Other people are a burden

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

What puzzles me most is the thought of wanting to live for the sake of not hurting others. Forgive me for being narrow minded.

My family when they discovered I had wanted to ctb spoke along the lines of:
"Oh no, keep living, you've got to keep living for me" "what am I to do if you weren't here? Do you know how I would feel?"

I disliked their words. It was frustrating to hear, and it felt as if they were trying to crawl onto me in spirit, sit on my back and have me carry the weight of their negativity.

"why didn't you tell me? I thought we were close" is another phrase, hearing of it my blood boils automatically. I haven't any logical reason as to why. It's instinctually irritating.

How could someone feel bad for possibly hurting the feelings of others?

 

[Kibby]

Lol so they guilt tripped you over trying to ctb + their first reaction is being hurt over the fact you didnt tell them rather than being concerned for you. Kinda crazy tbh.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I understand. In my case, I do feel sad for my brother since he's only a minor and has no other siblings aside from me but, in the end, logic still prevails and I can't be too forgiving or too attached to stay alive for others as I just don't have it in me to do that anymore. It's so fucked when your family says "oh no, you can't die. You instead have to watch me die". It makes me have so much anger towards my parents as the only reason why I even have to die in the first place is because they gave birth to me. If I was never born, I wouldn't have to die.