Archness
Defective Personel
- Jan 20, 2023
- 472
Another moment of mother going mask off and spouting hate at me. Maybe now, or soon, is the moment I've been waiting for; when my real life begins and I'm in the dumpster, like trash, and finally have a good reason to ctb. At this point I can't really care that much how it'll end now, I'm loosing control.
Many thoughts are going through my head. She gets to get as mad and angry as she wants, speaking however she wishes but the smallest infraction or wish for her to calm down and be atleast a little less annoying and fussy summons scolding.
Oh yeah, all this yelling and scolding is because she loves me. Saying how my life is gonna be absolutely terrible or how absolutely useless I am, all an act of love. Or better yet, I should just forgive her because she was, "Just so stressed and angry".
I've already said this shit before... this is just my life. It's just this horribleness covered up with facades and politeness. The only thing I can do, the most powerful thing I can do, is just walk away and shut everything out.
While I usually think about ctb passively, times like these remind me why I consider suicide these days, makes me imagine ending it here and now.
Send me far, far away, where this unworthy life is worth a dollar.
Many thoughts are going through my head. She gets to get as mad and angry as she wants, speaking however she wishes but the smallest infraction or wish for her to calm down and be atleast a little less annoying and fussy summons scolding.
Oh yeah, all this yelling and scolding is because she loves me. Saying how my life is gonna be absolutely terrible or how absolutely useless I am, all an act of love. Or better yet, I should just forgive her because she was, "Just so stressed and angry".
I've already said this shit before... this is just my life. It's just this horribleness covered up with facades and politeness. The only thing I can do, the most powerful thing I can do, is just walk away and shut everything out.
While I usually think about ctb passively, times like these remind me why I consider suicide these days, makes me imagine ending it here and now.
Send me far, far away, where this unworthy life is worth a dollar.
