Venting On exhaustion and burnout.

[birdofafeather]

It's a weird feeling when you're so tired, you can't even CTB.
My days consist of staying in bed while a sea of filth continues to grow around me. I don't go outside. I don't talk to people. I don't eat. I don't sleep. I don't drink. I don't clean myself. I may as well be a vegetable. And it's funny, because there is no one to really check in on me.
I used to be a perfect student. Now I'm... nothing. And I can't even feel disappointment over that. I just... exist.
It's funny how much my condition has deteriorated yet people expect me to just function like a normal human being. For the few appearances I have to make, I require about a week of recovery.
There's a noose hanging from my door. I can see it constantly in my peripheral vision. A reminder of my failure. A reminder of when I had the power to actually stop the void from taking over everything.
I just am waiting for it to be over. For me to either starve or thirst to death, to lose myself to muscle atrophy, to just waste away. Nothing matters anyway.
And it's funny. Nothing really triggered this. It's just my body and mind finally succumbing to the constant pressure of existing.
I wish I could have spent my last days in a dignified manner. Seems like that won't happen.
I want to write something profound. Something that people would think back to. Some magic quote which sums up this deep void of exhaustion in a neatly packaged sentence.
It doesn't exist.

 

[AllMyDreams]

I'm sorry about your situation... I can relate somewhat, I used to be a perfect student too and have a good job. Now I never leave the house (except to go to the store) and spend all my time on the computer. Am trying to find ways to get out of this situation now.

When did the depression start for you? Is there anything in life that used to make you happy? If so, why do you think it did?

 

[FuneralCry]

I do believe that many people don't live, instead they just exist. I see it as being very unfortunate and unfair how we cannot just choose to pass away, I hate how difficult suicide has to be.

 

[HadItAll]

I've burned out at my job but I have no choice but to keep going or I'm homeless.

 

[SilentSadness]

The pressure of existing certainly cannot be overstated, it really is such a burden just to be here in this world. I too am often too tired to even think of ctb and it's such an aching pain. Sadly we are forced to endure it but I wish that you find some peace in this wretched world.

 

[Kattt]

It's a weird feeling when you're so tired, you can't even CTB.
My days consist of staying in bed while a sea of filth continues to grow around me. I don't go outside. I don't talk to people. I don't eat. I don't sleep. I don't drink. I don't clean myself. I may as well be a vegetable. And it's funny, because there is no one to really check in on me.
I used to be a perfect student. Now I'm... nothing. And I can't even feel disappointment over that. I just... exist.
It's funny how much my condition has deteriorated yet people expect me to just function like a normal human being. For the few appearances I have to make, I require about a week of recovery.
There's a noose hanging from my door. I can see it constantly in my peripheral vision. A reminder of my failure. A reminder of when I had the power to actually stop the void from taking over everything.
I just am waiting for it to be over. For me to either starve or thirst to death, to lose myself to muscle atrophy, to just waste away. Nothing matters anyway.
And it's funny. Nothing really triggered this. It's just my body and mind finally succumbing to the constant pressure of existing.
I wish I could have spent my last days in a dignified manner. Seems like that won't happen.
I want to write something profound. Something that people would think back to. Some magic quote which sums up this deep void of exhaustion in a neatly packaged sentence.
It doesn't exist.

This is not exhaustion or burnout. It's clinical depression.

 

[Octavia]

You are certainly not alone in this, I am also very good at staying in bed and being utterly devoid of use. Hopefully things would get better for you eventually, one way or the other.

 

[birdofafeather]

This is not exhaustion or burnout. It's clinical depression.

It very much is burnout. I've had clinical depression for a while, this is just me giving up fighting because I'm too tired.

I'm sorry about your situation... I can relate somewhat, I used to be a perfect student too and have a good job. Now I never leave the house (except to go to the store) and spend all my time on the computer. Am trying to find ways to get out of this situation now.

When did the depression start for you? Is there anything in life that used to make you happy? If so, why do you think it did?

Started for me about 10 years ago. Somehow managed to force myself to function despite it. I think all the failed attempts and shitty life events finally got to me and now I'm just... not doing anything anymore. Not much ever really made me happy.