Only moments I am calm

[Fadeawaaaay]

Is waking up at 2AM and knowing it's dark for another few hours and I can hide

 

[tchaik18401893]

i love that feeling. the feeling of being able to stay in bed under the covers where no one can see your face. no one can hear your voice. No social interactions, just peace. Quiet. Silence.

 

[Sapphire]

I know what you mean. The only time I'm happy is when I am asleep.

 

[Obliviate]

Same, I always wondered why I'm a night person and then it dawned on me that it's because the rest of the world is sleeping and you have some hours to yourself before the chaos starts

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a relief to be able to experience some kind of calmness, in my case nothing could ever make me feel in such a way, unless I had a suicide method as peaceful as N. Every single moment that I'm awake and aware of the fact that I exist, is such a horrible feeling and as long as the chance of waking is always there temporary sleep could never offer any kind of relief for me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly, it's weird- the initial moment I wake up, I do feel a sense of calmness- I suppose I'm just about awake but my consciousness hasn't kicked in. Ironically though- after the seconds it takes to 'switch on'- that's actually the worst I will likely feel the entire day!

I just get this utter dread and all the things I'm worrying about come flooding in and I have this horror that I'm still alive. That I'm going to need to do something about that but that I feel like I can't while my Dad is still alive. Urghhh- life.