On the topic of writing suicide notes

[lonelee]

Hi everyone! This is my first post here so please bear with me. I'm a total stalker and I've found so many of these posts helpful and beyond relatable so thank you. So on the topic of goodbye notes, what essential things have you put in a letter you think are important? For example I've been reading a lot of suicide notes and see many people apologizing for very specific things I can only assume have weighed heavily on their mind or they felt regret towards. I also see a lot of people write poetry. (maybe "a lot" is a stretch but more than one which I found surprising) Also things like settling funds/debts and such. What do you all feel would be important to include in your final letter? (Also I'm marking this as a discussion I hope that's okay)

 

[UKscotty]

I think making it clear that no one could have done anything is the only and main point for me.

Apologies and financial stuff are meaningless. People will think they should have done something to save us but for me, they really cant.
I have tried professional help and all sorts. My friends, colleagues and family could have done nothing more so trying to limit their guilt is all my note is for.

 

[FuneralCry]

I want my note to act as some form of closure. I plan to only send one to close family members I want it to say things like 'there is nothing you could have done', and 'now I am at peace' and maybe explain the reasons for why I am doing this. It will just say what is on my mind. I hope it can reassure them although I doubt it will make them feel much better.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Hi everyone! This is my first post here so please bear with me. I'm a total stalker and I've found so many of these posts helpful and beyond relatable so thank you. So on the topic of goodbye notes, what essential things have you put in a letter you think are important? For example I've been reading a lot of suicide notes and see many people apologizing for very specific things I can only assume have weighed heavily on their mind or they felt regret towards. I also see a lot of people write poetry. (maybe "a lot" is a stretch but more than one which I found surprising) Also things like settling funds/debts and such. What do you all feel would be important to include in your final letter? (Also I'm marking this as a discussion I hope that's okay)

The only person I had a real connection with, a parent, is dead. The silver lining to having no one in your life, I guess, is not having to ruminate over notes or guilt... What little I own, I found an attorney who, for a flat fee when I had cash, has agreed to disburse to two beneficiaries, both organizations. That's it for me. Even if I couldn't live up to fantasy of minimalism in life, maybe I can in dying.

 

[whywere]

WOW! Great question, you really are smart and perceptive. Now with that said, YOU are a person who, I am 65, AND 2 attempts, ONLY mention the age aspect because I truly have been around the block ALOT.

A final goodbye is the most difficult, heart wretching things anyone could ever try and produce. It takes a lot of inter soul and through the looking glass mind time to even try and first go at it. It takes a lot of time and thought and many tries to get something that can convey ones most inner thoughts and what is/was good/bad with one's life. Now on to the aspect of the letter towards one's love ones. Oh, tough one. I do not think anyone could ever give one direction on this aspect as it is the ultimate inner thoughts and feelings of said person.

Now onto one final thought, I never wrote any thing on my 2 tries, have no family or friends, EXCEPT EVERYONE ON HERE!!!!, and after one would write something, does it bring one full circle from when one remembers ones 1st steps till writing the letter and envision what is truly right/wrong, good/bad in one's life? I am NOT prolife OR pro ctb, somewhere in between, but ctb is one and done and please make sure to take those multiple steps backwards in one's mind and soul and think. I never had a family or friends ever, a ex wife, who screwed me out of a hell of a lot of money, BUT if one is lucky enough to have loving family or friends, I feel that aspect is truly right up there in considering anything remotely like ctb.

Just my cheesy thoughts!!

Walter

 

[316]

That your loved ones shouldn't feel guilt or blame themselves in any way, similar to how others have said that they couldn't have done anything. To be honest I think a lot of peoples loved ones will still blame themselves anyway but if it can help just 1 person then it's worth putting in there.

i actually named the person who should feel guilty in my case. It feels sort of a dick move but they really have screwed me over and pushed me over the line

 

[Ambaricity]

Emphasising that it was something that nobody could help, and giving reasons why.

I just don't want to leave any loose ends, like my best friend did. She took her life a few months ago, and part of her note was a letter emphasising that what happened was inevitable, in vague terms. She reached out during the night when she did it, and I saw her message but was too weak to pick up my phone and respond, due to a health condition that had been getting particularly severe in the leadup to her passing. She deleted the message and left a different one in its place a few hours later- I woke up to that. If someone's to be told that there's nothing that they could have done, and that's a priority for their sake, it really needs to be communicated in a clear way that doesn't leave room for ambiguity or reinterpretation - the alternative's that your loved ones might blame themselves on the basis that they're aware of instances where they very clearly could have intervened, and carry them after you're gone, whether you intended for that to be the case or otherwise.

It's just important to be kind to the people left behind- the note's for them, not for you. Best not to leave them caught up on more what-ifs than they have to be. I just don't want to hurt people I leave behind like that when my health declines enough that I need to go.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Write what you feel is most important to you. I've written several letters. One for a high school teacher that will be mailed on the day of my death. In it, I've detailed my experiences in high school that ultimately led to this. In another letter for my mom / police, I've summarised the main points again and that this is the only way it could have ended. I'll also be leaving a seperate note which clearly states what is to be done with my remaining possessions, who should be contacted and their numbers, and that I've taken care of all my accounts, money, etc.

 

[Jumping_realms]

That this is nobody's fault and it couldn't have been stopped. It's what I wanted.

 

[Rhaiyne]

My brother wrote a note saying that no one could have stopped him, it was something he had to do, that he was sorry for the hurt he has caused. He mentioned how much he loved us. He then wrote a poem for his funeral which addressed people who would be present pretty much telling his friends and family to all take care of each other... no blaming or anything of the sort as no one is to blame... he is the one who made the decision. It does become a comfort later on.

 

[draw a circle]

I want to put apologies and reassure people that it's not anyone's fault, a pretty basic one. Maybe telling people what to do with my things and giving my social media passwords to a trusted friend. But in the peak of my depression which caused by a heartbreak (I've been feeling suicidal for years and for a different reason, but this happened recently and hit the hardest), i wrote one basically blaming my friend and just being angry at them for leaving me. Eventually i scrapped that one, so I'll just go with something short and sweet. Though idk if I'm even going to write/print one