Venting Over complication

[SinisterKid]

The human condition never ceases to amaze me. We have a great tendency to just over complicate everything instead of just keeping it simple. I see so many here asking all kinds of questions about a great many things, most of which are not actually helping anything or anyone in their goals.

Take myself. I knew nothing of suicide until I became suicidal. To me, dying was taking a shit load of pills and not waking up again. All the methods I have read about here and elsewhere are all new to me. My own suicide 3 years ago was simple. No anti emetics to deal with potential puking, no benzos or booze to help, knew fuck all about survival instinct, never heard of it until reading about here. Nothing to complicate the issue. Crush em, mix em, down em, go to sleep, which is exactly how it happened. I was about 20 minutes out in my timing. Schoolboy error But my ignorance in many ways, was a good thing. I kept it simple.

Now I have my method, what I need to succeed but there are a lot of moving parts so to speak. If I started to take into account a lot of what I have read, then it can get overwhelmingly complicated. So it has to be kept as simple as possible but also effective.

I get people are scared of failure and being left disabled or a vegetable or a burden to others, but in this game, its always a risk you are going to have to face. No method is guaranteed to kill you/me. There is a chance it wont work out, no matter how meticulous our planning might be. There is always that one little variable that we did not count on. Shit, if someone can jump out of a plane at 10,000 feet, have a parachute fail on them and still survive, there is always a small chance that shooting yourself at point blank range will also go wrong. Drink your potion, who knows what might happen? But constantly thinking about it is not helping me at all.

I think we all need to ask ourselves why we question so much of what we read. Mostly, I suspect, its fear. Totally understandable. Dying is not to be taken lightly. No one knows what, if anything, comes next. No one knows if you will convulse before your brain gives up the ghost. The 6.40 from London might be running late, so your plans are going to need revising. Its a gamble folks, just like life. You roles your dice and takes you chances. If you have a million and one questions and what ifs, the chances are you might not be as ready as you think you are. I am in no rush to die. I was 3 years ago. I was 2 months ago. But today, I am not. Partly because after all my reading here, I have some doubts in my mind and a few nagging fears. But I know that is starting to over complicate things again, so I need to get back to keeping it simple. I have no more questions that need answers. I am good to go. No amount of pissing about on forums is going to change that. Nothing I can read now will make me change my mind on my method. I am just killing time before killing myself.

So I have no idea if jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge will result in a painful death or not. I have no idea if snorting heroin is a good idea or not. Neither does anyone else here if they are totally honest with you. They can only really offer you a opinion on whatever it is you are asking. I do know that sitting in a bathtub full of piranhas sounds fucking painful and probably is not a great idea. I do know that hanging is not easy [I tried] I know that a very large cocktail of Ami and codeine and propranalol will put you in a coma or kill you. I know that for me, 20g of SN should do the job if I get everything else right. Whether or not it will leave me blind, or deaf, or anything else is not something I need to know or want to know. I have always said, the third time will be my last. If I dont die, then its for a reason. 3 attempts with zero success is telling me something. But if I keep it as simple as I can, then I have a fair to middling chance of getting it right. I am prepared to take those odds.

Toodle Pip

 

[Stan]

Spot on Sinister!

Taking a slight tangent from your post I'm going to share also some thoughts.

This is the biggest decision in your life. If you are not going to do the research fully by yourself and know the details, risks (and how to mitigate them) and look externally from this site for further information I would be somewhat concerned. With that statement said, I will hasten to add that this is an extreme minority of members, I've classified some into the following categories through reading posts in the short time i have been here:

Party planning service. Not sure if its individual mental exhaustion, general apathy to things or as I have seen at least once before (not sure if they were joking or not) that they were too lazy. But some posts I have seen lead me to think fellow members will plan and coordinate the event for them.

Goldilocks Syndrome. Someone starts threads with all the methods outlined in the PPH and other methods and then in the same post talks them out of it. So if you suggest a method and then say why you don't want to or can't do it, what help are you expecting from the forum? The Resources section of the forum is a significant treasure trove of information. I am amazed so many people forget it's there and don't use it.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Great phrase. And we easily frighten on this board. Large number of people can be used as reference for success in a method, yet one comment regarding an alleged symptom that can't be verified trumps all of them.

Also seen a few times people wanting to do two methods at the same time. They may see it as twice the chance of succeeding, I see it as twice the chance of failing. Stick to one method and do it properly.

Have as much confidence in your method as you can by researching yourself and not being fed information regardless of whether it sounds positive or negative. The PPH isn't a theory book, its a guide to a practical method. Do variations from that and you increase your own risk of being hurt and failing in the process.