failure. You chose an extremely tough to carry out method, not dogging on it whatsoever, I think you are brave as fuck regardless. Here for you if you wanna chat.
 
tauntisha

tauntisha

i found solace in my own solitude.
Aug 11, 2024
37
Sending you so much love. It's not a personal failure. You chose an extremely tough to carry out method, not dogging on it whatsoever, I think you are brave as fuck regardless. Here for you if you wanna chat.
thank you very much, im currently reasearching methods as we speak
 
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