Method Opinions on my method?

[thouxan]

I am pretty sure that this plan is guaranteed to work but I want to hear opinions anyways, probably because I'm lonely af. This shit is kinda long but I would appreciate it a lot if you read it and left me a comment.

My method is full suspension hanging. I live with parents and at least 1 parent is always home. So I will wait until I have an opportunity where I will be home alone for more than enough time to pull it off and not risk being interrupted.

I will use a pullup bar as an anchor point positioned high up between the wall and the exterior of my closet, because my door is not tall enough. This is a very strong pullup bar, intended for not only doors but hallways as well, I have seen multiple reviews and it is extremely sturdy. I will test it myself too of course just to be sure. I am at a very healthy weight and I will not use the bar close to its limits. I should be able to just order this and get it delivered to my house with no suspicion because my parents know I want to go on a self-improvement journey and start working out.

For the ligature, I will order a custom 10mm thick braided polyester rope from the internet and go pick it up in person from the courier store so I don't raise suspicion, but there's a chance I could just get it delivered too because I am ordering a lot of items online these days and they probably won't notice. I will also get 5 meters of the rope, it is way too long for this specific plan but there's a small chance I will need to hang in another location like a tree or something in case there is any risk of failure here, so I will preemptively get a longer rope as a plan b.

I will get on my chair and install the pullup bar carefully, secure the rope very well with a hitch knot, or maybe multiple knots just to be safer, and throw the long end of the rope on the top of my closet so it doesn't interfere. Then, with the short end of the rope I will make a noose knot and adjust it at the perfect height. I will test my rope and the pullup bar carefully to make sure they can hold my weight, although theoretically it should not be a problem considering the strong materials and mechanisms. I will also consider adding some soft padding like a towel on the front of my neck in case it gives me more comfort, I will test it to see if it actually helps.

I will move all nearby objects out of reach (desk, hanging clothes) to avoid grabbing onto something due to survival instinct, I will close the blinds, doors, curtains and the big glass window outside of my room and I will also lock the door to the house and the balcony door from the inside just to be extra safe. No one should be able to see me and intervene anyway in this spot but I am just being paranoid. In case I regret something and want to stick around, this setup is pretty easy to dismantle and leave no evidence.

Then I will take some time to work up the courage to do it. I will probably put on my favorite music, look at some last pictures or videos and make myself comfortable. I will also try to write a suicide note but idk if my parents will ever understand how hellish my life has been and will continue to be, no matter what I write, so I might not even bother. I think I will also put some effort to look presentable, take a shower, style my hair and smell good. I just feel like I owe it to myself.

Once I feel 100% ready to leave this world, I will get up on the chair again, put the noose around my neck and above my adam's apple, tighten it and kick the chair away. This should statistically be 100% fatal with no chance to save myself. Hopefully I lose consciousness fast due to pressuring the arteries and don't suffer too much from choking and my windpipe being crushed. But even if it happens that way, a few minutes of pain is nothing compared to the pain I feel and have always felt in my life. So I will tolerate it no matter what, it's not like I will have a choice once I am suspended. From the hanging videos I have seen, with this setup, it can't take more than a couple minutes of suffering even if I don't achieve the ideal artery blockage.

Idk when exactly I will do this, my mind is working 24/7 to accept it. We will all die one day anyway and I have never believed in religion so death does not scare me that much. I still need some time to get comfortable with the idea though. Thanks to anyone that read this whole thing. <3

 

[Asprex]

It doesn't seem like you have made your final decision. Despite that your plan seems good enough. Its true that it doesn't matter if you suffer some minutes since you're not gonna remember it. I'd say leave a note to your parents at least or talk with them for a last time. Also if you make up your mind that is also fine since we all go through phases. I wish you the best <3

 

[LT1989]

Your plan seems solid tbh. I've been thinking of doing something similar.

My heart goes out to you, terrible that you feel this way. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[thouxan]

It doesn't seem like you have made your final decision.

I am not content with dying yet. But I know it is inevitable, I am getting closer to accepting it every day. I have been in this condition for too long, my entire life has been hell and it keeps getting harder, I have irreversible conditions and disorders and I have exactly zero hope of living even a remotely normal life or feeling genuine joy. It is sad because I would have loved to live the life of an average person despite all the hardships, everyone has hardships, but no normal person experiences the shit I do. So I do feel a lot of jealousy still of other people and hope I could somehow live like them, I am working on getting over it and accepting reality and what I have to do to end my suffering.

I'd say leave a note to your parents at least or talk with them for a last time.

I probably will, I won't rush anything that's for sure. I just need to decide what to do beforehand, my opinion on things constantly changes.

I wish you the best <3

Thanks so much, it means a lot <3

Your plan seems solid tbh. I've been thinking of doing something similar.

My heart goes out to you, terrible that you feel this way. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Thank you. I have endured a lot before I got to this point. I wish you luck as well. If there is any hope for you, I hope you find all the strength and courage to turn your life around and enjoy it to the fullest while you are still here. But if you are like me and have no choice but to end it early, I hope you find peace and succeed. <3

 

[LT1989]

I appreciate that thank you so much. I cant see a way forward Unfortunately. But I just hope there is peace on the other side for us

 

[Hollowman]

If I was going to try this method I'd test the bar by making a loop a foot or so off the floor. Then stand in the loop for at least 20 minutes. I'd be afraid it'd fail and I'd be even more brain damaged.

 

[thouxan]

I appreciate that thank you so much. I cant see a way forward Unfortunately. But I just hope there is peace on the other side for us

The thing that helps me cope is that everyone will have the same fate. Even the happiest, most attractive, most successful people will die one day, and a lot of them will have a painful death too. Not everyone passes away peacefully in their bed from old age. So we are not at all alone in that regard.

But imagine how insanely sad it would be if you had built an amazing life full of wonderful memories and beautiful relationships with people that love you, and then that was taken away from you.

That is kinda comforting for me. Because I have never been happy, I never experienced all the beautiful memories that make this life worth it. So I don't really have many things to be sad about. The only things on my mind that kinda make my heart ache are my loving family who have supported me no matter what, and the few brief romantic encounters I had. At least I won't die a kissless virgin.

But yeah apart from that, I haven't lived at all. Extreme isolation, no real interests or passions, no real friends, barely any memories, constant mental suffering. Thoughts of my family are not at all enough to make me stick around. It gives me comfort that I can just speed up the process and end this journey, but on my own terms, without the immense sadness that others will feel when their time comes. I kinda wish I could trade my life with someone who really loves their life but will die at a young age from an accident or something.

If I was going to try this method I'd test the bar by making a loop a foot or so off the floor. Then stand in the loop for at least 20 minutes. I'd be afraid it'd fail and I'd be even more brain damaged.

Good idea, I won't rush things or take any risks. I want to succeed on my 1st attempt obviously lol

 

[FuneralCry]

Sounds like you have a well thought out plan, I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[Anna.]

sounds good, i hope you find freedom <3