it's_all_a_game
I remember...death in the afternoon...
- Nov 7, 2020
- 356
It's my one year anniversary of being on this site. I discovered this place after my second laptop broke last year in October. Beforehand, I was so desperate to die I went to a train station and tried my hardest to jump in front of it. I was so close, but I was too terrified of the pain. As I caught the bus back hone, I grumbled under my breath at our society's lack of respect towards those in immense suffering...
I used a crappy tablet with DDG browser to find this site. I searched for suicide methods, finding the Suicide Wiki in the process, from there, I read about SN and immediately bought some. From that point onward, I was able to get though life's hardships knowing I can opt out without excruciating pain. People might say, "Without this site you'd still be alive!" - no, I wouldn't. I would just have died in a more painful fashion. And talking on this site about my woes - woes I can express nowhere else, as I have no friends and my mom doesn't care - has been therapeutic to me. I no longer wander the streets at night alone. I no longer fight to hold back tears, due to many bullies mocking me for crying. I can be open here.
Ironically, I'm writing this on a tablet yet again as my laptop turned off and won't turn back on for whatever reason. I'll try to get it fixed soon, but I've gone though three laptops and I'm very frustrated. How come they don't make these things to last? I feel the urge to ctb again...
I used a crappy tablet with DDG browser to find this site. I searched for suicide methods, finding the Suicide Wiki in the process, from there, I read about SN and immediately bought some. From that point onward, I was able to get though life's hardships knowing I can opt out without excruciating pain. People might say, "Without this site you'd still be alive!" - no, I wouldn't. I would just have died in a more painful fashion. And talking on this site about my woes - woes I can express nowhere else, as I have no friends and my mom doesn't care - has been therapeutic to me. I no longer wander the streets at night alone. I no longer fight to hold back tears, due to many bullies mocking me for crying. I can be open here.
Ironically, I'm writing this on a tablet yet again as my laptop turned off and won't turn back on for whatever reason. I'll try to get it fixed soon, but I've gone though three laptops and I'm very frustrated. How come they don't make these things to last? I feel the urge to ctb again...
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