Venting One last thing to do before starting the road to CTB

[Cryptonite]

On Monday I'm paying an unplanned visit to the doctor who misdiagnosed my severe spinal disease which ruined my entire life. It could have been completely cured had he made a correct diagnosis.

It may or may not include unsolicited violence. I don't care anymore. He didn't care either. I just know he will never forget that day until the end of his days. It will be the worst thing that happened to him in his career.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Unfortunately, if you commit violence, you will likely be arrested and likely won't be able to CTB.

I would just chew him/her out, if anything.

 

[Cryptonite]

Unfortunately, if you commit violence, you will likely be arrested and likely won't be able to CTB.

I would just chew him/her out, if anything.

Good point. Just, the anger is immense...

 

[Conker]

May as well freshen up the air a bit before you go. Hell, send me his details lol.

 

[Ta555]

Yeah, don't get violent that will end badly for you. But do use your very well thought out angry words. Probably best to write down what you want to say first. Also don't say anything about CTB for the love of non-existent God.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Are you able to report him to some higher authority? Was it a case of negligence?

I can completely understand and sympathise with your anger but yeah, like others have said- it will most likely only make it much worse for you if you take the violent route.

A doctor misdiagnosed a melanoma as an aggravated mole on my Mum, it developed and she died as a result.

What really gets to me is- when he came to sign the death certificate, he asked my Dad if he believed in an afterlife. He tried to assure my Dad that he was sure that there was but you have to wonder whether he was just trying to reassure himself.

I know doctors are only human. We all make mistakes and I fully suspect that they have budgets to work to like everyone else- so I guess they pick and choose who to refer on to specialists. Still, I don't think I could do a job where my mistakes lead to someone's death or lifelong suffering.

I really hope you can find the closure you need on this and wish you all the best.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

This is awesome. I love people who take accountability into their own hands . We need more people like this in the world

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is awesome. I love people who take accountability into their own hands . We need more people like this in the world

Agree we do need people who take action but not sure violence is the best route.

I guess it will kick up a fuss in the media, get the story out there- but who knows how they'll twist the story?- They may not even represent your side of it.

Maybe the doctor will feel fear but ultimately, any act of violence is likely to be condemned and the real victim in all this will end up with a criminal record/fine/jail time.

Just wonder if there's a way to sue the doctor if there is negligence involved? Don't some medical prosecuters offer a 'no win, no fee' type deal? Sure I've heard that. Still, I appreciate this route could be a long, drawn out fight that just seems too much.

There must be a complaints procedure for when they screw up though... that's surely to damage the doctors reputation without any repercussions on you? Or is that a load of crap too? I guess they protect their own.

 

[WhatAMess]

It would be an issue if you got in legal troubles but if that doctor never took any kind of responsibility for his mistakes and just dismissed you leading you to your current state, then he 100% deserves a beatdown in my opinion. No matter how good of a person he is or how much of a loving parent he may be, ruining someone else's life and continuing with your own like nothing happened should be punishable.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so awful and horrific what happened to you. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. This life is just so unfair. I hope that you find peace and relief from pain in whatever happens.

 

[Maaizr]

This is awesome. I love people who take accountability into their own hands . We need more people like this in the world

this is my plan

 

[Cryptonite]

Yeah, don't get violent that will end badly for you. But do use your very well thought out angry words. Probably best to write down what you want to say first. Also don't say anything about CTB for the love of non-existent God.

Both pieces of advice are very helpful, thank you

Are you able to report him to some higher authority? Was it a case of negligence?

I can completely understand and sympathise with your anger but yeah, like others have said- it will most likely only make it much worse for you if you take the violent route.

A doctor misdiagnosed a melanoma as an aggravated mole on my Mum, it developed and she died as a result.

What really gets to me is- when he came to sign the death certificate, he asked my Dad if he believed in an afterlife. He tried to assure my Dad that he was sure that there was but you have to wonder whether he was just trying to reassure himself.

I know doctors are only human. We all make mistakes and I fully suspect that they have budgets to work to like everyone else- so I guess they pick and choose who to refer on to specialists. Still, I don't think I could do a job where my mistakes lead to someone's death or lifelong suffering.

I really hope you can find the closure you need on this and wish you all the best.

Stuff like this makes me deeply hate doctors for their unjustified confidence in what they're doing

That person was actually a specialist, in my case... and the second one, the first one also misdiagnosed me two years earlier

The first person cannot be sued for certain reasons...the one I'm visiting tomorrow can be... but it will never make things right, the damage has been done... I'm just wondering how are they going to react

Agree we do need people who take action but not sure violence is the best route.

I guess it will kick up a fuss in the media, get the story out there- but who knows how they'll twist the story?- They may not even represent your side of it.

Maybe the doctor will feel fear but ultimately, any act of violence is likely to be condemned and the real victim in all this will end up with a criminal record/fine/jail time.

Just wonder if there's a way to sue the doctor if there is negligence involved? Don't some medical prosecuters offer a 'no win, no fee' type deal? Sure I've heard that. Still, I appreciate this route could be a long, drawn out fight that just seems too much.

There must be a complaints procedure for when they screw up though... that's surely to damage the doctors reputation without any repercussions on you? Or is that a load of crap too? I guess they protect their own.

