Venting Out of Options

[Mayfly]

Stuck in my room without any feasible ways to end my life. I was stupid enough to try to end my life by slitting my wrists in the past (almost exactly a year ago, 2024-08-01) and, of course, it didn't go to plan. I don't know if I'm foolish—or perhaps courageous—enough to attempt that again, but I do keep a razor blade in my phone case. I have a jump rope, too, but I'm not sure I'd be able to execute that correctly either… just not clever enough or dexterous enough.
I've been thinking about maybe running away from home and keeping a toy gun (realistic enough) with a painted tip on me and pointing it at a police officer lol. I'm such a pussy and can't even end my life by myself, so I think it'd be a lot more Idk guaranteed? No survival instinct getting in the way, at least. Does anyone have any input about the method? Advice? Maybe suggest a completely different one? I don't know much, but I want an escape. :-b Recent high school graduate (late teens) if that's important info. Have about five thousand dollars saved, but I owe my boyfriend seven hundred of that. Thanks!

 

[Themogger]

Stuck in my room without any feasible ways to end my life. I was stupid enough to try to end my life by slitting my wrists in the past (almost exactly a year ago, 2024-08-01) and, of course, it didn't go to plan. I don't know if I'm foolish—or perhaps courageous—enough to attempt that again, but I do keep a razor blade in my phone case. I have a jump rope, too, but I'm not sure I'd be able to execute that correctly either… just not clever enough or dexterous enough.
I've been thinking about maybe running away from home and keeping a toy gun (realistic enough) with a painted tip on me and pointing it at a police officer lol. I'm such a pussy and can't even end my life by myself, so I think it'd be a lot more Idk guaranteed? No survival instinct getting in the way, at least. Does anyone have any input about the method? Advice? Maybe suggest a completely different one? I don't know much, but I want an escape. :-b Recent high school graduate (late teens) if that's important info. Have about five thousand dollars saved, but I owe my boyfriend seven hundred of that. Thanks!

Have you found anything yet?

 

[dolemitedrums]

You just graduated high school. Are you really sure that your future is unsalvageable?

 

[Mayfly]

Have you found anything yet?

No, but I'm more desperate than ever for a way out… The options I have don't guarantee anything, but maybe it's better to try than do nothing at all

You just graduated high school. Are you really sure that your future is unsalvageable?

I get how that could sound silly… But yeah, I can say with earnest conviction that nothing gets better—at least for me it won't