Venting Opiate users who use when they're sad..

[fficiallyjawshh]

What do you guys do when your low on supply but are having a REALLY rough time being you ? Do you say fuck it and just take the rest to feel better now or do you suffer and save it for a tougher time ? Going through this rn and it's something I experience daily since getting more pills where I live is kind of hard so I'm always torn to just take the rest out of impulse and regret it later :(

 

[Banquo501]

I'm pretty strict with myself when I'm getting to the end of a prescription, while I do abuse them sometimes by taking enough to get that buzz, I actually need them for when I'm in genuine pain, so I always have to make sure I've got enough to last till my next prescription.

It's tough though. I'm currently trying to get off them, I was doing really well until my life started falling apart a couple of weeks ago, now I'm falling back into old bad habits, and I really don't want to have to try and reduce my usage again now. They are pretty much the only thing helping me sleep right now, and sleep is the only time I don't feel sad.

 

[notjustyetagain]

sorry to hear about your battle, and it's a helluva battle. i was on a similar seesaw for a while, bingeing then going through WDs, but after ~5 years of use i've been having the same amount every day for the last ~10 years. OTOH i don't get high, it's just to get me out of bed. it wasn't a matter of self-discipline -- i don't have self-discipline -- it just kind of evolved to that MO on its own, somehow. is there something you can cycle with to soften the blow of days "off"? benzos, other GABAergics (phenibut, beclofen, etc.) maybe? probably bad advice. sorry.

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

I'm pretty strict with myself when I'm getting to the end of a prescription, while I do abuse them sometimes by taking enough to get that buzz, I actually need them for when I'm in genuine pain, so I always have to make sure I've got enough to last till my next prescription.

It's tough though. I'm currently trying to get off them, I was doing really well until my life started falling apart a couple of weeks ago, now I'm falling back into old bad habits, and I really don't want to have to try and reduce my usage again now. They are pretty much the only thing helping me sleep right now, and sleep is the only time I don't feel sad.

I'm kind of glad I don't have to use them for physical pain and can rely on them purely for when I'm sad as fuck . And I whole heartedly agree w/sleeping more to not feel sad . Why don't you try sleeping aids if it's sleep you wish to have to avoid the sadness ? That way you wouldn't go through all your meds and be stuck when you actually need them . Though it sounds like you have enough willpower to sustain you in your roughest times so hats off to you (:

sorry to hear about your battle, and it's a helluva battle. i was on a similar seesaw for a while, bingeing then going through WDs, but after ~5 years of use i've been having the same amount every day for the last ~10 years. OTOH i don't get high, it's just to get me out of bed. it wasn't a matter of self-discipline -- i don't have self-discipline -- it just kind of evolved to that MO on its own, somehow. is there something you can cycle with to soften the blow of days "off"? benzos, other GABAergics (phenibut, beclofen, etc.) maybe? probably bad advice. sorry.

That's interesting you say you would use them to get you out of bed . If anything they make me wanna stay in bed and make everything feel less shitty haha . Are they prescribed to you (you mentioned taking them everyday for the past 10 years) ? And dude I fucking wishhhh, but just like opiates, benzos aren't super easy to come by . Yes, easier to come by opposed to say oxy but still. And besides, I had an extremely rough experience w/Xanax and as much as I really do love it, I get/got hooked on them and I don't wanna put my family through more of my benzo fueled bullshit .

That was so drawn out and ultimately unsatisfying and pointless, sorry you had to read that, it literally got you nowhere .

 

[Banquo501]

I'm kind of glad I don't have to use them for physical pain and can rely on them purely for when I'm sad as fuck . And I whole heartedly agree w/sleeping more to not feel sad . Why don't you try sleeping aids if it's sleep you wish to have to avoid the sadness ? That way you wouldn't go through all your meds and be stuck when you actually need them . Though it sounds like you have enough willpower to sustain you in your roughest times so hats off to you (:

That's interesting you say you would use them to get you out of bed . If anything they make me wanna stay in bed and make everything feel less shitty haha . Are they prescribed to you (you mentioned taking them everyday for the past 10 years) ? And dude I fucking wishhhh, but just like opiates, benzos aren't super easy to come by . Yes, easier to come by opposed to say oxy but still. And besides, I had an extremely rough experience w/Xanax and as much as I really do love it, I get/got hooked on them and I don't wanna put my family through more of my benzo fueled bullshit .

