L
lopsidedcrawdad1
Experienced
- Jun 22, 2023
- 284
This my first post in the recovery forum. Earlier this week I had my SN mixed and was ready to take it but pussied out. I was extremely depressed afterwards. I made a post on reddit yesterday asking about research chemicals and which ones I could take to end it all. One person reccomended that before I do it, I should atleast try getting fucked up on opiates and see if it helps. Sounds like terrible advice but I did it last night. I took 10mg hydrocodone, smoked 2 joints, took 2 shots of whiskey, and 100mg hydroxyzine (opiate potentiator) and got extremely fucked up. That was my first time ever doing opiates. I woke up this morning and things are honestly looking up. My biggest problem right now (not only problem) that was causing me to want to kill myself is rapid hair loss at 19. Ive known about hair systems (pretty much just wigs for men) for a long time but couldnt see myself wearing one and keeping up with all of maintenance involved but today I feel like im going to make the leap soon and try one out. Theyre basically undetectable if put on correctly. Have no idea how hydrocodone shifted my mentality this much when mushrooms, lsd, and ket just made me more depressed but im glad I tried it. I dont recommend anyone try this though because holy shit it feels amazing and I see why people are so addicted to those things. Gonna try to do this and make an attempt at recovery. I still have my SN as a backup which will go bad at some point but I also have a shotgun so if things dont work out, I still have a way out. Anybody have thoughts on any of this? Just really wanted to share and talk about it