Overbearing parents who crushed you, but let a younger sibling survive?

[garby]

Any relation to the title?

I turn 24 in 8 days, yet I can't forget how different mine and my younger brothers childhood was.

My parents sit outside, making jokes about how my younger brother is successful and how I'm a failure, how I'm the world's largest piece of shit. They're not aware that I hear everything.

To sum it up simply: I would be out at 9pm, my mum would call me, she'd scream and cry into the phone about how I'm am ungrateful piece of shit, my dad would start yelling about how I'm ruining everyone's night, I'd try to make sense of it all, but it meant nothing to them. I'd try tell them that 12 year olds are our past 9pm, how I deserve to have freedom. I'd complain about how much money they would take from me. I'd complain about how little freedom I had.

My two year younger brother turned 18, he was out at clubs until 5am, my parents paid for his education, they did everything in their power to support him, no matter what he needed to wanted.

I could honestly write a book about the unfairness between me and my younger brother: everything from cleaning the house top to bottom because his girlfriend was coming over to having my ass torn apart because I was out past 10pm when I was 17-18 and working 40 hours a week. Everything from me having absolutely no support to my parents paying for my brother's tuition and wondering why I'm a failure. Everything leading back to when I was as young as 11 years old and having my parents ask their friend to pick my brother up from school, but I'd arrive home an hour later because I was told I could walk.

I went to work one Saturday, went out with friends, then came home at 8:30am Sunday morning. I came home to literally the only time I had seen my dad cry. Why was he crying? Because I came home 10 minutes after they had the family dog out down.

Who here has never had a family?

 

[Throwaway563078]

I have one but it's a very dysfunctional toxic family.

 

[Its time its time]

Buddy, you are in a complicated situation.
I guess there must be a reason why your family is treating you this way? Maybe something that happened in the past? Highly unlikely that they started treating you like this since the day you were born.

 

[garby]

Maybe something that happened in the past? Highly unlikely that they started treating you like this since the day you were born.

I had an older brother. He died 9 days after birth.
I am technically the middle child. Despite being the oldest that lived to alcoholic and pot obsessed parents.

 

[whatever1111]

Any relation to the title?

I turn 24 in 8 days, yet I can't forget how different mine and my younger brothers childhood was.

My parents sit outside, making jokes about how my younger brother is successful and how I'm a failure, how I'm the world's largest piece of shit. They're not aware that I hear everything.

To sum it up simply: I would be out at 9pm, my mum would call me, she'd scream and cry into the phone about how I'm am ungrateful piece of shit, my dad would start yelling about how I'm ruining everyone's night, I'd try to make sense of it all, but it meant nothing to them. I'd try tell them that 12 year olds are our past 9pm, how I deserve to have freedom. I'd complain about how much money they would take from me. I'd complain about how little freedom I had.

My two year younger brother turned 18, he was out at clubs until 5am, my parents paid for his education, they did everything in their power to support him, no matter what he needed to wanted.

I could honestly write a book about the unfairness between me and my younger brother: everything from cleaning the house top to bottom because his girlfriend was coming over to having my ass torn apart because I was out past 10pm when I was 17-18 and working 40 hours a week. Everything from me having absolutely no support to my parents paying for my brother's tuition and wondering why I'm a failure. Everything leading back to when I was as young as 11 years old and having my parents ask their friend to pick my brother up from school, but I'd arrive home an hour later because I was told I could walk.

I went to work one Saturday, went out with friends, then came home at 8:30am Sunday morning. I came home to literally the only time I had seen my dad cry. Why was he crying? Because I came home 10 minutes after they had the family dog out down.

Who here has never had a family?

check out this book If you find the will

Games People Play (book) - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

it's about how neurotic people play games/roles in the family, society, etc.,
and among other things, I think you will find the explanation of the 'scenario' you explained in your family - you being sacrificed by your family etc. I dont own the book so I'm not able to tell what pages are relevant for you, but I remeber well it was spoken about

Buddy, you are in a complicated situation.
I guess there must be a reason why your family is treating you this way? Maybe something that happened in the past? Highly unlikely that they started treating you like this since the day you were born.

on the contrary, there's probably no reason.
narcissistic people dont treat other people as legitimate persons, they view them as an extension of themselves, to be used according to their twisted needs. its sad, but it happens :/

 

[NoOneKnows]

me, but I am in such physical pain due to the life long abuse and neglect , I cant even begin to describe it, also it would set me back to feel the trauma, and it would take hours(days) to get back and be able to do anything at all. Honestly, I would prefer to be orphan.
Im sorry you too did not experience proper unconditional love and nurture from your family.
I would advice you not to try to rationalize -why me, why they did this, why they said that? This would take so much time, and you will never find satisfactory answers, simply because these type of parents are very sick individuals. And theres no help for that.

 

[whatever1111]

me, but I am in such physical pain due to the life long abuse and neglect , I cant even begin to describe it, also it would set me back to feel the trauma, and it would take hours(days) to get back and be able to do anything at all. Honestly, I would prefer to be orphan.
Im sorry you too did not experience proper unconditional love and nurture from your family.
I would advice you not to try to rationalize -why me, why they did this, why they said that? This would take so much time, and you will never find satisfactory answers, simply because these type of parents are very sick individuals. And theres no help for that.

I agree, people in this kind of situation should move away from their family as fast as possible, if they still have the energy needed

 

[Donewith_]

Sorry.. that seems like a lot to go through. It is true that some parents treat their children unequally.. some treat elder sibling better, some the younger one, some treat girl child the better , some the boys. This unfairness exists, thats true.
I am the youngest in my family, was always told that I was cleverer than my brother. Which i know now is not true. But many think the same because I was given that confidence and I believed it to be true, acted that way. I believe my brother must have felt very bad because of this treatment. But because I was the youngest, I have to get adjusted in all almost all the things.. for the only reason.. I should respect my elders be it brother or whoever. I endured emotional abuse from childhood because of my father, he left us. He chose to raise , give his love to his nephews, nieces but not his toddler kids. Crappy things like this happen.. but it is what it is.
It's hard to endure abuse from family. Before two years , when I was facing emotional abuse from my family, my mental state has gone to shit.. worse than now...I mean it. I moved out to another city to work on my dreams..things changed.. got a bit better. Sometimes , it helps. May be consider to move out if thats an option for you , build your own life. Do it for yourself.