That was so drawn out and ultimately unsatisfying and pointless, sorry you had to read that, it literally got you nowhere .

My willpower is running on fumes to be honest, it's only the fear of running out that is keeping me from taking bigger doses. I'm supposed to be seeing the doctor next week, so may try and get sleeping tablets. But deep down, I know that sleeping isn't really going to fix things, it's not really living if all I am living for is the times when I am unconscious. The rest of the time I am just feeling heartbroken about things, or I'm in physical pain. Sleep is just a brief escape from all that.

 

[mathieu]

I just say fuck it and take them but my pattern of using is very sporadic. I am clean 99% of time the rest I'm burning through what I got.

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

My willpower is running on fumes to be honest, it's only the fear of running out that is keeping me from taking bigger doses. I'm supposed to be seeing the doctor next week, so may try and get sleeping tablets. But deep down, I know that sleeping isn't really going to fix things, it's not really living if all I am living for is the times when I am unconscious. The rest of the time I am just feeling heartbroken about things, or I'm in physical pain. Sleep is just a brief escape from all that.

I felt that . I'm sorry for whatever is causing you such heartbreak . It's not my place to apologize but I do hope life gives u a break love <3

 

[seafarer]

As I just posted in another thread I turned to heroin in order to deal with mental pain like stress and anxiety. I never made me feel euphoria or anything. But without it I could hardly leave my house due to mental illness. After being raided by police I'm now in methadone treatment and other meds but may be facing prison to do with the heroin. Court case is in about 7 weeks which isn't helping my mental health and also why I have heathered everything ready for SN time if it all get too.much or if I find for certain I'm going to prison. I wouldn't cope as I have severe social phobia among other things so. That's why I used opiates. Nobody ever knew I was on heroin until the police came knocking. Fun times. That was 9 months ago and only now am I going to find out if I going prison after doing all the right rehadlb things.

It just makes me feel everything I have done to get life on track is for nothing if I'm going to be tlsent to prison anyway. So what's the point....

Sorry for rant on your post wasn't planned to go into so much depth on it.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

As I just posted in another thread I turned to heroin in order to deal with mental pain like stress and anxiety. I never made me feel euphoria or anything. But without it I could hardly leave my house due to mental illness. After being raided by police I'm now in methadone treatment and other meds but may be facing prison to do with the heroin. Court case is in about 7 weeks which isn't helping my mental health and also why I have heathered everything ready for SN time if it all get too.much or if I find for certain I'm going to prison. I wouldn't cope as I have severe social phobia among other things so. That's why I used opiates. Nobody ever knew I was on heroin until the police came knocking. Fun times. That was 9 months ago and only now am I going to find out if I going prison after doing all the right rehadlb things.

It just makes me feel everything I have done to get life on track is for nothing if I'm going to be tlsent to prison anyway. So what's the point....

Sorry for rant on your post wasn't planned to go into so much depth on it.

It makes me so angry when I hear about people going to jail for victimless crimes like drugs, drugs have been used throughout all of human history but in the last 100 years they have been made "illegal" by a tyrannical government people think they are free yet they get arrested/kidnapped and put in jail for using a drug.

 

[Banquo501]

I felt that . I'm sorry for whatever is causing you such heartbreak . It's not my place to apologize but I do hope life gives u a break love <3

Thanks x

 

[Chronicillness]

I hated going through that dilemma, so instead of never havin g enough I just quit. Heroin isn't even heroin these days. Nothing will replace authentic heroin.

 

[Ange_Fatigue]

I have to stop my baclofen when I want to do some morphine. If taken simultaneously baclofen seems to cut off the pleasurable effect of morphine.
When I run out of stock I inject it, but not that often because it rapidly ruins veins if done everyday. Then I restart baclofen, and don t experiment withdrawal, or very little one. Basically it s 10 days on / 20 days off. Next appointement need to level prescription dosage, which is quite low (30 mg/ day).