All of what you said is possible to do... suing on the "no win, no fee" basis, complaints, ruining reputation...

but it will never make things right...

I will just probably try to hold my anger and instead inquire why did the doctor do that... how could they make such a mistake... and I will probably also break down and start crying, because it will be too much to handle

That sounds so awful and horrific what happened to you. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. This life is just so unfair. I hope that you find peace and relief from pain in whatever happens.

I also hope you do too. I've been reading your posts for a while. We really need to be strong in overcoming SI, we need to be courageous, we cannot just let ourselves suffer indefinitely... we need to "man up" and be strong

It would be an issue if you got in legal troubles but if that doctor never took any kind of responsibility for his mistakes and just dismissed you leading you to your current state, then he 100% deserves a beatdown in my opinion. No matter how good of a person he is or how much of a loving parent he may be, ruining someone else's life and continuing with your own like nothing happened should be punishable.

I'm curious about the doctor's reaction... they still don't know what happened, I don't even know if the person was a male or a female
Maybe I should try to hold my anger back and instead give that person a benefit of doubt... to hear their side of the story

Not for the sake of that person, but in order to have some better closure

 

[Cryptonite]

Quick update: found out who the doctor was (the head of the department), tried to meet her, call her around 30 times, sent e-mails... no reply, total avoidance of responsibility. Wrote an official request for investigation that she is obliged to reply to. Lawyers told me I have a small chance of winning a case against her.

Makes me wanna take justice into my own hands and just beat her up.

Or maybe I'll fake her bosses caller ID, that way she will definitely pick it up

 

[Cryptonite]

Quick update n. 2: there is a huge ongoing investigation in the hospital. The doctor has been interrogated several times. It appeared that another department made a fatal mistake in my case too. I will also have a right to meet all of the people involved.

I've also decided to try to let go of anger and instead, do my best to forgive them. I will not sue anybody. I've made a mistake by being too angry & insulting with people from another hospital who misdiagnosed me previously, and, as a result, they did everything they could to avoid me. On the other hand, from what I've gathered, the currently investigated doctor may have realized her mistake and feel genuinely apologetic.

I will listen to her side of the story. I believe that ultimately, only forgiveness can help me to move forward towards CTB. Only forgiveness can help me to let go of the life I wanted but will never get.

 

[outrider567]

Quick update n. 2: there is a huge ongoing investigation in the hospital. The doctor has been interrogated several times. It appeared that another department made a fatal mistake in my case too. I will also have a right to meet all of the people involved.

I've also decided to try to let go of anger and instead, do my best to forgive them. I will not sue anybody. I've made a mistake by being too angry & insulting with people from another hospital who misdiagnosed me previously, and, as a result, they did everything they could to avoid me. On the other hand, from what I've gathered, the currently investigated doctor may have realized her mistake and feel genuinely apologetic.

I will listen to her side of the story. I believe that ultimately, only forgiveness can help me to move forward towards CTB. Only forgiveness can help me to let go of the life I wanted but will never get.

Well, you are to be commended indeed, thank for this update--I also am tying up loose ends, my brother's lung cancer diagnosis has spurred me on to send him $2500 a month so he can close down his business and retire and instead focus on battling his stage 4 cancer, and enjoying his three kids and three grandkids, since our rich stepmother is not helping him out

 

[Cryptonite]

Well, you are to be commended indeed, thank for this update--I also am tying up loose ends, my brother's lung cancer diagnosis has spurred me on to send him $2500 a month so he can close down his business and retire and instead focus on battling his stage 4 cancer, and enjoying his three kids and three grandkids, since our rich stepmother is not helping him out

Thank you, you are doing a great thing for him, you are a great man

 

[milkginger]

Well, you are to be commended indeed, thank for this update--I also am tying up loose ends, my brother's lung cancer diagnosis has spurred me on to send him $2500 a month so he can close down his business and retire and instead focus on battling his stage 4 cancer, and enjoying his three kids and three grandkids, since our rich stepmother is not helping him out

You're doing a big thing! For some people, life is preciosa, and you're help him to have some dignity in his final. It's a nice gesture! Hope you're be ok and have all the peace and love that u deserve

Quick update n. 2: there is a huge ongoing investigation in the hospital. The doctor has been interrogated several times. It appeared that another department made a fatal mistake in my case too. I will also have a right to meet all of the people involved.

I've also decided to try to let go of anger and instead, do my best to forgive them. I will not sue anybody. I've made a mistake by being too angry & insulting with people from another hospital who misdiagnosed me previously, and, as a result, they did everything they could to avoid me. On the other hand, from what I've gathered, the currently investigated doctor may have realized her mistake and feel genuinely apologetic.

I will listen to her side of the story. I believe that ultimately, only forgiveness can help me to move forward towards CTB. Only forgiveness can help me to let go of the life I wanted but will never get.

I'm really glad that u considerate your actions with your racional side! It Will ne the best for you, for all!
Im Sorry for you pain! How are you felling now? Ir you need some conversation, please, contact me! Im here for u!

 

[Cryptonite]

The hospital has rejected all my complaints, that was expected... but I will have a chance to meet the doctors involved and I decided it would be the best to tell them my life story, so that they can see the person with face and name, whose life they destroyed