Discussion Organizing and planning before you ctb

[Daktalsnakal]

I find myself compelled from all the different methods people talk about and the way they ctb. I'm trying to organize the way I do it so it could be efficient quick and certain. Though I also find some people rather not plan or think about it, but to simply find a method and attempt to fall through with it. Which is better?

For those interested and for those willing to give tips, advice, or criticism, this is my plan so far.

Step 1- research method and select method that is affordable, not too time consuming, and most importantly selecting a method with a higher chance of success. I am leaning towards the exit bag, the materials are more or less easy to acquire it shouldn't take to long to put together or take long to get the job done and it seems quite popular I assume because it has a high success rate.

Step 2- Gather supplies and set up to ensure functionality. So in my case I don't have much money nor do I make much so itd take some time to save money and then to order the supplies I can't find nearby, then theres always the risk of getting a wrong part or something along those lines. That's pretty much the only thing stopping me from fully committing to this method other than the fact I feel like I'm such a klutz I'll tear the bag or something.

Step 3- For lack of a better title for this step I'll call it the will and last testament preparation. In this step I will organize a suicide letter and instructions on what to do with my body and instructions on what to do with my things. As for the letter I've been thinking of writing an individual letter for select people I hold dearest instead of one letter to all. As for my things I thought itd be nice to let friends and family come and take something theyd like or to simply give it all away to charity, tho I dont have much mostly small personal effects. As for my body I don't want anything big at all nor am I religious person so definitely no mass, something cheap and easy on my folks, a cremation and I am part Mexican so definitely a party.

Step 4- final preparations, find a location and set a date and time, move needed supplies to location with adequate timing and stealth. I don't want my family to be traumatized by stumbling across my body somewhere in my house I rather be found by some stranger who can call the police on me I'll have the information neccessary to track down my family. I've chosen a very special spot to me it's for the most part secluded and has good memories for me. The time naturally sometime after dark.

Step 5- Do it.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I actually made a similar list last night. A list of ALL supplies, including little small things to make it as comfortable as possible. Then I listed all the things I would do on the day, get fuel, get my last meal, where I will drive to etc.
Today I wrote a will, looked at urns, chose some nice ones that I'd like to have etc. There is a very specific passage I want read at my funeral as well.

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever. And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives. And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly.

Obviously some changes need to be made but I love this.

 

[Daktalsnakal]

I actually made a similar list last night. A list of ALL supplies, including little small things to make it as comfortable as possible. Then I listed all the things I would do on the day, get fuel, get my last meal, where I will drive to etc.
Today I wrote a will, looked at urns, chose some nice ones that I'd like to have etc. There is a very specific passage I want read at my funeral as well.

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever. And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives. And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly.

Obviously some changes need to be made but I love this.

That was beautiful, truly it pulled a heart string or two. If your interested years ago before I found comfort in death I wrote a poem that reminded me alot of your talk of science and how somehow our energy is still here. If your interested I'll PM it to you.

 

[BPD Barbie]

That was beautiful, truly it pulled a heart string or two. If your interested years ago before I found comfort in death I wrote a poem that reminded me alot of your talk of science and how somehow our energy is still here. If your interested I'll PM it to you.

Please do! I'd love to read it!

 

[Enbiecat]

Right now I'm in the research stage. But I know I'm going to need to order supplies. I've written letters, but plan to edit them over time. Right now they're just in my phone's notes. I'll handwrite them though. I'm also gonna redo my advanced directives, as a security measure. And I'm debating what to do in regards to my kids... If it'll be easier on them to have a really fun day with me before, or to not have those positive memories. And debating on if I give my boss advance notice I won't be in the day before. I don't have to worry about the kids' Custody or my things because I'm legally married and have a will.

 

[Daktalsnakal]

Please do! I'd love to read it!

Apparently I cant send it directly to you or at least idk how but I'll just put it here.

Just allow yourself to believe theres no need to grieve, the moment this soul leaves this physical body we truly dis embody nothing is concrete and we are free. Envision a profound meditation a moment of pure liberation, a light, a sense of well being and peace, all you have to do is release. Somehow you know that you are there in complete eternity with all you individuality and you realize that your mentality equals immortality, somehow you have not ceased to exist, because in this universe we all coexist. Time is no longer linear, who you are is your own creation and you smile in admiration. In the end you realize it's only the beginning and everything keeps spinning. Weve only entered a more intense existence there is no such thing as distance. Colors are now more vibrant sounds become more pleasant. There is no better time than the present. All your senses are finally released. To say the least, the heavy cloak of physical body takes off with flight until one day we reunite. I love you Elise forever more than yesterday less than tomorrow.

That poem was to the love of my life I wrote it in the 9th grade.

Right now I'm in the research stage. But I know I'm going to need to order supplies. I've written letters, but plan to edit them over time. Right now they're just in my phone's notes. I'll handwrite them though. I'm also gonna redo my advanced directives, as a security measure. And I'm debating what to do in regards to my kids... If it'll be easier on them to have a really fun day with me before, or to not have those positive memories. And debating on if I give my boss advance notice I won't be in the day before. I don't have to worry about the kids' Custody or my things because I'm legally married and have a will.

If you dont mind me saying so, I think giving your kids a fond memory would be nice, pains gonna be there regardless if you see them before or not, might as well give them one last good time. As for work I thought about the same thing but I don't think I'll give a notice.

 

[seho_j]

I've gotten to step 2, but I have no idea how to get started with step 3. For this step I really I need to think hard about the people I leave behind and I feel like that'll weaken my resolve.

 

[Daktalsnakal]

I've gotten to step 2, but I have no idea how to get started with step 3. For this step I really I need to think hard about the people I leave behind and I feel like that'll weaken my resolve.

I really felt that, especially when thinking about my parents that's probably why I haven't done it yet the pain I'm gonna cause the people who truly care is the only thing I can say is keeping me going. When I think about writing to them I try to stay as positive as possible when giving explanations and what not, I find that helps my resolve if anything. This might sound quite manipulative or just plain dumb but I wanna tell my family to somehow use my death as a way to fix problems and grow and to try to take as much good from it as possible and to realize that its what I want and that somehow I'm happier this way.

 

[Broken Chimera]

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever. And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives. And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly.

I love this. I need to make a LOT of changes to it. But that can work for me.