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

As I just posted in another thread I turned to heroin in order to deal with mental pain like stress and anxiety. I never made me feel euphoria or anything. But without it I could hardly leave my house due to mental illness. After being raided by police I'm now in methadone treatment and other meds but may be facing prison to do with the heroin. Court case is in about 7 weeks which isn't helping my mental health and also why I have heathered everything ready for SN time if it all get too.much or if I find for certain I'm going to prison. I wouldn't cope as I have severe social phobia among other things so. That's why I used opiates. Nobody ever knew I was on heroin until the police came knocking. Fun times. That was 9 months ago and only now am I going to find out if I going prison after doing all the right rehadlb things.

It just makes me feel everything I have done to get life on track is for nothing if I'm going to be tlsent to prison anyway. So what's the point....

Sorry for rant on your post wasn't planned to go into so much depth on it.

I know this is incredibly late (I apologize) but any updates on things happening in your life ? I'm always hear if you ever wanna vent your ass off.

 

[Cave Johnson]

I had been prescribed narcotics for about 6 years(stopped about a year ago and not by choice) and my method was strictly limiting myself to the bare minimum I needed to get through any pain I had, compulsively pill count and lie to the doctor so that they'd think I was actually using it as prescribed. In reality when my Rx was terminated I had over 150 pills stockpiled. I very rarely used them to get high though, I actually had to use them for pain. If I needed to feel good I'd smoke a sativa.

 

[seafarer]

I know this is incredibly late (I apologize) but any updates on things happening in your life ? I'm always hear if you ever wanna vent your ass off.

Not too much,haven't heard a thing from the lawyers even tho I called them weeks ago, still on methadone ,20mg diazepam a day,zopiclone and a few others and still stress levels are virtually untouched and cant sleep or concentrate on anything. Keeping in mind the original arrest was 10 months ago and I have been in treatment and 100% clean and straight since that day I feel like everything I have done since is gonna have been for nothing and I'll get sent away.

My drug counselor says he will go hard to bat for me Nd that sending me to prison serves no purpose for rehabilitation or benefit to anyone. Everything I did was just to keep the heroin side effects away and that's basically my defence. I got in bad situation with history of mental illness that far predates this current situation.so just waiting to see and if it looks like prison I'm gonna end it plain and simple,but if I get a second chance I'm still going to be fucked up mentally but I will keep on grinding as I have been these last 10 months.

Thanks for asking,I needed a little rant to feet some pressure out my system.

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

Not too much,haven't heard a thing from the lawyers even tho I called them weeks ago, still on methadone ,20mg diazepam a day,zopiclone and a few others and still stress levels are virtually untouched and cant sleep or concentrate on anything. Keeping in mind the original arrest was 10 months ago and I have been in treatment and 100% clean and straight since that day I feel like everything I have done since is gonna have been for nothing and I'll get sent away.

My drug counselor says he will go hard to bat for me Nd that sending me to prison serves no purpose for rehabilitation or benefit to anyone. Everything I did was just to keep the heroin side effects away and that's basically my defence. I got in bad situation with history of mental illness that far predates this current situation.so just waiting to see and if it looks like prison I'm gonna end it plain and simple,but if I get a second chance I'm still going to be fucked up mentally but I will keep on grinding as I have been these last 10 months.

Thanks for asking,I needed a little rant to feet some pressure out my system.

Aw dude (or girl) so just wondering if you still plan on ending it eventually even if you don't have to go to prison ? Which I'm gonna speak it into the air that you're not . I'm sorry life is being so harsh right now :( it's not my spot to apologize but your situation makes me sad .

I had been prescribed narcotics for about 6 years(stopped about a year ago and not by choice) and my method was strictly limiting myself to the bare minimum I needed to get through any pain I had, compulsively pill count and lie to the doctor so that they'd think I was actually using it as prescribed. In reality when my Rx was terminated I had over 150 pills stockpiled. I very rarely used them to get high though, I actually had to use them for pain. If I needed to feel good I'd smoke a sativa.

Wow 150 pills sheeesh . Weed, regardless of the strain, makes me terribly uncomfortable so that's why I can't use it as a feel good drug . Or else coping would be so much easier . Kudos to you for self control though .