BitterlyAlive
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- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,635
My brain has a way to torture me when I try to sleep. I've done this for years tbh, but it's been getting worse.
I'll be laying here at 1am, trying to sleep but can't. Then I get random, terrifying images and scenes in my head.
I imagine things like demons standing in my room, a creepy mutated animal walking down my hall and peeking into my room... I get so scared and it feels so real. Like, the animal is usually a deer for some reason, and it doesn't walk normally. It has crazy antlers, big eyes, and a creepy human grin. Its head doesn't move right either. I also imagine people standing outside my window watching me, trying to figure out how to get in to hurt me. I get more and more anxious then somehow convince myself that these things are happening and it makes me panic.
Sometimes it gets really bad and I get patterns in my head that just escalates the fear. I literally get so scared that I'll be frozen with my face down and a pillow over my head. I feel too afraid to even lift the pillow up and move my head, because that means I'll have to look at my room and I'm convinced that I'll see one of those fucking animals or demons. If I get this anxious I literally start to feel a bit lightheaded and sick.
If I can actually move and look into my dark room for a second, I rush to turn on the light by my bed. I either calm down a bit after that, or I see the squiggly patterns on my blanket and get super worked up again.
I don't know why this happens. I hate it so much. I feel really dumb but it's happening again. Figured maybe getting it out to someone would help.
I'll be laying here at 1am, trying to sleep but can't. Then I get random, terrifying images and scenes in my head.
I imagine things like demons standing in my room, a creepy mutated animal walking down my hall and peeking into my room... I get so scared and it feels so real. Like, the animal is usually a deer for some reason, and it doesn't walk normally. It has crazy antlers, big eyes, and a creepy human grin. Its head doesn't move right either. I also imagine people standing outside my window watching me, trying to figure out how to get in to hurt me. I get more and more anxious then somehow convince myself that these things are happening and it makes me panic.
Sometimes it gets really bad and I get patterns in my head that just escalates the fear. I literally get so scared that I'll be frozen with my face down and a pillow over my head. I feel too afraid to even lift the pillow up and move my head, because that means I'll have to look at my room and I'm convinced that I'll see one of those fucking animals or demons. If I get this anxious I literally start to feel a bit lightheaded and sick.
If I can actually move and look into my dark room for a second, I rush to turn on the light by my bed. I either calm down a bit after that, or I see the squiggly patterns on my blanket and get super worked up again.
I don't know why this happens. I hate it so much. I feel really dumb but it's happening again. Figured maybe getting it out to someone would help.