RedDEE
Life sucks and then you die.
- May 10, 2019
- 356
I own a 12 gauge shotgun, but I only have one bullet.. and it's a weak 'target' load. It's meant for "skeet shooting". Anyways, long story short, the ammunition is weak.
In my situation, it is impossible for me to acquire the correct ammunition - no transportation/money.
I'm scared that the bullet I have won't kill me. It's very frustrating - I have access to a shotgun for the first time in years, but not the correct ammunition and no way to get any!
I've found somebody that says they'll be my partner to CTB soon. It makes me feel relief, but at the same time, I'm so ready to die like right now. At the house I'm staying at, I have searched through the basement, garage, shed, all the rooms and every closet - not a single bullet.
I talked to a gun expert here on the forum, and he told me that it might kill me, but it has a small chance it will only lobotomize me. I'm so afraid the bullet won't immediately kill me - I'm afraid I might end up a vegetable, or die a slowly agonizing death bleeding out. Tonight I feel so bad it makes me consider taking a chance, and hoping it hits the correct area of my brain. But I know I won't, I'm just too scared. If I had the correct ammunition, I swear to god I'd blow my head off right the fuck now. But it's IMPOSSIBLE. And I'm so fucking frustrated. I have a god damn 12 gauge shotgun, and not the right ammo! I'm so close, and so far!
Sorry, just needed to vent.
In my situation, it is impossible for me to acquire the correct ammunition - no transportation/money.
I'm scared that the bullet I have won't kill me. It's very frustrating - I have access to a shotgun for the first time in years, but not the correct ammunition and no way to get any!
I've found somebody that says they'll be my partner to CTB soon. It makes me feel relief, but at the same time, I'm so ready to die like right now. At the house I'm staying at, I have searched through the basement, garage, shed, all the rooms and every closet - not a single bullet.
I talked to a gun expert here on the forum, and he told me that it might kill me, but it has a small chance it will only lobotomize me. I'm so afraid the bullet won't immediately kill me - I'm afraid I might end up a vegetable, or die a slowly agonizing death bleeding out. Tonight I feel so bad it makes me consider taking a chance, and hoping it hits the correct area of my brain. But I know I won't, I'm just too scared. If I had the correct ammunition, I swear to god I'd blow my head off right the fuck now. But it's IMPOSSIBLE. And I'm so fucking frustrated. I have a god damn 12 gauge shotgun, and not the right ammo! I'm so close, and so far!
Sorry, just needed to vent.